Hope I'll be the last diary I'll ever write

Givrali

MyPTSD Pro
My sleep habits are shit at the moment. Also enemy resident is already complaining about something very loudly
 

Givrali

MyPTSD Pro
Expected symptoms of flash-backing
Distress
Physical memories
Sex like sensations
Having trouble thinking

First time symptom
Wanting to vomit
 

Givrali

MyPTSD Pro
so I got triggered by being alone with someone who sexualy abused me and now I'm feeling better I look for rape fics, i possible incest rape fic.... Why I'm so bad at taking care of myself ? Really
 

joeylittle

Administrator
now I'm feeling better I look for rape fics, i possible incest rape fic.... Why I'm so bad at taking care of myself ? Really
Honestly, it's not that unusual to do this. I think people do it for many different reasons, and I'm not even sure it's always unhealthy.

BUT - if you find you feel compelled to look up that stuff, or that you can't stop doing it even when you want to stop? That's when it's shifted into something that's unhelpful, likely connected to rumination. Try and not be too hard on yourself about it, but do think about shifting to a healthy distraction to help curtail the behavior.
 

Givrali

MyPTSD Pro
Honestly, it's not that unusual to do this. I think people do it for many different reasons, and I'm not even sure it's always unhealthy.

BUT - if you find you feel compelled to look up that stuff, or that you can't stop doing it even when you want to stop? That's when it's shifted into something that's unhelpful, likely connected to rumination. Try and not be too hard on yourself about it, but do think about shifting to a healthy distraction to help curtail the behavior.
I'll study the reason behind last night choice .
Since I also try to write about an uncle taking pleasure to rape his nephew like in a calculated planning way to break him. I dreamed about my text more or less. But that can be interpreted as my brain still trying to complete the extra scene (won't be in published story).
Anyway I was the victim as always and it's never pleasant
 

Givrali

MyPTSD Pro
At least the good point of the fic I read is the rape part is only in memories form and story is more about dealing with the fallout if it
 
Top