Poll How Do You Cry?

[Natalia]

I usually try to be alone when I feel like crying. I don't like to make scenes and I don't like the look on people's faces when they see me cry. Unfortunately I can't always do that and I just burst into tears, no matter if I'm alone or with dozens of people surrounding me. And I cry loudly and uncontrollably. With hiccups and respiratory problems. It usually ends up with me not having any more tears left for many months. And then, one day, here comes the thing that will make me lose it again... I haven't determined a pattern for this yet, though I'm sure there is one. But I don't feel I'm up to digging inside of me right now.
When I was in high school, I used to cry on a daily basis. When evening came, I would just lie in bed and think of things to make me cry. That helped me cope with the coming of another day, it kept me going. Unfortunately, at some point I have lost my ability to have a good cry like that. I just have episodes that hit me when I least expect them to...

 

[jesse]

I very rarely cry maybe once every two years. When I do cry I can't control it I just keep crying no matter where I am and will continue to cry for hours. I hate it but seem to have no control of if or when it happens. One exception is that when I see someone I love cry I usually do too (funerals for example).
Jesse

 

[Rainbow Socks]

Depends where I am & how upset I am. If I'm outdoors I cry silently because I'm terrified of people noticing. If I'm at home I can get quite loud, unless I'm hiding in the toilet or something so that my family doesn't notice.

 

[jewel]

I am numb. I cried in the beginning of my trauma. My T recently got me to cry some more about it but other than that, I am as put together as a cld stone statue...no feeling.

 

[Reclusive]

I cry silently unless it's really bad. My dad also would yell at me when I cried, so I learned to keep it to myself. What a trend, huh? When I really lose it, I make really awful noises and things get really messy. And then I get a migraine.

 

[TEL]

There was a time when I didn't cry for many years.
Finally, when I did cry, I couldn't stop for many years.
Now I don't cry everyday when I first wake up, like I used to.
But I feel alot of grief still

 

[Tinyflame]

I never cried for many years and only with some traumas, exclusively in private unless on rare occassions I coudn't help it.
I made myself never cry as a child.
I'm afraid if it started it wouldn't stop- would flood the world. I've had that experience, too.
I never cry with physical pain, and I am so removed from my tears that the other day I realized that was happening and I didn't even 'know'. I 'cried' too once lately over emotional pain and same thing- didn't even 'know' (thought there must be something in my eyes).
Now out of the blue something 'small' can set me off, or feeling badly for others, but I'd never let anyone see.
I've cried 'happy tears' before and oddly they feel wonderful :)

 

[anni]

Same, Junebug. It never occured to me before but I never cry with physical pain- it's never occured to me to do so, like it's not even an option, seriously! Huh. Insert baffled emoticon here. :confused: I'll never, ever, ever do it in front of anyone either- as in ever, except the poor husband if there's a meltdown then whew-it doesn't stop.Rare though, since I disallow that mostly. The closest I'll come is mentioning past-tense here it's happened at all, or sometimes something HERE gets me. I really, really like that. It means something here is awfully healthy in my head so gets allowed. Happy crying seems to be an entirely different event, as different as eating and sleeping-not even connected, just things which the body does seperately.

 

[AngelaMarie]

I am still afraid to make a sound when I cry. I remember being ridiculed about crying and told I didn't have the right. I also remember a few times that I cried with my family around they just ignored me. I still don't feel I have the right to have emotions of my own, that I am stupid for feeling hurt.

 

[TEL]

Cry, cry, cry. Its okay to cry. Took me a long time to know why.
Jesus wept. And so do I.

 

[Heather]

I used to never be able to cry. I would never, ever cry in therapy. NO WAY. I stuffed back the tears for years and years. Now it just comes pouring out. Anything to do with loss....forget it I'm a mess. If Steel Magnolias comes on I'm a wreck for the rest of the night.

I can now cry in therapy. My poor therapist. I think I make him uncomfortable sometimes especially when I'm sobbing uncontrollably....he doesn't know what to do with me. I hate feeling it. That's why I've spent the last two years avoiding.

 

[Bella T Walters]

I also had an aversion to crying, simply I didn't feel that I deserved to cry or if I started I wouldn't stop. I have always been the friend to have someone cry on my shoulder and tell me their problems. Even when I do cry, at least for the last few years, the tears felt more like my body was just bloated from head to toe and my eyes held the most moisture. When I started to question my tears, I switched to bawling my brains out in private and only in my car. It is weird and I tell you if my friends have the pleasure of seeing me cry in their presence...they laugh. Not in a bad way at all, but it is something I try to hard not to show, they laugh because they really know how hard it is for me to cry in front of them, so we have a good laugh.

And as for the T and his feelings, I long ago decided HELL, I pay you to listen to my shit so if tears are a part of it, too bad. It is funny once I started that, I found therapy became more useful to me, and I started to let go of the stigma I had with being a PERSON in therapy.

Tears can be quite liberating, so much so that I too decided my nose deserved really good kleenex and began to allow myself to love myself again.