How do I respond to people who ask what I do for a living?

[Vox]

I'm 100% disabled and i cannot think of a response to this question without telling them I have PTSD. Anyone know a way to gracefully and quickly answer with a vague response?

 

[blackemerald1]

For me... it's entirely dependent on who is asking, why they are asking and my perception of how they will cope if I disclose my ptsd to them.

So if they tick all of the boxes... which has never happened so far.... I suppose I would tell them.

But since it hasn't happened... I say things like I've retired, I'm a self-funded retiree, I do contract work lol....

I've changed the subject completely.

I've said, 'Not much lately... what do you do...?? (bc ppl do like to talk about themselves) and then I follow it up with asking if they have kids, where they live etc etc and eventually they lose track of that question that I do not want to answer.

If however they do persist I excuse myself away from the person... bathroom, look at watch, oh forgot got to make a call, etc etc and I remove myself.

I've not said, 'I don't want to say'. bc that is going to elicit a response that is even more difficult to navigate with certain types of ppl.

I've been doing this 'side-step' routine for years and it's worked so far.

My only purpose for not telling a person that I've got ptsd and what I currently do to fill my days is bc it's not their business. There is a stigma associated with mental illness and in the past I've paid a very high price for allowing ppl into my life and telling them the truth.

I don't know if that's very helpful or not @Vox but mainly please be careful who you divulge sensitive medical information to... and this certainly includes ptsd.

 

[Lionheart]

I am disabled and have the same problem, but I tell folks that I am "medically retired." If they ask more questions I can usually stop them by telling them that I don't want to talk about it. Hope this helps.

Lionheart

 

[flowerapple]

Maybe, you can try telling them that you're just in between jobs at the moment.

Or, you can say that you're currently considering a career switch, where you have left your old job as you weren't feeling fulfilled by it, and so you are currently trying to figure out what it is you truly want, so that's why you don't have a job at the moment.

Or you can say that you do casual work, so your work varies by the job, and the days vary as it isn't everyday that you are needed to come in, so that's why you have so much 'free time'.

 

[Friday]

I’m Batman. :sneaky:

 

[blackemerald1]

I’m Batman.

and when they say "I'm Robin".... :hilarious: :oops:

 

[Ronin]

Everyone knows Batman isn't reaal, though.

... I'm supossed to say that, being Green Arrow, & all.

(Seriously though, that's my go to line, in variants.)

 

[somerandomguy]

Long ago when I asked someone what they did for a living, they just answered "Why?" That shut me up real quick. It also made me feel like a huge asshole for asking, so, you know, maybe only use on people you never want to talk to again.

 

[Freida]

If I'm feeling snarky....i'm independently wealthy and retired early. What did I do? A little of this, a little of that and some other stuff

If I'm feeling cooperative? I'm in between jobs right now. Which is technically true. No one knows if I'll work again so

 

[blackemerald1]

Yeah well ... when Batman.. I mean Friday, Robin and you Arrow.. I mean Ronin uhum.. I reveal that I am Canary ... :) no not a bird! but shoosh... :hilarious: :oops:

Are there any other forum members out there who want to disclose their true identities/occupations?? lol :sorry: off thread.. :)

 

[Mach123]

Nobody's business. It's submissive to feel you have to provide details about your personal life, you don't. It feels defensive like a boundary violation.

I've felt all that. And while I was feeling all that I actually had a full time job so where was the shame coming from? I had an answer so why was I cowed by this question?

My answer applies to me only but I don't mind saying to anyone that feels squeamish about this just make something up. Have it ready like you could even carry a card and just hand it to people (sorry little humor). : )

 

[Justmehere]

I have told people I’m between things or “my income comes from the government but that’s boring...” then I jump right into asking them what is their favorite concert experience/book/thing they have seen on a screen lately.

Usually people are just trying to make small talk and think that people who ask interesting questions about themselves are awesome. Sometimes I pretend like I didn’t hear the question and just jump to asking them a question myself. There are so many get to know you questions that are way more interesting than what people do for a living that some people almost seem relieved themselves. There are cool lists online with “ice breaker” or get to know you types of questions.

At the end of the day, the people that really matter, will be able to handle the answer of being on disability.