How Do We Fight Without Self Worth?

[Muted]

I still struggle with falling into that pattern of having approval from others, but therapy has helped me a lot in that area.

Hang in there @lonelyone82 and @Punky143 ...

 

[Friday]

Why would you need self worth in order to fight?

 

[Rani G2]

Friday, good question.

I have a similar problem when it comes to standing up to myself.

For an example: There is a part of me, which dislikes wanting“others to like me, or the trying to make me small and apologetic, so that others are forgiving“. So, I act as if I am strong, I try (Not always happening) To appear strong and proud.

Then again, I feel the need to be self critical because I fear, that someday, someone will see my true colours.

Urghhhh

 

[anonymous]

Why would you need self worth in order to fight

Because fighting for something you don't believe in is a lot harder than fighting for something you do.

(I'm reading the fight in this instance to refer to the fight for yourself and your own life/quality of life)

 

[digger]

^^^sorry, anonymous thumbs strike again^^^

 

[Cannottakethis]

Why would you need self worth in order to fight?

IMO, without self-worth, you have no purpose in fighting. You won't fight for yourself or anything you care about. Nothing seems worth it. 2 DV relationships taught me that. You (or I, anyway),just give up.

 

[Havoc Still]

@Punky143 I too struggle with self-worth issues so I read you loud and clear. To...

You explained my feelings perfectly. I couldn't have said it better. CPTSD is a long, hard battle with so many ups and downs. And we are so hard on ourselves which makes progress slower. It is such a painful experience and some days I wonder if I'll get thru it. I do have a wonderful therapist, thank God. Some days I truly ache for moments of peace.
Thanks for your post. I understand!

 

[Friday]

Because fighting for something you don't believe in is a lot harder than fighting for something you do.

<grin> Well that's some good news! :D Shit might just get easier, someday. Easier than I knew it could be, anyway. Go figure. Love good news.

Nothing seems worth it. 2 DV relationships taught me that.

Ironic. DV is what taught me to fight for myself. Before that I'd fight for anyone else, but if it was just me, no point to it. Well. Rarely any point to it. Had to be someone else around. Or memories of them.

@Punky143

Futures forever away, though, and worrying about the now... I fight for a lot of different reasons. Self worth ain't on the list. Dignity, neither. Can't really remember the last time I had either. Pride, sometimes. That's probably the closest to self worth & dignity, but still a universe away. Pride in my work, in who I'm with, or whom I represent, as examples. But that's icing. An excuse to feel good, or a reason to dig deep, pride. Not necessary. Just a niceness. Done a helluva lot of things I'm not proud of. Take no pride in. Still needed doing. Pride is bonus. It's not often doing the right thing also feels good. Usually hurts like a sonnuvabitch.

Why do I fight without dignity or self worth?

Duty. Debts. Promises. Force of habit. Boredom. Curiosity. To learn how. To teach how. To learn better. Because I'm annoyed with myself. Because I'm frustrated with myself. Because I'm furious with myself. Because I hate myself. Because I'm determined to do better. Be better. Be stronger.

Probably a few other things, as well. Those are the most persistent, I think.

Also love.

That one cuts the deepest, though. I prefer not to be motivated by that one.

 

[D2Life]

I understand what you're saying @lonelyone82 , if you can please consider this... if...

Great words and very true. As the carer for my husband....an epiphany came for me when I suddenly recognised that my sense of identity and self-worth was completely buried in my identity as wife. Sure I AM a wife - but that shouldn't be my sole source of identity. I have my own. Can't believe it took almost 22 years to figure that out? A BIG part of that of course being driven by a sense of living up to society expectations of what a wife should be like...blah.