Sufferer Hi! Turning 19 this month with PTSD, Autism, Depression, Insomnia, Selective Eating Disorder, GAD & being evaluated for ADHD.

[elephant]

solid empathy on this one. i started life with a speech defect which held me mostly mute until nearly adolescence. i could read and write fluently before i could speak any of the human languages, though i believed myself to be fluent in several animal languages. to this day i avoid talking to people who need precision verbage/grammar to communicate. listen for the message, not the grammar. in english, i am fully capable of engaging in grammar wars with the harshest of critics, but my give-a-damn is busted. whatever you say, grammar-head. let's say ^it^ your way while i'm walking out the door.

Word! I could not have said it better myself. The message is what is important and as long as it’s understandable, I don’t care about grammar/spelling/wording.

Grammar-heads makes me sad…
I have regressive autism meaning that I lost previously acquired skills as a child. My regression took place when I was about to turn three and it mainly affected language skills. I was lucky to regain my previously acquired skills, but ever since, I’ve been struggling with keeping up, spontaneous loss of words, mixing words (and grammar) together, etc.

Same here.

I’ve been on most of them over the years. (There are over 80 commonly Rx’d meds, all stimulants, save 1 atomoxetine/straterra).

Overall?

I prefer espresso.

4-12 shots when I wake up. A few dopios here and there over the course of the day. 8-20 shots before bed.

If the espresso is paired with 10+ hours of exercise, I can skip the nicotine entirely. If not? I usually have a container of nicotine mints in a pocket.

Alternatively, in countries where it’s legal, coca-tea is absolutely delightful. Easily 5x more soothing/clarifying/relaxing than even the strongest espressos.

***

The only med I actually MISS is straterra…

Spoiler: …As it allowed me

- to decide to go to sleep whenever the hell I wanted (wide awake to fast asleep in 15 minutes, instead of 3 hours),
- wake up whenever I wanted (alarm goes off? No matter how tired I was, or how much Inwanted to remain in bed, I not only heard it, but it was simply a matter of willpower / decision making to get up. Rather than requiring either an hour or more of an alarm gradually allowing me to surface, or an emergency to blink instantly awake)
- decide to think about something later
- kicked my eating disorder to the curb
- emotions faded of their own accord, rather than having to be deliberately switched or diluted/altered
- emotions never split into 5-7 groupings, all equally valid/seperate (like I didn’t feel suicidal AND enthusiastic about the day AND professionally curious about misc wold conflicts AND deeply in love AND wracked with guilt/shame/anxiety. <<< Not that I don’t feel all those things at once without them splitting into unique groupings, but once they have split, each group has to be attended to individually, instead of when they’re simply layered and I can bring desired emotions to the forefront of the strata, whilst pushing the others down >>> With straterra the whole “think of something else” thing people say, finally made sense. Oh! You mean anything I’m not actively focusing on just sort of fades away, rather than getting a soundtrack? How freaking WEIRD is this?!?

Sooooo many benefits of that drug. But? Even though the downsides were few, they included a couple things I just couldn’t live with. So, nope! I’ll stick to the oh so soothing & clarifying OTC freely & widely available stimulants.

What’s Rx’d? Prescribed mediciation?
I’m sorry straterra didn’t work for you.

One of the reasons why I want an actual ADHD-diagnosis is to try medication. I don’t know if it works for me or if I’ll get lots of side effects that I just can’t live with. But I’m not even allowed to try as it is now.
And since I already am diagnosed autistic, there’s literally nothing negative for me to receive an ADHD-diagnosis (there are professions that you’re automatically banned from if having a neuropsychiatric diagnosis).

 

[arfie]

I’ve been struggling with keeping up, spontaneous loss of words, mixing words (and grammar) together, etc.

me too. . . in all of my languages, my childhood speech defect still rises on random, usually high stress occasions. as frustrating --infuriating-- as it is, the less i struggle with it, the more easily it seems to pass. i cease the struggle by speaking as little as possible. it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. i tell myself that those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

it might sound weird, but for the little stutters, spitting helps me. i think of it as, "spitting out the stutter." the speech therapist who introduced me to that trick called it, "channeling the frustration and centering your focus."

 

[elephant]

me too. . . in all of my languages, my childhood speech defect still rises on random, usually high stress occasions. as frustrating --infuriating-- as it is, the less i struggle with it, the more easily it seems to pass. i cease the struggle by speaking as little as possible. it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. i tell myself that those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

I try challenge myself to speak up in situations where I know I’m going to struggle. If I’m in *that* mood, I simply say "I have regressive autism, it affected my language skills but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen to me".
For whatever reason that sentence make people quiet and wait for me to finish speaking :)

 

[BetterNow]

I’m new here so I thought it’d be good to kind of introduce myself

I’m 18 years old (turning 19 this month) and I just got diagnosed with PTSD. I’m pretty sure I have C-PTSD because of my symptoms and the number of traumas I’ve experienced, but PTSD is what it says in my medical journal.

I also have autism (level 2), depression, insomnia, selective eating disorder, and GAD. And I’m going to be evaluated for ADHD soon.

I’ve been in different queues for therapy since 2019. And I am finally going to start therapy this upcoming week! Therapy is going to be tough but it’s also much awaited and something that I’ve been longing for.


(Sorry for my bad English, I’m not a native speaker…)

Hi Elephant, I went for most of my life telling myself that I had depression, but in 2009 was I diagnosed with PTSD ... I believe that my depression was caused by the PTSD ... You may be in the same situation, so if/when therapy makes progress you might find you are not as depressed ... PTSD can be present without people recognising it - they only see the other co-morbid symptoms ... Keep the faith, therapy is amazing when it works ... and let us know how you get on ...

 

[elephant]

Hi Elephant, I went for most of my life telling myself that I had depression, but in 2009 was I diagnosed with PTSD ... I believe that my depression was caused by the PTSD ... You may be in the same situation, so if/when therapy makes progress you might find you are not as depressed ... PTSD can be present without people recognising it - they only see the other co-morbid symptoms ... Keep the faith, therapy is amazing when it works ... and let us know how you get on ...

Hi,
I would not be surprised if that’s the case for me as well. I’ve been on different antidepressants since February of 2018 (when I was diagnosed with depression) and none of them have helped. I’ve never met the same doctor more than onece or twice, so most of them have not been willing to make any changes in my medication because "they didn’t know me".

In December last year, my mom required that I get to see the same doctor so that they can actually get to know me… I have now had the same doctor for 4 months. And on my first appointment, she gave some hints that there probably is something previous doctors have missed/not taken upon because of how my depression-symptoms have (not) developed.
That led me to my PTSD-diagnosis and also an acute referral to start therapy.

So yeah, I would not be surprised if my symptoms of depression gets better as therapy makes progress. I’m looking forward to see the positive effects of therapy!

(Sorry for writing walls of text, I just can’t keep it short )