How Can I Fix Who I Am?

[Me Myself and I]

At this point I no longer know what is due to my PTSD and what is only a side of my character!

I've got many complications, but what I find most annoying, is me getting upset easily and over react to the slights of things. And it is getting out of hand.

Not only I react emotionally, but physically as well. I become red, and my body temperature rises to almost an unbearable degree. My breathing becomes heavy, and a wave of sadness takes over me.

My mom keeps saying that this is life, it's not always rainbows and flowers, there are as well bad situations and mean people. And that of course I know.

Yet again I can't react properly, I can't control my reaction, for me a silly word can be a real nightmare I'd think and think about it for days, if not weeks.

I need to find a way to solve this, because I can't carry on like this. It is not healthy nor realistic.

Thanks

 

[Sweethellishlove]

I wish I knew the answer to your question because I'm going through the same thing as you and have been for years. I guess we are ahead of the game a bit because we know our way of thinking is irrational...but what can we do about it? I try thinking about other things or kind of stepping back and telling myself that it's not right...but that doesn't work because the other side of me that's negative always wins. I think of my life like the angel and devil on my shoulder except the devil has a shot gun, and the angel is unarmed. If you aren't seeing a therapist that's the only thing I can say that might help because one thing for sure it's really hard to do it on your own. If anyone has kudos and please share because I've been reading psychology books and self help books and can't seem to cure myself.

 

[Me Myself and I]

I am so sorry you are going through the same, I know how upsetting and difficult that is.

I've seen a therapist for one year. According to him it was enough, the rest of the "journey" I have to do it by myself Using the "inner" resources. I must admit the therapy helped me a lot, yet again I feel as if there are still a lot of unresolved issues. A lot of aspects that I need to work on.

What I most hate about the situation I talked about, is that I not only get upset about whatever it has been said, but I get angry with myself thinking that it's all my falt.

I am way too sensitive and afaid to hurt others feelings and try to ne careful, which of course is not that helpful becaue I expect people to be as careful as I try to be. And that is impossible of course. I'm really so confused!

 

[Sweethellishlove]

Inner resources my ass I don't have any inner resources haha. I'm sensitive too except I have no problem telling people how it is, which makes a lot of people pissed off. Wish I was more sensitive to others, but I'm pretty harsh because I guess people piss me off. It's really confusing because you feel you don't have the inner resources and it's like give me the tools I need to fix myself, it's so hard because it's like you know what to do but knowing what to do and doing it are two totally different things. It's not that easy.

 

[Me Myself and I]

It's not easy at all!
And back to the "inner resources"! Your comment was exactly what first came up to my mind when told so. But with your therapist you know!! Ahah

Anyway, I think your way is better, I mean why being terrified of hurting others when they usually don't give a thing? :confused:

 

[Sweethellishlove]

Yeah I couldn't imagine being super nice to people when they clearly don't deserve it. But then you get the label of being a bitch. I'm just like well at least I will say it to your face instead of behind your back. But if someone says something to me to my face, I will go home and cry about it and just be like they are right. That's the crappy thing. I can be told 100 compliments but the only thing I will listen to is the 1 insult.

 

[Me Myself and I]

I can be told 100 compliments but the only thing I will listen to is the 1 insult.

Exactly!!! Why is that? I have no idea! The human mind is indeed the most complex thing ever!!!

 

[Barconian]

Don't stress the human mind and it works well :)

 

[The Albatross]

Read up onLink Removed and regulation techniques Learning some DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) skill sets helped me alot. I did it as a self study.

 

[Deleted member 6617]

I not only get upset about whatever it has been said, but I get angry with myself thinking that it's all my falt.

Oh boy, I so relate to that. I do that all the time. I don't know why I think everything is my fault. Even things that really have nothing to do with me. An example: I called in sick to work and also let the person who rides with me know I was ill and they would have to find another ride. Now logic would say; 1. it was NOT my fault I got sick and had to call in. and 2. It was NOT my fault the person who rides with me didn't have back up plans. Yet I blame myself for getting sick and FORCING the other person to miss work. UHG....twisted.

I am way too sensitive and afaid to hurt others feelings and try to ne careful, which of course is not that helpful becaue I expect people to be as careful as I try to be.

Exactly...that is me too! Then I get offended, mad, hurt when they aren't, or don't even try to be careful or sensitive. So who needs to be fixed, me or them?

I can be told 100 compliments but the only thing I will listen to is the 1 insult.

Yep...that is me too, and it devastates me. I not only feel bad for the insult, but I feel bad that I might have hurt or offended someone. I don't want anyone to feel about themselves, the pain, hurt, shame, that I feel about myself.

Somehow I always make myself out to be the bad guy, the one at fault, the one who is wrong. I know it isn't true, but then I wonder if it might be. So confusing.

Yes, DBT is a good tool and takes tons of practice. Personally, I was unable to go through it on my own and needed the guidance of my counselor. It has been over two years since I have been in therapy, and I find myself in a place that I am asking once again the same question as you are, "How can I fix who I am?"