How Do You Combat Lonliness?

[falling_wave]

How do you all deal with the feeling of lonliness? I have it a lot but work and school keep me connected enough that it really doesn't bother me too much during the week but when I have nothing to do and no one to call or spend time with on the weekend it really seems to get to me. I see people come and go but no real connection to satisfy that need for meaningful communication. I can't even think of anything to do outside the house but I'm miserable being home. Can anyone relate?

 

[Karen12]

Do you have any pets, especially warm fuzzy ones?

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Yeah, a lot... Homestuck introvert...

I basically don't socialize. I don't know how, fear of abandonement prevents me from even trying, I simply gave up. My social skills seem to be still on the old system, from years ago. Stuck on those times :cry: My fragile mind...

I'm lost in socialization... Messy currently... Uh, can't write replies.

 

[ms spock]

What about helping out some other people by volunteering? Do a couple of hours at a soup kitchen on Saturday morning and Sunday morning. Then you have contact and you are doing something with a purpose.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Yes I certainly can relate. I am doing more and more in the week, but still the social side of things alludes me. It is crippling, the loneliness when I stop. I wrote the other day, I am like Lydia in Fischer King, the whole social thing. I am the one rearranging the canopies and going home feeling like I want to die. It has got more lonely even though I am doing more stuff, because I have this semi social thing now, I can interact and put on the façade for all the people I am dealing with and talking to, medical people, uni, school teachers, mums at school, even my so called few friends. But not one of them I can call when I am down and alone. Keep busy that is all, because if you stop you go downhill. It is terrifying.

Worse thing I can do is stay at home and be alone. But then the stuff I do outside the house is still me alone, just I am busy. I come home and feel even more alone.

 

[Hansgrohe]

Oooh, I know this feeling. I've never really had many stable personal friendships (at least not since elementary school) because of a lot of factors.

One thing that has somewhat helped me was finding some pen-pals. There are various pen-pal sites that you can google and set up a profile. What I like about pen-pals is that the discussion tends to be a lot more "on point" and there is a lot less judgement going on because it's not face to face. You find new friends, and you actually get to discuss ideas you care about. Overall, it's helped me a lot. I actually feel cared for.

 

[falling_wave]

Maybe I will start volunteering. The only reason I haven't done that is because then if something social actually did come up I would have to say no. I finally got out because I felt like I was really starting to spiral downward. I just walked around the mall kind of in a fog from the emotional isolation building up. It really didn't help socially but I think walking around there was good. I can't wait to go to sleep and have a fresh day tomorrow.

 

[SeaDigital]

I basically don't socialize. I don't know how, fear of abandonement prevents me from even trying, I simply gave up. My social skills seem to be still on the old system, from years ago.

Well, okay. I just met my doppelganger. :) Wow, sounds like me!

Except, I'm unsure if it's fear of abandonment or just that I don't see the point in making friends and I'm as cynical as they come. Nor am I trusting and also think they have alternative agenda's. Maybe I feel like people are threats more than helpers so best to be alone?

 

[Jon Decker]

I can definitely relate to what you're going through. When I started my business I was outside and people called me the Pope of the neighborhood, but people didn't know I was suffering with my anxiety badly. When I was able to run my business from my home I embraced this, too much so. I began to yearn for more engagement and to be outside more/have a reason to be outside more. I like the idea of giving myself "fun" things "I want to do" to be outside more/be with people. Like:

• I like taking photographs so I'm purchasing a cool camera for work and play purposes.
• I like watching MMA with people so I've started to invite people over to watch it.
• I want to get in shape so I'll be going to a gym and would like to invite some of my co-workers to join me.

What are things you would enjoy doing with others inside or outside?

 

[falling_wave]

I like to read, walk outdoors, go out for a glass of wine, watch movies, and swim. I do all this stuff. I even started a work book club during the week. Maybe I'll start asking people to do some of this though on the weekend. I don't feel like I have very many people to ask but I'll try branching out. I am feeling much better today. Btw I took 2 hylands nerve tonic capsules last night when I was struggling. It was the pill form not the melt under your tongue. It amazed me because I think it worked as well as xanax and I suddenly just felt better. It's worth sharing. :)

 

[Jon Decker]

Hey @falling_wave That's an awesome list of things you like to do and starting in your inner circle sounds awesome and I bet that will lead to more people too! Interesting on the nerve tonic capsules and that's something prescribed? Glad you're feeling better!

 

[falling_wave]

No the nerve tonic is all natural herbal and I got it at walmart.