goosegoose
Confident
Hey again besties,
Basically as the title suggests. I had a session today with my therapist and my SO for a 3 month treatment plan review. I've been bottling so much up with this therapist, scared to talk about anything, and I think I'm starting to hit my limit. The "bottle" is about to explode into a million pieces. I've been basically only laying in bed the past week or more because I'm so stressed and weighed down with keeping so much inside. I'm overall very intimidated by her energy, even though she's the nicest person.
I feel like I should request an extra appointment this week, but then I start self shaming and feeling so stupid and embarrassed/guilty for even thinking about asking. I'm under the impression that if I ask for an extra session, I have to be talking and open the whole time otherwise - why am I wasting her time? (Personal belief, not her words). I'm also worried about crossing her boundaries because I make consistent social faux paus (sp?) from potentially being on the spectrum/not being socialized properly at all as a child.
She told me today that she strongly feels that I need more intensive care (EMDR, which I've tried and don't understand). So I'm anxious that she'll think I wasn't listening or something. She asked me to reflect on some pretty intense questions, so I'm also nervous about seeing her again before I've had time to sit and think. I can act emotionally impulsive, re: reaching out during periods of splitting (borderline), so I keep feeling like "well no maybe I'm just splitting, don't waste her time." I don't want her to get overwhelmed or frustrated or disappointed with me. I don't want to make her think I'm in full crisis either because being redirected to a hospital or something is not the solution I'm looking for. But I'm realizing that I don't even know what kind of signs or red flags to look for when considering reaching out.
Tl;dr: what are some red flags or warning signs you've recognized in yourself that indicates that you need an extra session?
Thanks for reading and checking this out
Basically as the title suggests. I had a session today with my therapist and my SO for a 3 month treatment plan review. I've been bottling so much up with this therapist, scared to talk about anything, and I think I'm starting to hit my limit. The "bottle" is about to explode into a million pieces. I've been basically only laying in bed the past week or more because I'm so stressed and weighed down with keeping so much inside. I'm overall very intimidated by her energy, even though she's the nicest person.
I feel like I should request an extra appointment this week, but then I start self shaming and feeling so stupid and embarrassed/guilty for even thinking about asking. I'm under the impression that if I ask for an extra session, I have to be talking and open the whole time otherwise - why am I wasting her time? (Personal belief, not her words). I'm also worried about crossing her boundaries because I make consistent social faux paus (sp?) from potentially being on the spectrum/not being socialized properly at all as a child.
She told me today that she strongly feels that I need more intensive care (EMDR, which I've tried and don't understand). So I'm anxious that she'll think I wasn't listening or something. She asked me to reflect on some pretty intense questions, so I'm also nervous about seeing her again before I've had time to sit and think. I can act emotionally impulsive, re: reaching out during periods of splitting (borderline), so I keep feeling like "well no maybe I'm just splitting, don't waste her time." I don't want her to get overwhelmed or frustrated or disappointed with me. I don't want to make her think I'm in full crisis either because being redirected to a hospital or something is not the solution I'm looking for. But I'm realizing that I don't even know what kind of signs or red flags to look for when considering reaching out.
Tl;dr: what are some red flags or warning signs you've recognized in yourself that indicates that you need an extra session?
Thanks for reading and checking this out