How Do I Make The Best Of This Situation?

[Teller]

The University I attend has essentially graduate students as counselors, they work as interns as part of their clinical training, it is all supervised by legit psychologists.

However, there are a few issues to this for me:

1. My "Therapist" changes every semester. Every 2 months or so I have to switched based off the interns schedule. Obvious problems with forming trusting bonds (or whatever). And everytime, I nearly have to start over with relaying information and never get very far into finding solutions. And like PTSD, this causes me to relive the same nonsense over and over and over and over again, making everything I feel less progressive and more painful. I am quite drained.

2. The training requires a videocamera to record the session. Granted my past experiences, I am uncomfortable being recorded. And, I have no idea who the heck else is seeing me twiddle my thumbs avoiding actual topics while the intern parrots lines from yesterdays class notes on proper technique to get a patient to "open up". I do know some recorded sessions are used in lectures.

3. I am glad to help students learn to be good practicioners. However, as it stands, I am getting worse (and am going to say so). I have no funds or insurence to pay for counseling outside of my school which gives 40 "free" sessions. So I feel delayed in getting over things that are drastically impairing me.

I feel the things I need to deal with go beyond what most these interns are prepared for. I want to help with their clinical study but want to actually benefit besides feeling like I have done community service.

Thoughts? Questions? Snide remarks?

 

[ronin47]

That's the exact same boat I'm in. I depend upon the Wellness Center at my university for my mental health treatment. I have had three different therapists since the beginning of 2009, all of which have been clinical psychology interns finishing up their doctoral degrees. Though, all three of them already had their master's degrees. The care I recieved from them was infinitely better than anything I'd ever gotten before. I also had the same one each academic year. Is there a way for you to request the same intern? The way it works at my university is if someone wants to just "drop in" for a session or two they are usually assigned to interns, but interns are allowed to have long term clients. The first time I went into the counseling services I wasn't really sure what to expect so I just went along with it when they gave me to an intern. That intern basically snatched me up when he realized how much I was strugging and at the end of the year he took me to meet his supervisor to discuss continuing treatment the following year. She picked an intern from the incoming pool that she felt would suit me best based on her observence of my sessions with that first intern. That way while I had three different therapists they all had the same supervisor/instructor so there was at least some continuity.

I would suggest asking your current therapist if you could meet with his/her supervisor. That way you could not only request meeting the same intern for an extended period of time but you could see in person the person viewing the videos of your sessions which might put your mind at ease somewhat. Just seeing the person face to face might reduce some of that anxiety and fear of opening up because at least you know who the person is. You may even go so far as to ask about seeing one of the "legit" therapists. As I mentioned, usually if a student at my school wants to see one of the fully certified psychologists they need to request on specifically.

Hope it all works out!

 

[Teller]

This is extremely helpful and consoling. I was worried no one would have a clue what gibberish I was spouting.

Every semester the intern changes due to whenever their contract runs out. It may be partially my fault for not providing better schedule details and not actively pursing better options. The supervisor idea is straightforward, which I appreciate, but its the wording of achieving this I find cumbersome and I can be insecure in appealing to people in positions of power within a buracracy. "Can I talk to your supervisor?" all seems to depend on tone of voice. It can come off as yuppie-ish, needy, demanding, or it might make me feel like I am BFFs with Ferris Bueller. Now I do think I will take my chances with this idea. Thanks.

Its unfortunate that you are in a very similar situation. Even with the flaws beyond out control, it is better than not going? It feels to me like I at least have gained a sense of agency over an out of control problem even though I also feel I am becoming worse symptom-wise.

Thanks for the thoughtful response. Rodin87

 

[Teller]

*ronin47

Sorry! Spelling=hate.

 

[Spero3]

Teller,

I think if you tell your counselor why you want to talk to their supervisor (that you are having a hard time constantly being switched and feeling like you are worse and that it has nothing to do with them personally), I can't imagine they will have a hard time with it. If they do, then they shouldn't be a counselor!

