How Do I Avoid An Unavoidable Trigger?

[brokencrayon]

Okay so this is a pathetic thing to be afraid of, i know. But this is quite possibly my worst trigger and i have no idea how to cope with it.

Please don't laugh, but here it is: Wheelchairs.

Like a few people on here, i was kidnapped and... well i don't like saying the word torture (call it my denial) so i'll just refer to it as abuse. i had woken up from a drug induced unconsciousness and i found my self being pushed into a pitch black room via a wheelchair. i was cuffed to the wheelchair by my left leg and right wrist. And then everything went wrong for a very long time. But the rest of what happened is not what's important right now.

i want to be able to start going out in society and doing things again, but i'm so terrified of being around wheelchairs. i can't even see them on a TV show without shaking, crying, feeling terribly unsafe and like i can't breathe.
i don't even want to know how it'd be if i see one in real life and am close to it.

What do i do guys? How can i go practically anywhere without completely breaking down? :bawling:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I have no advice. I offer you empathy and hugs for what you suffered and endured. I would deal with this in therapy. I understand that you abreact with the trigger and it mighty hard for you to endure.

I hope someone comes along soon with something concrete that can really help you.

 

[Nab4]

I have a fear of all I can do is describe them as chav like / mentally ill people from my incident.
I was scared to leave the house as I see every stranger as a threat.
I started to expose myself with someone always with me if I see someone I escape ...go down a different aisle ...cross the road etc
I avoid any situation I feel in advance may have my fears.
For you stay away from hospitals find a different path away from them.
As you do this remind yourself your in the moment and the chair is just a chair ....you will have the panic attacks but then you learn to just deal with them and you find a new path around it you gain control
I hope this helps you just plan everything in advance down to the final detail xxx

 

[SeanCharles]

@brokencrayon First and foremost, Hello and welcome to the forum!

I want to be able to start going out in society and doing things again, but i'm so terrified of being around wheelchairs.

Is there anywhere you can go where there won't be any wheelchairs? A park, anywhere? I know that there aren't a large amount of wheelchairs around my area and those that are are used by a variety of disabled individuals or hospital patients. I can empathize and definitely understand the struggle you have with this problem. It's difficult when something so strong such as this can trigger you so easily.

I can't even see them on a TV show without shaking, crying, feeling terribly unsafe and like i can't breathe. I don't even want to know how it'd be if i see one in real life and am close to it.

Are you in or do you have access to any type of therapy of any kind? There may be a way to may be eventually overcome this problem through proper professional therapy work. Eventually you can work through this trigger.

The best of luck with this, :hug:s offered

---SeanGeo

 

[scout86]

In a slightly similar situation, my T looked at me for a second and said, "You might want to find a better way of thinking of that."

Therapy is probably a good place to work on this. But, what I did was find a different way to think of the object in question. So what IS a wheelchair to you? A torture device? Something like that? Maybe the chair was really on your side the whole time, looking for a chance to wheel you to safety? Ok, maybe that sounds a little silly. But sometimes but putting a different interpretation on things and changing their meaning we can also change their impact. Your reaction it completely understandable. And sure not "pathetic". But maybe there's a better way of "understanding" that would be more useful?

Welcome to the forum, BTW!

 

[Neverthesame]

I have to say the very same thing. There really is nothing anyone else can tell you, that will help.

What I can definitely tell you is that having an everyday common object become a trigger for a traumatised person. Is not strange or unusual. I used to have the same reaction to heavy goods vehicles. Try to avoid seeing a truck on a highway.

I can tell you that therapy helps with this. It really does. The therapist will give you tools to ground you when you unexpectedly see your trigger. As well help you desensitize yourself to it, so it becomes less of a constant worry. You have remember, that in order to put huge effort into avoiding something, it must be thought of constantly or else you wouldn't notice.

Seek therapy. That is the best thing you can do for yourself.

Oh, and nothing that bothers you so terribly should be called pathetic. It is what it is. Take it seriously and deal with it seriously. I hope you find some peace.

 

[shimmerz]

Maybe the chair was really on your side the whole time, looking for a chance to wheel you to safety?

This is what I call an 'overlay'. This is a really helpful thing. It may take a bit to get to it, but somewhere you will be able to see how that wheelchair may have helped you in some situations. It may get you really angry to even attempt to think that way now, but with guidance from a T you may very well be able to switch this around.

Please don't laugh, but here it is: Wheelchairs.

