I started a thread a while back about losing my ability to cope.
I was living in piles of crap, decomposing food, cat shit, spores flying all over etc. real filth.
Over last 8 days between me, help from a cleaner - I didn't have the stomach to deep clean the kitchen *yik* and a painter the place is now - 'so fresh and so clean, clean' clutter free, balanced, bright and welcoming. It's really starting to have the feels of a home:)
Growth--
This is my first time of creating a nest.
No privacy/boundaries coming up meant I just had no choice over what went into my space and never developed these skills. On this front, this has been a big deal.
Insights--
I also felt quite vulnerable, still am for all kinds of reasons but I'm sure part of it is cleaning and de cluttering. I realised during the process that the clutter was like a physical version of the haze and fog I get when dissociating. I also realised that the filth and stuff was a protective barrier. It gave an excuse to hide and not have people in my home and so on another level it offered some type of protection.
Gratitude --
I am grateful I was able to gift myself this for my birthday. I really enjoyed the painting I did on the actual day.
I'm grateful for the support I had from folks on the forum. It was generally helpful just knowing in the background somewhere someone was (or would be) cheering me on, knowing that some folks would get what a big deal it is. I'm also grateful for the resources that allowed me to get assistance with some of the process.
:)
I was living in piles of crap, decomposing food, cat shit, spores flying all over etc. real filth.
Over last 8 days between me, help from a cleaner - I didn't have the stomach to deep clean the kitchen *yik* and a painter the place is now - 'so fresh and so clean, clean' clutter free, balanced, bright and welcoming. It's really starting to have the feels of a home:)
Growth--
This is my first time of creating a nest.
No privacy/boundaries coming up meant I just had no choice over what went into my space and never developed these skills. On this front, this has been a big deal.
Insights--
I also felt quite vulnerable, still am for all kinds of reasons but I'm sure part of it is cleaning and de cluttering. I realised during the process that the clutter was like a physical version of the haze and fog I get when dissociating. I also realised that the filth and stuff was a protective barrier. It gave an excuse to hide and not have people in my home and so on another level it offered some type of protection.
Gratitude --
I am grateful I was able to gift myself this for my birthday. I really enjoyed the painting I did on the actual day.
I'm grateful for the support I had from folks on the forum. It was generally helpful just knowing in the background somewhere someone was (or would be) cheering me on, knowing that some folks would get what a big deal it is. I'm also grateful for the resources that allowed me to get assistance with some of the process.
:)
