How A Person Emotional Blackmails People

[soulofLC]

From the same book.

Fear flourishes in the dark, unexamined but vividly imagined. Our bodies and the primitive parts of our brains read it as a reason to run away, and often that's what we do, avoiding what we fear because deep inside we believe that's the only way to survive. In fact as you will see, our emotional well-being depends on doing just the opposite-facing and confronting what we fear the most.

I wanted to click like, but I hate prospect of facing it! Perhaps that is better than running away, more life affirming, no matter the response of the person confronted. Will have to think about it. Thanks for continuing to post these thought provoking excerpts.

 

[Sandra]

It sure has given us a lot to think about.

 

[Sandra]

From the same book.

How nice it would be if blackmailers were as sensitive to our feelings as they want us to be to theirs.

Most of us have a terrible time defining our boundaries, where our obligations to others begin and end. And when our sense of obligations is stronger than our sense of self respect and self-caring, blackmailers quickly learn how to take advantage.

 

[ms spock]

Your words gave me a chill! I developed a bone marrow infection in my leg at the age of 3 years. Hospitalized for 3 months, they didn't think I would live. My psyc docs consider that to be my "original" trauma. Yikes! What a strange confluence of your beautifully descriptive language and my life event!

It is interesting how it all connects up sometimes.

 

[ms spock]

From the same book.

The Most Basic Fear

Our first encounter with fear comes in infancy, when we literally cannot survive without the goodwill of our caretakers. This helplessness creates abandonment terrors that some people never outgrow. We humans are tribal animals, and the idea of being cut off from the support and affection of those we love and depend on can be almost unbearable. That makes fear abandonment on of our most potent, pervasive and easily triggered fears.

Wow does this comment hit home with me.

And when they abuse us it is either psychosis or disassociation, derealisation and depersonalisation.

 

[ms spock]

From the same book.

Fear flourishes in the dark, unexamined but vividly imagined. Our bodies and the primitive parts of our brains read it as a reason to run away, and often that's what we do, avoiding what we fear because deep inside we believe that's the only way to survive. In fact as you will see, our emotional well-being depends on doing just the opposite-facing and confronting what we fear the most.

Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Confronting my family would only lead to violence against me. So in this particular situation this is not a good idea.

On the other hand there are a whole host things I need to stop running away from and turn around and face and confront. I don't know if I can do it though.

 

[ms spock]

People tell me to ignore it, but it sure can be hard sometimes.

That is almost impossible. She put the trip wires, the buttons and all the triggers in to you.

 

[ms spock]

I have learnt that you can be abandoned even while you are in a relationship. It comes in many forms,.

Yes in my family it was a continual problem.

 

[ms spock]

Yes, my youngest brother is the one, and you are right. consider the source. He is a bigger mess than me because he won't face up to his problems. Good point to remember. Hard sometimes tho, because he is in the "inner circle" (inner sanctum might be more to the point) and even has bullied my dad into letting him control family finances, which at one point were substantial. Poof!

Sorry for going on, my symptoms are really bad right now, as you can probably tell.

Ah you seem clear as a bell for me. You are expressing your self well.

 

[Srain]

you described my mother with all that emotional blackmail stuff. Scary, she does not even realise she is doing it either. People tell me to ignore it, but it sure can be hard sometimes.

Who told you to "ignore it???? Does she really NOT realize she is doing it???

When I'm told to ignore my mother's obviously vicious actions towards myself and others, it goes completely against who and what I am as a human being and yet it's my brother who tells me this and he of all people knows this and it makes me literally ill that he should say this......he is NOT who I always thought he was.

 

[Sandra]

Some people are wimps and like to hide from problems and not face them.

 

[Loloma]

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm I know quite a few of thoughs, unfortunately. :mad: