Hey Guys

[atilla]

I've been off the VA meds for about 5 years and it seems they caused more problems for me than they helped. Like DrBlack said above, they made me not give a shit about anything, zombiefied. As far as your anxiety attacks, like everyone else says, triggers sometimes can be hard to pinpoint. If you can find a pattern you can begin to identify the cause, and if you find the cause you can address it as needed.( my grunt brain) What helped me the most was my wife. She would notice what was going on when the panic set in and helped me identify what the cause was. Sometimes it takes an outside observer to help identify what sets the beast off. Hang in there Bro, and stick around. We got your six!

 

[Kent]

Yea It is common with the anti-depressants to cause E.D. or vice versa w/e its even called. I have experienced both on different med's trying shit here and there. Ultimately I do not take any anymore but that is my position at the moment. Could change, and I did try a lot of their shit they continually tried to put down my throat over the years. Some worked for anxiety a bit, but literally made me not give a shit.

I swear some times that stuff seemed to make the suicidal thoughts raise to a level they weren't really even close to before.
It seems very hit or miss, but the good thing is they should start you on a small dosage of anything and gradually go up from there
checking in each week or every two weeks.

Oh also, the side effects did not remain after getting off the med's which can be a task in itself if you are on one for long enough and dosage is upped.

Hopefully it doesn't effect me at all, but if it does its good to know its not permanent. If the 10 MG doesn't do the job, I'm not going up any higher. I think the max is 20 but if I have to go any higher than 10 i'll just put it down all together. I like the idea of not caring. If that's the feeling that it gives me, that would be far better than how I feel most the time now. I can't seem to keep my head from running 10,000 different directions. I keep a TV or Radio on at home constantly because silence drives me nuts and allows my mind to roam.

I've been off the VA meds for about 5 years and it seems they caused more problems for me than they helped. Like DrBlack said above, they made me not give a shit about anything, zombiefied. As far as your anxiety attacks, like everyone else says, triggers sometimes can be hard to pinpoint. If you can find a pattern you can begin to identify the cause, and if you find the cause you can address it as needed.( my grunt brain) What helped me the most was my wife. She would notice what was going on when the panic set in and helped me identify what the cause was. Sometimes it takes an outside observer to help identify what sets the beast off. Hang in there Bro, and stick around. We got your six!

My fiancé has been amazing thoughout all of this as well! We started dating right before my second deployment and she has been a trooper since day one!

 

[atilla]

We can count ourselves lucky Brother.

 

[dutchiedelta]

I like the idea of not caring. If that's the feeling that it gives me, that would be far better than how I feel most the time now.

Seems like a great idea, right? Not caring?
It provides an easier life, no drama and no hassle.
Only it doesn't work that way. A fiancee/wife/husband/lover doesn't stick around if there is no feeling left :)
Plus we, no matter what we feel, have the right to have feelings as well.

I find it easiest to love my dog. My kids are loved, without question, but they require interaction.
Dog is simply there and loves me no matter how bat-poo I go :)
Lately I'm pretty numb, feeling-wise, and not liking it one bit. Relating to others is simple providing I don't have to feel it but can think it (which is easy in my line of work).
Social life, not so easy.

 

[Friday]

So sounds like parking lots are maybe a thing for ya, dog.

Personally, when I can't figure out why the f*ck I'm suddenly going all sideways, it's usually an anniversary. Snort. Shoulda seen me last 10Nov. Or not. Not would be better. But it really can be subtle as hell, and act like a brick to the face. Lol. Or it can be about as subtle as a brick to the face & I'll just be sitting there clueless (What hit me???) Oh. Hey dumbf*ck. Maybe you shouldn't <insert really obvious stressor here>.

Figuring out what your triggers & stressors are gives you mad control. Not in the beginning, and it won't feel like it straight out, but once you can identify them? You can start f*cking with them. Chipping away at them. Working around them. Not avoiding them, usually, unless you are about stressed the f*ck out... But by training your brain to stop going no holds barred.

One of my stressors is transitions. Going all Tigger and bouncing in and out of situations & places is something I can do when I'm doing well. I can count on my mind to assess & dismiss or assess & alert as needed. When I'm not doing well? Pfft. I literally need to stop, light a smoke/ tie my shoe/ pull out my camera... something that gives me an excuse to stay put for a minute and scan the damn area completely. If I don't? It lights every damn thing up like Christmas. Not. Useful. Since my instincts have jacked themselves into a live wire & can't sort shit, I have to do it cognitively. Which gives me a headache. But it also starts retraining my instincts again, (all FNG jumping at every little thing... To knowing what actually looks weird), as well as gives me time to back my shit down. Drop my breath rate, drop my heart rate, see clearly. Then I can shift gears from place to place. It gets faster again, over time. Faster & right which is the important bit. But when I'm doing badly? Gotta slow it all down.

 

[Gunsmith]

Semper Fi fellow Gunner!

Jim here, 0331/0369 from 3/1 Weapons. Dude you have no idea how common your symptoms are. Hell I didn't really start having issues until three years after my last combat pump. You'd be suprised what some triggers are- doesn't have to be a car backfire. Honestly my worst one is driving on the 405, I completely panic! It could be a smell, how you feel (hot, tired etc) it could be what you had for breakfast. The point is not to identify and eliminate triggers, but to attend to how you react to them. I'm tired too- completely exhausted from a deployment five years past. I'm still active on recruiting duty and in the process of medically retiring. Just don't be embarrassed or ashamed about how you feel. We're all here to help each other Bro.

 

[atilla]

Well said Brother, and spot on.

 

[Spock]

Welcome Kent: delayed onset -check, common symptoms-check, heighten arousal-check, panic attacks-check...I agree with Friday, if it isn't parking lots it is certainly your hyper-awareness on overload out in the open but it was likely after trying to maintain yourself sitting in a classroom or being around a bunch of irritating people in Walmart. Regardless, it matters not what the specifics are if you can't nail them down but that you are seeking treatment. Keep pushing and looking for more coping skills. There are well over 100-plus things you can do beyond drugs, like getting lost in the art therapy and finding refuge in making your masks. Every little bit helps, eventually we create our new reality which does and will always include the beast.

Peace