Please don't feel this way. So many of us have what normal people would call 'crazy triggers'. We know they aren't crazy though. On the upside, you know why you have that trigger. Many of us have to dig for years trying to figure out why something is triggering us. I had a trigger that was a paint colour once. Flat out fainted over it. Had no idea what it was until later. It was difficult to explain that one to the people who had to pick me up off the floor at the Xmas party that night. :banghead: Ruined my social life.....:sick:

 

[brokencrayon]

Thank you to everyone for your quick and helpful responses and warm welcomes! :hug:

@SeanGeo As for if there is anywhere I can go without wheelchairs the answer is unfortunately no. I'm not even kidding that where I live wheelchairs are EVERYWHERE. They're at the grocery store, at my local restaurants, at church, at shopping centers, at movie theaters, and more! There is no place that I can go outside of my house that I know of where I will not be around some. (and I don't mean that in a paranoid way ;))

@scout86 A wheelchair is sort of like a torture device to me I guess. When I see or think of one, I feel like it's going to take me back to that room. Ha, I definitely don't see it as maybe trying to help me. It's a little chariot of death to me lol Trying to look at it in a different light though is a good idea. Unfortunately I've already tried that in a way. I've tried reasoning with myself but it hasn't worked. But I will try it closer to the way you put it, next time. Thanks! :)

 

[Whirlwind]

Geez, please don't feel bad, we all have our "things".

I suppose they call it exposure therapy but talking about it outloud with a T would be great. I said my worst, most unreasonable things (I felt) to my T and he would say things that blew my mind. LIke given what I have experienced, my reaction was totally normal.

Amazing how little things like that mean so much.

I had a certain "thing"....if I transferred it to a wheelchair, I suppose I would maybe read about how wheelchairs help, the newest technology...very "safe" detached approach to the object. Then people in a wheelchair, etc. Again, I guess its exposure therapy. Needless to say Its the object and its trigger for you is understandable.

This sounds dumb but what helped me is I decided to view my thing as "innocent" it didn't cause the problem, its not at "fault". I humanized it I guess, and felt sorry for it. its a mindless thing, it had no intent, it was used by damaged people.

Its silly but it helps me and these days I remember it but it doesn't get under my skin.

Take care, Whirlwind

 

[WildMermaid]

Oh dear, I have a feeling my input won't be welcome on this post, but I feel I must say something. I'm sorry you are dealing with this trauma. I wish you the best in recovery. Welcome to the group. For years my wheelchair symbolized my body falling apart, it meant that I was trapped in yet a another way, I had to have help a lot of the time. Then, the wheelchair became something I could no longer avoid, it became my future after 3 sad visits to specialists. I had to mourn my lost freedom and I was furious! I was angry every day for months! I resented those that could run or go where they wanted to. Without it I cannot go more than a short distance on my crutches. It is my prison and my release. My wheelchair is blue, sleek, a bit banged up, with kick ass tires, it is my freedom.

 

[Neverthesame]

My wheelchair is blue, sleek, a bit banged up, with kick ass tires, it is my freedom.

Love this. I would like that post 100 times if I could.

I had said how heavy goods vehicles are a major trigger for me. I work on a loading dock attached to a warehouse. I load and offload trailers for a living. I can't express into words how much I hated this job when I started it. Terrified me. I have to spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, inside of what I consider to be a 120,000 kilogram ballistic missile of death on wheels. Worse still, I have to talk with the people who drive these things.

8 years ago, if you had asked me what I thought every single truck driver was. My immediate answer would have been "A drunken inbred mass murderer". Ask me what one of their names was, I'd have said "It has a name?"

I don't think that way anymore. I still get very tense around the trucks. But not nearly as much as I used to. I also have yet to meet a driver that even smells a little bit of alcohol. Or whose parents were brother and sister. I also know lots of them by name. Nice guys, most of them. A few jerks here and there, but that's just life.

Almost no women in that line of work for some reason. Personally I think that needs to change, but that's something for another thread.

Anyway, the point being. One's triggers can definitely be made to not be disabling. The fear can be fought. It is hard. Damn hard. I don't know if it ever fully goes away. But it absolutely can get better. Better to a point where it does not control how you live your life.

 

[shimmerz]

I don't know if it ever fully goes away.

Not if one is talking about removing the memory. The memory can stay. The idea behind making something that activates a sufferer (changes behaviour) into a simple memory is to remove the emotion. This absolutely can be done. If not, I would be rocking in a corner in some care facility been fed porridge by an orderly. If I was lucky. About the porridge I mean. :hug: