Sufferer Hi Everyone

[joannamagdalena]

Hi. My name is Joanna and I got PTSD almost a year ago. I do not know why, I do not understand it, my life has just changed suddenly. I am scared, depressed, exhausted. I am lost and I have no one around me who really understands how I feel, I visit a therapist but it is not enough. I feel often that next day, next week, that future is impossible for me. I am sick of being afraid and tired. It is so horrible that sometimes I feel unreal. I wish this nightmare is over and I am normal again.


I know I wrote nothing new in this forum but I think I just needed it.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Hi @joannamagdalena , welcome to the forum. This is a great place just to connect and not feel alone. I understand how horrible it is to be so afraid. One thing I have had to tell myself and my husband is that there is no going back. There's going forward and there's getting better, but there's no going back to the way things were before. Sometimes I can't accept that and sometimes I do accept it. Right now I am doing okay for the most part. I have always been afraid of the future, but at the moment I can imagine myself in it. It's been a lot of hard work to get to where I am. I see my therapist twice a week and I write a lot. Would that help you at all- seeing your therapist more or writing? Reaching out here is a good step, too, because you can ask for specific advice, get information on topics, and just feel connected so you know you're not alone.

 

[Suzetig]

Welcome to the forum - I'm sorry you're having a rough time. What happened that they diagnosed you, you don't need to talk about your trauma but it sounds like you were surprised by the diagnosis.

 

[ladee]

Welcome Joanna. Glad you found us but sorry for the reason.
Many people here understand how you are feeling. You will get so much support and caring.
I have had PTSD my whole life. So I feel especially bad for people who had a 'before' life.
It has to be so confusing and painful for things to change so drastically .
Gentle hugs if you accept.

 

[joannamagdalena]

Welcome to the forum - I'm sorry you're having a rough time. What happened that they diagnosed you, you...

I were surprised because there wasn't one situation or accident which could cause PTSD. My therapist said that there had been much too much stress in my life. And because there was no exact cause, it is harder for me to understand and maybe accept it.

 

[Mike S]

Hi. My name is Joanna and I got PTSD almost a year ago. I do not know why, I do not understand...

Joanna I have found in past that looking outward instead of inward helps.Focusing on little things make me feel good.What we focus on grows,so what we focus on is important.Through my struggles I learned that changing my thought process helped which takes daily practice until positive thoughts outnumber negative ones

 

[Keen]

Hi. My name is Joanna and I got PTSD almost a year ago. I do not know why, I do not understand...

Welcome!
I'm sorry you're going through this! It must be so difficult to not be able to pin down an exact cause for your suffering.
Even when you do know the cause, experiencing the symptoms can be confusing.
I can really relate to what you wrote, especially to feeling like the future is impossible. I've felt that way for the last 15 years at least. But, the future has always shown up. No matter what, just don't give up! With patience and treatment and work, your symptoms can become less debilitating and you can experience moments and peace and joy in life again.
Best wishes!

 

[joannamagdalena]

Thank you all for replying. It is nice finally to meet people with the same problem and at the same time I am really sorry you have it. On the other hand, I have to say, it is little terribly to read that it can be that horrible for the rest of my life (I forgot to write it, I am 23). So many things seem to be independent on what I do and it seems to be impossible to get little peace in my life back. I know it will never be the same as before, I think at this age everyone changes but I hate it that I had to change this way and now I cannot accept it.

I hope you all feel much better one day, even if it seems to be impossible after fighting with it for such long time.

 

[ladee]

I did want to share with you that I have only two or three retrieved memories.
This journey was very confusing at first as I had no 'pictures' to go with the feelings.
Not saying this is the case with you.
Just saying that to this day I have not retrieved memories and I absolutely have PTSD.

 

[joannamagdalena]

I do not feel my memories from the beginning of my PTSD, I just know what was happening (for these few months) as I learnt it by heart. And I do not want to remember it but very often (even if I do not want to) I think of the time when I was too afraid of going outside my apartment and now I so afraid I will not be able to do it again.