How A Person Emotional Blackmails People

[Sandra]

I am so amazed at your strength and courage. You resisted his demands and stood your ground in spite of the pressure.

I guess in some ways my stubborn side paid off.

 

[Sandra]

IWhy are men often the last to seek help for their problems and self-medicate?

Well I give so much credit to anyone regardless of which sex they are to seek help and make a better life for themselves.

 

[Sandra]

I am sorry you are left to pick up the pieces.

I am still paying off his debts almost 22 years later. It's a whole different set of rules when one dies of a suicide which is what he did, then dying of natural causes.

 

[soulofLC]

I have exercised my stubborn side so many times with men. I have fought and kicked my way out of many bad relationships. Somehow this time, and several other times when I really loved the guy, I get blind sighted. Perhaps it is not so much that I loved them, but needed the love and support I THOUGHT I was getting from them so bad that I payed the piper. I didn't feel loved and valued as a child; perhaps when someone seems to offer unconditional love, I fall prey. But unconditional love is not the love that a relationship has to offer; that was my parents job, and they did not know how or could not give it. These me choose me because they know I am needy. I have to work on self love to keep them at bay! Away, you tricksters and bloodsuckers! I can do this....one step at a time.

 

[soulofLC]

I am still paying off his debts almost 22 years later. It's a whole different set of rules when one dies of a suicide which is what he did, then dying of natural causes.

I am so sorry. But you seem to have an inner strength to deal. I don't know if I could do that!

 

[Sandra]

I didn't feel loved and valued as a child.

That is the key SoulofLC. We were blackmailed into thinking we were worthless and as children and we believed them. Now we tend to think that when we were treated in this manner that we must settle for second best.

 

[Sandra]

I am so sorry. But you seem to have an inner strength to deal. I don't know if I could do that!

I will probably die with a lot of unpaid debts but there isn't much I can do about it.

 

[soulofLC]

Yes, it is still painful that my parents, my brothers, still reject me, who I am, where I am, and cannot or will not support me emotionally (or otherwise, when they could....) But I am finding support where I can, and must relearn to support myself. Funny, I thought I had it down for so many years. Then this happens. Perhaps that is why it has been so hard.

 

[Sandra]

That is the key SoulofLC. We were blackmailed into thinking we were worthless and as children and we believed them. Now we tend to think that when we were treated in this manner that we must settle for second best.

And a Dr.Jekyl/Mr.Hyde knows just the right cards to play to get what THEY want from others. That type usually are very selfish people always wanting THEIR way.

 

[soulofLC]

I will probably die with a lot of unpaid debts but there isn't much I can do about it.

((((Hugs hugs hugs Sandra))))

 

[Sandra]

Yes, it is still painful that my parents, my brothers, still reject me, who I am, where I am, and cannot or will not support me emotionally.

I can so relate to that. But then abusers will always feel the need to put others down or not be there for them. I see all abusers as bad apples that are rotten to the core and there is no chance of them changing.

 

[Sandra]

I will probably die with a lot of unpaid debts but there isn't much I can do about it.

That was the price I had to pay for getting back my life and sanity.