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[hogananjiggs]

So I have a middle child that has mental issues we are working it out very slowly, dinner time no matter how many breaths ends up in a big verbal brawl. ( usually directed at me I have learned to shut the f**** up.) It continues.. His hatred to me is so strong , it hurts me so deep so friggen deep I feel so helpless I love him and care about him but he hates me so much. I'm told by his T that this is not the case but hearing it day in and day out.... well lets say I feel like eating a bullet I know I wont but that is how deep the hurt goes.

I so badly want it to stop. We are supposed to take the kids to the trailer for the weekend for some fun but it is not turning that way . I'm dreading the drive

What do you do?? While I'm writing this he is still ridiculing me from upstairs. I feel 100 % responsible. If the s*** that happened when I was 5 didn't happen things would be different.

How the f*** do I get better if this goes on every day, I dissociate hourly, it would seem get mad and have no clue what happened. I'm told by my T I need time away from home.. problem is then I spend too much time in my head gotta keep busy... right gotta keep busy.
I don't want to go on like this. Sorry for the rant.

P

 

[Thizette]

You are not responsible for what happened to you as a child, but you are responsible for seeking your own therapy and healing. My heart hurts for you.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

If you were abused as a child, there's a good chance that you never developed any boundaries (I know I didn't). . That can cause a lot of trouble when you're trying to teach your children to respect you. Is there any chance your whole family could do therapy together? I agree with Thizette, though, that therapy/counseling for you would be very helpful.

I don't know how old your son is, but I have had some serious middle-child issues, too. Last year I had to kick my daughter out of the house and I couldn't let her back in until she got treatment.

I hope this works out for you and your son. Remember, we're here for you.

 

[hogananjiggs]

I'm in therapy for the paSt year and middle guy has just started. I don't think I have boundaries it's just so tense all the time for me. I have alot of difficulty relating to my kids. I'm working hard on it.