Spero

 

[Lionheart]

I was "lucky' enough to receive disability benefits for my PTSD, so that medicare pays for my therapy, but I was once in the same boat as you. When I was going to the universities department of family studies they changed therapists every semester, videotaped the sessions etc and I felt like I was spinning my wheels and getting nowhere fast. I never told their supervisor but I agree this is probably what you should do so that you are getting the help you need. Please keep us informed and let us know how it goes for you. I would be interested to know how they handle the situation and I wish you the best of luck with it!!!

 

[ronin47]

Its unfortunate that you are in a very similar situation. Even with the flaws beyond out control, it is better than not going?

Yes, beyond a shadow of a doubt, it is unequivocaly better than not going. I do not regret it in the least.

Is there a receptionist where you go? You could just ask him/her if you could speak to your T's supervisor if you're not comfortable with asking the intern. It wouldn't be an odd thing to do at all.

 

[BlueKitty]

Wow, Thank you ronin47, Teller, and Lionheart777!!

I was thinking of seeking help once the Fall semester starts at my uni as well, for the first time, and I wasn't aware of such possible issues. Now I can be better prepared and know what to expect :)

 

[SimplyComplex]

Sounds so not ideal! I am sorry you have to go through that, but a huge pat on the back for keeping at it. It shows a real desire to heal to go through that revolving door. I think it took me 9 months (thats like 36 sessions) to stop thinking my T was going to toss me out of the room if I said the wrong thing. So I am really impressed with your resilience by going back to new ones every couple months.

That said, to avoid trauma of retelling and getting them up to speed, is there any way you could communicate your own history (not just your file) ahead of time through a brief letter or essay, or a telling journal entry?

Is there anything you could do that would keep continuity on your part, like journaling in a particular way? Maybe creating a time line?

These were just a couple quick thoughts from the outside. Again, kudos to you for your dedication. I have my fingers crossed for you that you will soon be able to settle in with a good therapist for a long time.

 

[Teller]

All great ideas. I plan on doing the supervisor thing, but probably not until september once things simmer down between travel and summer finals and blah blah blah.

Its good to know that I am not the only creature on the earth with such needless and picky frustrations. Its just so much easier to adapt and make something work.

And the keeping record thing. I thought of that, though I am not sure if I want something like a journal or a timeline lying around, you know? I was taught from some shadier characters that you never submit anything in writing. I tend to follow this as well and its served me decently. And the sort if stuff to be logged is beyond delicate information. Anyone who has the trust and capability to make such a thing (like some of the public journals here) are quite admirable for me. Its difficult to absorb that these are not things to be ashamed of and as far as I can tell no one can get "in trouble" for it. Didn't you guys hate when you'd write something privately in a notebook in school and the teacher would nose into it and ask questions? I can't be the only one. It was like friggin Harriet the Spy.

And Simplycomplex, your last words are very kind, though I kept a small smile, my shoulders and head definately dropped a bit. Ah, the mix of well, simply complex words "settle in"=comfort, potentially vulnerable, quiet for awhile. "with"=new person, use of energy to establish, maintain. "For a long time"=realization of actual process, probably accurate, weariness. I kinda want to thank you for a subtle awakening to what is ahead and that I am denying that reality. Weird. Thanks.

 

[SimplyComplex]

Just comment on the not wanting to keep things in writing...totally understand. I was terrified to write things down, and in the early days of therapy, I even destroyed a bunch of what I wrote (journaling was an assignment from my t). My mind was never allowed to be a private place, let alone a journal when I was growing up. But it has been, by far, the top reason for my strides in recovery. And sharing them with my T from time to time is highly anxiety producing, but...if I write the truth, and I write what feels good and honest to me, where is the harm in that? When I let her in, I heal a bit more each time.

You can think of it this way too, they are writing about you and keeping it and passing it on to the new T. You might as well have your say in there...who knows you better? T of the semester, or you?

 

[BlueKitty]

SimplyComplex,

Today, I had an urge to destroy what I had written two days ago, which was basically a review of my life happenings. Took several hours to write it. After reading what you have just written, I am restraining myself from it for now. But I am still scared that someone might discover it - let it be my mistake or someone snooping. I had bad experiences with journals(frankly, privacy in general). Sounds like you had similar concerns. How did you get over the fear?