How Do I Know When It's More Than Ideation?

[Glara]

So sort of ended it a few days ago, but has been texting a few times a day. I checked I. This morning and he seemed ok. Later I got a FB update that he was at the gun range. Tonight I texted him as usual and he didn't answer. I texted an hour later, still nothing. I texted again just a few minutes ago and told him I was really worried, but still nothing. Tomorrow is his birthday and his plans fell through. How worried should I be?

 

[Glara]

I guess I wasn't that clear in my first post. He basically told me he has a suicide plan but backed out, that was 2 weeks ago. I've been checking in on him ever since and told him I'd call a hotline if I didn't hear from him. So tonight I was worried because he wasn't answering. But he finally did, he just checked in. That's enough for me for now.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Calling a hotline AFTER you don't hear from him for awhile is like..... well, let's just say you have your order of operations in the wrong sequence. You should be calling that hotline now, not later. And I'd be a bit concerned that he's going to be shooting guns when he is in the trenches of his PTSD. I think that's a little bit more than worrisome.

He's holding you emotionally hostage. Why put up with that?

 

[scout86]

In answer to the question you asked in your title, you may NOT have a way to know that. Unless you're a real mind reader. If someone REALLY wants to kill themselves and is serious about succeeding, why would they tell you? They won't. The whole issue it too complicated for a well intentioned amateur, such as yourself, to have to feel responsible for. It sounds like he really needs to be in a situation that's safer until he gets things more stabilized.

 

[Wounded Scribe]

On a scale of 1-10, it's a 15. Plan, access to a firearm, issue's why he's had a plan, weren't addressed, you didn't mention he was placed in a mental health unit for care. This is a serious, emergent situation, if after reading this, you still haven't been able to raise him, call the police ASAP so they can check on him. He needs to go to the hospital. I am speaking from experience. It's starts with thoughts, it leads to shows of suicide attempts, cries for help, it leads to plans, and finally, resolution. Even, if you get him on the phone and he appears okay, cheerful, calm etc...no. He needs to go. Because if he calms across, calm, suddenly, this is the eye of the storm. Please, get him help.

ETA: Please, I can not stress this enough. If you are unable to raise him on the phone, do not, do not, yourself go to look for him. If he's in the throws of a crisis, in that moment, he's not thinking clearly, and it's unsafe. If his norm, is to respond to your texts...something is wrong. Never, second guess your intuition. Please keep us posted.

 

[Friday]

Unless the only place he has access to firearms is the range... I usually take heading to the range as a good sign. It's around other people (that you don't wanna be looking squirrelly around, cause they pick up on that fast), it lowers heart & breath rates, requires concentration, exercises a skill/ there's a feeling of competency. Even if it is just paper. The range is a happy place. For me. Not for everyone. But my knee-jerk response is to judge others by myself ;) So when I have a friend with SI, but who is also prior military or LEO, going to the range? I usually smile and relax. Ahhhh. Good on yah.

 

[Glara]

He did answer after a few hours. He has his own guns at home. It was 2 weeks ago he said he thought about it but didn't go through with it. He is in therapy. Yesterday when he posted he was at the gun range, it scared me.