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Help with controlling dysregulation & disassociation

fredf

New Here
Hi all. i am new here and at age 58, just learned about abuse in my childhood that i had repressed. One of the ways of dealing is dissociation. i dont even know i am doing it until too late and the self sabotage is done. what do i look for to be able to control this and handle better? thank you
 
I'm not sure if I'm the best one to answer a solution to this but I would say, just realizing things is a lot to take in, so you might find glimpses of emotions you didn't expect and it's helpful to name them out loud, and give yourself a break. It's like peeling an onion. Dysregulation (vs dissociation) I believe is more about the difficulty managing the emotions that arise (managing vs repressing); dissociation I think to a great degree though related is like removing yourself (unintentionally for the most part) from pain and truths so difficult to bear. Mindfulness to the moment (ways to tune you in to 'now'), being kind to yourself, 4 square breathing or breathing exercises, cold water on your wrists and face, and speaking out loud your fears or thoughts or questions (only to someone trustworthy or who gets it) for feedback might help.

There is the upside as many puzzle pieces may fall in to place. But a lot of grief, and anger or a lot of other emotions likely will arise.

I think what never hurts to is to realize when you weren't ready or able or not strong enough or not supported enough your mind wouldn't let you address it, but now you can if even in small pieces which is progress. I can't recall most of my entire childhood and much of my life. And remember going through it now is actually more painful than when it occurre.d Strange but true. And our experiences as children affect us deeply as adults. But there is hope and there can be healing. It's a hard journey though so try to be kind to yourself and curious versus self-blaming and don't be afraid to write on here or ask for what you need. Secrets lose their power when shared, and usually the response is not the negative we feared.

Welcome to you. 😊And hang tight. Lots of others will be able to give good guidance when they see your thread.
 
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Hi all. i am new here and at age 58, just learned about abuse in my childhood that i had repressed. One of the ways of dealing is dissociation. i dont even know i am doing it until too late and the self sabotage is done. what do i look for to be able to control this and handle better? thank you
Gee, somehow that sounds familiar........

Where to start?

Learning to understand all your stresses and begin to mitigate them is a great way to start reducing dissociation.

Are you doing therapy with anyone? Another great place to do some work is with grounding - whatever that looks like for you. It helps keep you in the present and reduces dissociation as well.
 
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