Medical Hospital Visit Meltdown

[Poconogirl]

Today for the first time in 12 years I stepped foot in the hospital I watched my grandmother die in. As I walked the halls toward my nephews room I felt my hands start to shake. I tried to push down the feelings cause I know my sister needed me. I feel proud that I was able to stay in there for about an hour to visit with them but as my boyfriend and I were leaving we stopped at the bathrooms and as I waited for him to come out I turned and saw the chapel I used to stop in and pray for my grandmother and the hallway that I always had to walk down. When my bf came out I practically bolted down the hall and out the door. Once I got outside all I could hear was the sound of ambulance sirens and all I could see in my head was flashbacks from her illness and the day she died. I made it to the stairwell of the parking garage before my whole body started to shake, I started to hyperventilate and slid down the wall into a fetal position and started to cry. I tried to close my eyes and block out the sights, sounds and flashbacks but all that did was make my grandmother's face appear and I cried even harder. I was in the hallway crying for almost 10 mins. I dont know how to go to that hospital and prevent this from happening again.

 

[Gadgie]

Yea! hospitals are like that, I was in one recently and I just couldnt wait to get out of it, in fact i had a panic attack while hooked up to a drip in the ward, I felt in just had to get out of there!

It caused a row between the nurse and myself, but when I did eventually get outside, I could breathe again!

I always get flash backs of my late wife being in hospitals, she was in so many different ones, as was my mother when she was alive. Even my Dad was in hospital for a while, and like me, he wasn't the "ideal patient"

Too many bad memories for me in hospitals, even when I had to go to them with my job, when I was in the ambulance service?

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug: