Sufferer Hi :) Feeling disconnected

[sbigbugless]

I had a quite traumatic childhood and up until quite recently I was in a less than ideal living situation.

I am now living with my partner, I have a job I love and a real desire to be happy. I started therapy and I'm trying my hardest to make friends - as I know it's not healthy to just have my partner. I just still feel so disconnected from everyone. I feel like I'm doing all the right steps but no one is even on the same set of stairs as me. All my siblings, who went through the same thing (sometimes worse) are doing a lot worse, I feel guilty for even being at the point I am.

It doesn't help that the police have been conatcting me regarding the case they're investiagting, I want to help and support as much as I can but I have complete loss of memory of almost my entire childhood - instead of 'pictures' or 'video' memories like I have of more recent events, everything is more just like 'fact' memories (does anyone else have this lol?). They've been investigating for 5+ years but CPS won't take the case without even more evidence, but I have nothing more to give.

I'm not too sure where I was going with this. I just don't have any friends yet and I feel quite alone. Unsure if this counts as an 'Introduction'. I'll do a little one - I am 19, autistic and attempting to be better. Whatever that means. You can call me 'Sbig', which is a joke about spinach in Welsh that I somehow adopted as an internet pseudonym. Anyway, Hi :)

 

[WinnieThePoohChris]

Hi Sbig!

That's a good introduction.

Don't feel guilty for making progress. Your concerns and worries, desire to help, you cannot do any of that unless you work on helping yourself first.

Memory recovery is something you might work on in therapy. I had similar, doing emdr was enlightening but also hard work and traumatising. There are other ways and doing therapy, processing trauma memories might unlock more memories in general.

Friends happen when they happen, you're trying that's what is important. Keep taking steps and people will join you.

 

[CazzTheGeek]

Hello, also had a traumatic childhood and feel alone. There's a lot going on in my life, to much to explain. Please check the content on my profile if you want to find out more.

More importantly, I've been here for a few months and have found people to talk too and made a friend via this app.

Don't feel guilty or bad, or whatever you're feeling about your progress. Easier said than done I know. Try and feel pround and empowered, your on the right track and that's nothing to feel bad about.

Here if you need a chat.

 

[Susan Jane]

I understand welcome to the forum. I am much older but have always felt like an outsider in life. It has been part and parcel of being neglected, abandon and emotionally abused. I never felt the same as my classmates and friends. I guess I moved into my head and then escaped into another place. It happened automatically and back then I didn’t understand I was dissociated. I still have it sometimes and often feel like an alien on the planet even though logically I know it isn’t true. I actually like being alone. I also have a few good friends now but it took many years to accept myself and place trust in other humans. Sending understanding and welcome