General How Do I Bring Up Ptsd With Sufferer?

[bootz]

So my vet told me pretty up front that he had PTSD. He knew I had experience with my mom and other people in my life having combat related PTSD. Now that we've been through a "rough patch" I really wanna be able to talk to him about all the stuff I've learned on this site.

I wanna have him read or me read to him some of the stuff I've found on here. I'm hoping that the insight from 'understanding PTSD the basics' would really help him. How do I go about bringing it up? I dont wanna put him in a bad mood but at the same time I think its really important he reads it.

Also he mentioned he's going to a long term facility for treatment. Anyone know about those places?

Thanks! :)

 

[discarded]

Good luck with that one!! I can't really offer any advice as my sufferer shut me down any time I mentioned PTSD. He didn't want to know anything about it or admit he had a problem he wasn't coping with. It might depend a lot too on the timing. I am sure there are many others on here who will have some good advice. At least it sounds like he is open to treatment, that's a great start.

Best of luck!!!

 

[myvetswife]

Bootz is he open with his PTSD? And an army vet? Write him down the sister site for combat vets http:// down. He will get loads of support there and he can read a lot there aswell. I would not force him though.

 

[bootz]

Thanks to both of you for your replies. I really appreciate it!

I told him about the sister site and this one awhile ago. I just hope he's been checking them out.

 

[Nicolette]

Have you considered a less confronting option of writing a note (not a letter as it would be too overwhelming) but start with just writing down a question, giving it to him and asking him to reply when ready... that way you can gauge if the subject is totally closed or he just doesn't want personal discussions about it yet. Sometimes I have just left a note in obvious view as I left for work for the day so there was no pressure to respond immediately which me being around may inadvertently cause.

If you have nothing it take baby steps...... finding something which works is the trick if they are not in denial or totally shut down.

 

[ISupportHer]

Not to throw a wet blanket on things, I found through trial and error (and pain) that I have to be careful not to project my own expectations and goals on my wife, if that makes sense.

Not saying you don't already know this. Just saying that, over and over, I expected things to go the way I thought they should and then got frustrated when it didn't. Yes, we all can suggest resources, things we know would help, etc. But it is our loved ones that have to actually do the work.

So, for example, before I developed an awareness myself, (and I do feel I have some awareness now) I got really frustrated when SHE did not find the desire to participate here. I thought, OMG, if she were the recipient of even half of the positive resources and support I benefited from, then it would be awesome. It took a while to accept that she has to find HER way, not MY way.

I hope things go well for you. This is in no way meant to reflect negatively on your posts. LOL, sometime I just chime in.

ISH

 

[discarded]

ISH, you are so right. We gain the knowledge in hope of helping but not much point if the sufferer doesn't want to hear it or believe it. In the end it is all up to them, if they don't want our support or can't tell us how they want us to support them or even if they do want our support, there is little we can do but try to understand from their perspective. Extremely tough to handle at times (most of the time in my case).

 

[safenow]

Since your vet is going to a long term facility, they will get good support there. Lots of classes and also be allowed to learn coping skills to replace the acting out. At first, they will hate it. The doors are locked, and there are bars on the windows in the bedrooms. But once they get past that part, they can begin the work that is necessary. There are people there whom they can talk to 24/7. PTSD has no clock. One of the exercises is a trust exercise that you do outside. Lots of good things to help, if they don't fight it.


safenow

 

[James Burt]

I went to inpatient care from October until November of last year. I have a lot of insight from a military member and sufferer's perspective. I agree that things are difficult at first. I don't know how many times I heard "you get out what you put in" while I was there. It is the truth, bottom line. If he was forthcoming with the fact that he has PTSD, then you are already on a good path forward. Patience is key for the both of you throughout the entire process. I ran into some issues with my spouse upon my return because of getting all of those emotions brought forward from their hiding place. I had a lot of expectations regarding my recovery process and they weren't necessarily met. I think I should have had a bit more foresight into this and not put so much stock in it. If you can get him to discuss his feelings with you at least that will be helpful. A lot of what we go through is very personal to us and we tend to feel that nobody else can understand. I will say that going to inpatient therapy was a God send for me. Please feel free to ask me any further questions.

 

[discarded]

James, I am interested to know how long it took for you to accept your PTSD and seek help. Was there a particular catalyst to making that decision. How did you go about getting help?

 

[LizardViolet]

James, I am interested in that answer as well. I have a thread over in the Sufferer folders asking a similar question, about each person's journey to healing. I presume it is a slow and internal process, sometimes with a jump forward (or backward) -- there is a term in evolutionary biology, "punctuated equilibrium," which I suspect is analogous. I suspect it is not much like those AHA! moments shown in Hollywood movies -- except when it is.

 

[James Burt]

With my situation, I am dealing with combat and non-combat related PTSD. This stuck around for a long time and assisted in me becoming alcohol dependant. I was self-medicating with alcohol, which grew and grew as it was helping less and less. It was also taking more and more alcohol. The alcohol I sought help for by referring myself to the Army Substance Abuse Program. Luckily because of the size of the installation that I am on, my counselor asked me the hard question about what exactly it is that I am drinking for. Because of this I tried to pick apart my life and deal with what was truly going on. Downside to this is, that with drudging up all of the emotions that I was suppressing because of the PTSD, it caused me to start drinking again.

It was at this time that I made the decision to ask to go to inpatient treatment. I realized that I had to get away from everyone and everything that may be a detractor/distracter and concentrate solely on myself. This was hands down the best decision that I could have made. It was rough being in a lock down situation, but it allowed me to be in what I considered to be a "safe" environment and let out what was going on.

I would venture to guess however that the "epiphany" to get help is going to be different for everyone. When I was going through treatment, I will say that across the board it was different, and yet fundamentally the same. We had all reached a point that we could not handle our lives the way we were living.