Help! They're Coming - Anxiety Over Workers At My House

[maria]

Maintenance staff are coming to fix the tiles in my shower any second now. Just because the water is leaking into the apartment below. What do I care? I hate, hate, hate having anyone in my apartment. Today was supposed to be a no-people day. Yesterday I went to my volunteer job, and tomorrow is my therapy. Both in Boston. Trains. T's. People, people people.

I'd lock the doors and not let them in but they have keys.

And my dog is going to go bonkers. I''ll have to put her in her crate but that won't stop the barking. She hates having people in the apartment too.

maria

 

[Grama-Herc]

I understand the feeling of not wanting anyone in your space. I am the same way. It is our "Safe Zone", probably the only one we/you have.

Breathe, Breathe, Breathe ! ! Find something to occupy yourself while they are there but it must be something tht will allow you to still be able to see/hear them while they are there. Find a place to sit where you do not feel threatened, some place where your back is not exposed to anyone walking up behind you. Personally I stand and pace while anyone is in my home, even company that comes to see mom.

Hang in there and remember to BREATHE

 

[maria]

They're not finished yet. They're coming back after lunch.

The crazy thing is they're okay guys, not threatening or anything. But I still feel threatened.

You're right about me feeling this is a safe place. But home was never a safe place, either as a child or when I was married. And it was men who hurt me. So I guess I'm having an emotional flashback. Lot of good it does me to know that. It's times like this when I hate who I am. :mad:

It does help some to know that others can relate. Thanks.

maria

 

[Grainne]

With you too Maria. The thought of someone coming into my house bothers me to no end. Glad to hear the workers are decent people. Just hang in there and remember that they won't stay forever!!

 

[kers]

I completely get this. I have had guys working in my house for three days and it is a huge stress for me. I am on edge for another day or two after they leave. My home doesn't ever feel safe, exactly, but it's safer than most other places. So having someone in it, my brain reacts to it as a threat. It's an old fear, and it's going to happen. The key is, how do we cope? I always find that writing here helps. I also go out for a bit after I've had people working in the house. When I come back home it feels less invaded, a fresh start.

You're not alone in this fear.

 

[onebravegirl]

This too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass....Breathe deep and have restful evening once it is all over!
O

 

[maria]

Thanks all. They're gone! :clap:

I have soooo much trouble accepting myself. I just keep wishing I were different and looking for someone to blame and feeling cursed.

maria

 

[tryintobreathe]

I totally understand Maria! I have had a broken dryer here for about 9 months now because the thought of having someone in my house to install another one is just more than I can take. I have tons of laundry with three kids and going to the laundrymat sucks! Someday!!!!

Jen

 

[onebravegirl]

See! You made it through! Well done! One fear down, maybe a few more to go, but you didn't let your fear stop what had to be done. That is progress!
O

 

[Grainne]

Jen...you'll not believe this, but I did the very same thing when C was born. My washer broke so I was reduced to handwashing all of his stuff (he constantly wailed as a babe so public laundry mats were out for me). My husband eventually took pity on me and called in a repair guy while I was out of the house for the day and none the wiser.

Guess we really are all in this together huh?

Glad your workers are gone Maria. Well done getting through it!