How can i trust what comes up during emdr?

[lkat1151]

Hello, this is my first post.
I have been so confused since starting EMDR, I am 5 sessions in. Memories have come up that I had no idea happened and Im having a hard time trusting what Im seeing. I see the memories from a third person perspective. Is there any way I can find out if what comes up is real, or could my mind be fabricating all of this?

 

[EveHarrington]

It's not likely that your brain is fabricating memories as that's not really what the brain tends to do in trauma processing.

 

[lkat1151]

Thanks for your input. Its just hard to accept it as true when I never even suspected what came up during emdr. Im at war with myself over this, trying to validate what I saw but also in shock/disbelief.

 

[lkat1151]

It's not likely that your brain is fabricating memories as that's not really what the brain tends...

Do you think there could be room for distortion?

 

[Rumors]

I had a very similar experience. I saw movies in 3rd person and I had memories that came up after emdr and even just after a therapy appointment. It sucked... I don't have words of wisdom other than don't judge where you are or what comes up. There really isn't a need to assess the truth in what comes up just yet. Trust me, you are going to have plenty of time to think about it and ruminate over the memories. When they come, just let it be what it is... over time, you work out how it all came down. However, just so you will know, nothing I remembered in my movie reel turned out to be a distorted reality. It all happened and that was difficult to handle without having the added diffulty of whether or not I think it happened. Be kind to yourself...lots of compassion and patients.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I think that things happen to us that we don't process. They get stuck in that trauma part of the brain and safely buried. The emdr helps bubble it up and process it into the correct memory files.

I had some semi-sexual experiences when I was in the 2nd-5 th grade. I had always felt guilty about them, they were with kids the same age as me, I researched that it could be normal stages of development, which eased the guilt. However, emdr seems to flash me into a specific bedroom at a friend's house and I have no idea why. I don't remember any adults ever being in the big giant house. Did I block them out? I don't know, but that room somehow links to the rape, shame and fear that I am processing. Maybe it is nothing, maybe it is something. I have no idea.

 

[lkat1151]

I had a very similar experience. I saw movies in 3rd person and I had memories that came up after emdr a...

Thank you so much. Hearing from someone who's experienced something similar definitely helps me put things into perspective as opposed to just trusting my therapist who has been very quick to confirm that these things happened

I think that things happen to us that we don't process. They get stuck in that trauma part of the brain...

Something that makes me believe that what I saw actually happened, is the way my neck hurts during the emdr sets and how that pain led me to a memory of my father holding me down by my neck. I've been processing shameful memories and my therapist always asks where I feel it in my body. It's always been in my neck but it never made sense until I recalled that memory. I don't believe my body would lie. My therapist also mentioned that the memories that came up were too specific for them to be something of my mind's creation.
I am sorry you went through that and I wish you lots of luck on your healing journey.

 

[Freida]

It took a while to figure out if I could trust myself because I was so undone by remembering. Like @lkat1151 said - if you feel pain during the session it is probably true. And that sucks. I started coughing in my first session and have coughed every time since. We finally figured out it came from not being able to breathe in the past. Then the picture came. I've also figured out that if I burn (hard to explain - kind of like when your foot wakes up after it goes to sleep) then the memory is true. How do I know? I would tell my self "this happened because I remember it" If it wasn't true -- no burn.

So yea, while its hard, try not to fight it and just go with what your brain wants you to see. The first time it works and you get through the whole memory is amazing.

 

[Haven]

I know for me I didn't believe what I saw in EMDR at all! I was so overwhelmed with it. It was actually almost torturous for me, and I couldn't trust myself. It took me months before I could begin to accept it. It mostly came from seeing doctors who confirmed what happened to me. Fun fact whenever I talked about what happened to me, my neck would turn bright red, with red hands on my throat. I have been told by doctors that my body has been traumatized by rape in a similar way. It was almost a year before I got that proof. Right now just accept it. You don't have to figure out whether or not things happened for real. I suggest taking it at face value. It needs time for you to process.

 

[oasis2003]

Emdr really brings up stuff that you have blocked out. It did
with me. I thought this can’t really be real , but in fact it was , and explained why I had a dissociative disorder.

 

[Keen]

My understanding is that in EMDR, not everything that comes up necessarily happened. It can be kind of like dreams--with elements or symbols of true events. At the same time, true events can come up as well. Its difficult to sort through. Memory isn't perfect, as traumatic experiences aren't encoded in a narrative manner. So sometimes you have to let go of the need for certainty, and just focus on what helps you get healthier and functioning again.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

My understanding is that in EMDR, not everything that comes up necessarily happened. It can be kind of lik...

I have been told this as well and truly struggle with it.