Honor Thy Father And Mother...

[Philippa]

I'm touched bethinhfx. I just don't know. What if I'm wrong... my truths seem to destroy the people I care for. Maybe silence is the best I can do...

I've had the same doubts ericaboo, but I think we follow our instincts with these things, and this is where they lead us. That can't be wrong. We have our perceptions for a reason, and if we were looking outside at someone elses situation, it would be easy to say to them "You are better off away from those people, for your own sake"...it's just harder when it's us in the situation.

 

[Philippa]

people's warped interpretation make assholes.....:mad:

Yes, that's true. People tend to interpret things the way they want to...not just in the Bible, but in other holy doctrines.

I was speaking the other day to a man about the way Muslims have been brainwashed into believing that if they kill people "in the name of Allah" they will get 70 virgins in heaven (as if they'd know what to do with even 1:rolleyes:)

When you give millions of horny men who have no luck with women that belief, they will tend to take it on without questioning whether it is really realistic or not...they just want to believe it will happen.

 

[HëllaBubz]

Well for my side, I've always wondered why people want to kill in the name of a God who wishes to save.
How can you improve your life if you're dead? Kinda defeats the purpose!

 

[Ghost427]

I don't have a bible in front of me to make the proper reference but there's a companion verse to "honor thy mother and father" that talks about parents not behaving in such a way as to cause anger and resentment in their children. It is, as with all relationships, a two way street, with responsibilities on each side. I buried my father, the abuser, yesterday, he died in his sleep on Monday. I stood graveside knowing completely that I had honored him, by living an upright life myself, by entering into therapy to deal with the abuse (something people of his generation would never do), by refusing to perpetuate the abuse. Graveside yesterday I kept thinking, "he was as damaged as I am.". I knew enough about his own childhood to know we bore the same scars. I am in NO way excusing his actions, just slowly getting back to my point... That I honor my father by not becoming him.

Hope that helps.

 

[Eleanor]

Ghost427 - that was beautifully said - and you have IMO truly honored your father.

I am so sorry for your loss - which started so painfully, and so long before his physical death.:cry:

 

[Tinyflame]

Exactly Eleanor.
xox

 

[HëllaBubz]

Ghost, I understand exactly what you mean....from a very young age I was adamant, and still am, that I am NOT my parents, I am ME!

My father always insisted that we children were mirror images of him, but that mum wasn't good enough to be copied. To which I replied, 'how am I supposed to avoid all the screw ups you've done if you try to make me a mirror image of you?'.

I have an extremely strong sense of identity, the harder my parents pushed, the more violently I pushed back, and yet all they needed to have done was to acknowledge and respect my individuality, and then I would have stopped fighting, and started to listen a little more!

 

[ericaboo]

I wrote my Mom an email and said I love the family, but won't be contacting them right now because I am going through therapy and need some "me" time. I gave them a way to reach me in a dire emergency.

I feel that I am honoring my family, and myself that way. I just hope they will be able to respect that. I was surprised at the decent email I got back. I just have to try not to think about how anyone might be judging me right now or what they are saying or thinking.

I agonized over how to deal with the situation, and that was the best I could come up with.

 

[HëllaBubz]

Hey guys, I went a did a little research, and perhaps for those of you who are Christian, or those who wish a clear perspective without flavour......

Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.


I also found this....

​

Colossians 3:21

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.


It is the parent's responsibility to 'raise a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.' If the parents do not raise a child in a manner that is pleasing to Him, you cannot be expected to obey and respect them in things which are, for a lack of a better word, blasphemous in His eyes.

He knows that parents are not perfect, but He is the Ultimate Parent, and so long as you honor and respect him, you are respecting and honoring your parents as though they were doing right in His sight.

Ephesians 6:1
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."

I don't mean to preach, but I have struggled with this also, and although my relationship with my family is blessed enough to be healing, I still struggle, and my own father (O the irony :rolleyes:) raised some of these verses for me to share with you.


Lots of love to you all, and I hope and pray that you will find peace either with or without your family, as is His will.....just remember He will always have a hug for you, and has provided potential millions of people who can give you those hugs and be the 'parents' to you that you need.

 

[Eleanor]

Way to go ericaboo!

Good references Bubzilla, thank you for those.

 

[Philippa]

I wrote my Mom an email and said I love the family, but won't be contacting them right now because I am going through therapy and need some "me" time. I gave them a way to reach me in a dire emergency.

This might be something I can do when I send my father an e-card for his birthday in a few days. I was wanting to say something like I wanted to resolve the issues between us but I just don't feel that it's possible right now while they are all blaming and judging me.

I feel that I am honoring my family, and myself that way. I just hope they will be able to respect that. I was surprised at the decent email I got back. I just have to try not to think about how anyone might be judging me right now or what they are saying or thinking.

That's the hardest part for me at the moment. Focusing on other things besides what I think they are thinking about me.

I heard a voice, coming from the dysfunctional parents inside me, that "you're a Bad girl"...and have been agonizing over this ever since. I can see the whole conditioned programming, and can see through it, but it still does not make it any less difficult on a feeling level.

I agonized over how to deal with the situation, and that was the best I could come up with.

This has helped me a lot right now ericaboo.

 

[Philippa]

Well for my side, I've always wondered why people want to kill in the name of a God who wishes to save.
How can you improve your life if you're dead? Kinda defeats the purpose!

It doesn't make much sense, though I guess, when you're horny and not getting any, that can make a guy a bit nuts and stupid.:laugh: