Hi Operation Iraqi 3 Veteran Here.

[JVLeger]

Hi my name is Jason. I am 24 years old I did 4 years in the air force 10 months convoy security back in 05 in Iraq in the city of tikrit. I was diagnosed with delayed ptsd by my doctor when i was in the air force back in eglin. I was admin separated from the air force last year by my commander due to not being able to meet the pt requirements along with getting into a little trouble because i was on crutches. Ever since I've been out I've had real bad anxiety to the point where only way ill go out in public where there is alot of people is i have to drink heavily. I also for some reason tear the skin out of the inside of my left thumb to help with the anxiety. Ive had real bad anger issues since about 07 where ill have out bursts and I've put holes in my door, ripped my door off the hinges and stuff like that. I went to go through the va when i first got out when i moved back to Miami to get some kind of benefits and help. I went through everything but when it came to talking to the doctors about my ptsd i got scared and never contacted them again. Shortly after that i found out 3 1/2 years later that my wife had cheated on me while i was in Iraq. So that killed me even more and didn't help my situation. It took me 5 months to build up enough strength to leave her and now i live in Vegas with my brother. Even since I've been out here my ptsd has gotten worse to the point where i have night terrors where ill wake up screaming stop, crying or sweating. I submitted another claim with the va out here to get some kind of help and that was almost 2 weeks ago and i haven't heard anything from them. 3 Weeks ago i got into some trouble at my job because of my anger issues and i was fired. I'm sitting here trying to find another job but I'm scared that ill get fired from there due to my anger issues. I have no clue what to do right now and I'm looking for some kind of guidance and help. Please if someone could help me and point in me in the right direction that would be great. I'm lost and have no clue what to do and i feel alone in this world.

 

[popeye]

I am not a combat vet but kinda close to it. I can't really help you out with the anger issues because i am struggling to control my own anger. but I can say this much stick with the VA doctors and trying to talk with them... remember always you are safe now. not in "the bad place" I cannot say that this will be easy to get "over it" because I know from personal experience it's not easy to even live with much less beat it. I am just starting my journey through ptsd and still a newbie myself. I wish you the best of luck and remember to listen to the doctors and talk to them if you can. or if it helps you pretend you are telling a story about someone else.. that worked for me at first.

sorry i wish i could be more help but there are lots of vets here that might have better ideas on how to help you out.

 

[JVLeger]

Thanks for the input.

Its just hard I'm fighting with the VA Right now as it is. I just refiled to go see them and that was a few weeks ago and I'm still waiting for them to get in contact with me. I'm about to call them again to find out whats taking so long.

Everyday I die more and more inside and its hard to live day by day.

Just sucks trying to get a job with the economy and with my ptsd. Just sucks the price we pay to fight for this country.

 

[mrsempty]

Have you tried looking for a VA clinic?

My husband and I found a VA clinic for couples counseling because his ptsd was getting worse, close to what you describe. We get free counseling there and the counselor pointed us in all the right directions as far as getting him help and who to talk to at the VA hospital. Within a month he had doctors appointments and started a new medication. And his anger has subsided a LOT.

Between this site and the VA website you should be able to look up a clinic in your area, or near enough to get you started. It's basically just getting you in the door to speak to a VA social worker who does everything for you, sets your appts, makes sure you attend meetings etc.

Good luck.

And keep reading stuff here, just knowing you aren't alone can help.

 

[jefferylee]

Welcome JV,

First,let me say THANK YOU !! for your service to our country in wartime. You are my hero! While I am not a military vet myself, I always say I've survived two wars...the war on drugs,the war on crime...but just barely.I do volunteer a couple of days a week at my local VA Hospital,so I see some info about how and where to get help.One thing I've learned there is that you have to perservere and keep buggin' them to get the help you've earned...ya' know,the squeeky wheel etc. etc.

Mrsempty has a good point about the vet centers.They are often easier and faster than the VA system.To find one near you,you can call 1-866-496-8838 for a location. Also, the Dept. of Labor has a number for Veterans Employment and Training @ 1-866-487-2365

The Coming Home Project is a non-profit group led by veterans,psycotherapists and interfaith leaders who provide care,support and stress management tools free for OEF/OIF vets.You can reach them at 415-353-5363.Another wonderful orgaization is based in Washington,DC and called Give An Hour (.org) and is a group of mental health professionals who donate time to counsel returning vets from OEF/OIF.They should have people available in the Las Vegas area.In the area of anger management,the American Psychological Assoc. has a hotline you can call @ 1-800-374-2721.Another option is MilitaryOneSourse,which offers counseling services,@ 1-800-342-9647

In addition,this site also has a section (on the left side) called PTSD Resources which can also be of great help in searching for assistance...which we ALL need from time to time.Coming here is a good first step towards healing yourself and we are a tight-knit community who all share the demon of PTSD.As they say,taking the first step can often be the hardest on the journey to healing and you should be proud of the fact that you've taken that most important step already.You can learn a lot about dealing w/ the day-to-day struggles of living w/ PTSD here,ask any questions,or just vent if need be...we are a non-judgemental group who have one anothers' backs and care about YOU...so you are not alone anymore :) I hope some of the info is helpful to you and again,welcome soldier and GOOD LUCK to you :thumbs-up

Peace and Hope...jefferylee

The price of our freedom can be seen every day at any VA Hospital

 

[JVLeger]

Wow thank you both for all the information. I didnt realize how much information is really out there.

On an update the va wrote me back a letter and said they would be contacting me if they need further information, so hey I guess something is starting.

Thank you to everyone for your input. The alone feeling is starting to feel different , so I have some hope. :)

 

[amethist]

Hi JVLeger

There is always hope and it's good to know your alone feeling is changing.

Keep reading and posting.

Good luck

Amethist

 

[JVLeger]

Thanks I've felt alone from the day I returned home from Iraq. It sucks that nothing I can do about my disorder alone and that's what Ive been trying to do since day 1.

I've never knew about this place until the other day when I googled a ptsd forum and here I am. I never realized out many people out there have ptsd for other reasons than war. Its a disorder I wouldn't wish upon any of my worst enemies.

I'm glad to see there people out there willing to help other people. Thank you to everyone on this forum, even if you didn't post on here. :)

 

[amethist]

Hang in there

You will be able to see the difference in yourself eventually.

It just takes time and a lot of effort on your part to conquer this so you can manage it to be able to go forward in everything you do.

Amethist

 

[JVLeger]

Well the VA wrote me a letter and said dont contact us we will contact you if we need further information. So hey its something i guess. :)