Hi, Mobbed / Stalked, Psycho Ex, Childhood Sexual Abuse

[innocencelost]

In September 2011 I was mobbed while driving home. I thought I was going to be led off, gang raped and beaten to death. This was the event that triggered the PTSD.

I was also a victim of domestic violence that included verbal, mental, and physical abuse when I was with my psychopath ex-husband, and now I fear our son is a psychopath too.

From about the age of 4 or 5 until I was 11, a neighbor boy molested me, and I'm missing big chunks from my memory.

Since the event, I haven't gotten any emotional support form family - friends have abandoned me. My family keeps asking me what I'm going to do now...and I can barely walk out the front door to get the mail. I'm trying to make the call to arrange for some kind of counseling, and will be trying to get crime victims compensation and apply for SSI.

I'm dealing with anxiety attacks every day and depression (attempted suicide in October), was on an anti depressant but it made me feel nothing. Plus I've researched some about psychiatric drugs and all have side effects worse than the depression and all cause cognitive loss.

I am so alone in this.

 

[safenow]

Hi Innocencelost,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum. You are in the right place to get some validation. Bless your heart, I know how hard it is.

I am glad you are going to go through crime victims compensation. They can be a good support for you to get the type of help you need.

I can't take anti-depression medication, it makes me even more depressed. Take your time, and look around. You are going to find some really good information here, and meet some really nice, supporting, caring people.

Be sure to keep breathing, deep, slow breathes, hold it for the count of 3, then push it all out. Your tummy should rise when you are doing it correctly. A few times of doing that can help to calm you.

You are not alone any longer.

 

[SweetPeaandSunBird]

Welcome innocencelost,
I can relate to much of your story -- though I do not have any children.

I was mugged and sexually assaulted as a graduate student in another country. Like you, that's what tipped me over and how I was diagnosed with PTSD. I had always had severe depression from the age of 8. My brother and father were emotionally and physically abusive. Non-familial molestations took place during my pre-teen and teenage years, and, perhaps, though my memory is foggy, some incest (I don't trust that yet, but memory fragments and somatic flashbacks suggest it).

I say this to let you know, that, though you find yourself isolated right now in the physical realm, you are not alone in this virtual realm -- this forum, I mean.

I hope you find in it some solace and great support. I have. Heartfelt welcome.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Innocencelost,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

One thing I hope that you find here is that you are not alone. The members of the forum are wonderful for the support they can provide as you work on healing.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

 

[WillyKat]

Like intothelight said, you're not alone here.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)