Other How Do You Deal With "creepy" People?

[I_Am_Titanium]

This is really interesting. Thank you to those for commenting about this from the "creepy" person's point of view. I can see now from the other point of view how confusing it could be for them. I've been discussing this with my friends, both men and women, and they have some ideas about it. The person I was referring to may just be socially awkward. I've noticed he tends to stand way too close for my comfort and I feel very uncomfortable, probably because of my past issues with abuse. I really hate when anyone (regardless of gender) stands way too close to me, like a few inches from me. I also find myself feeling very uncomfortable when a man seems to single me out and seems overly friendly, not professional, to me. My warning bells go off. Again, it could be he means nothing untoward by it and I feel how I feel due to the past abuse. This uncomfortable feeling translates into "creepy" for me. I work with a lot of men given the industry I work in but I don't normally get a creepy vibe from them. So far, only three in my entire 20 year career so far for whatever reason. I am getting better about increasing the distance for my comfort while trying to be polite and professional.

 

[PointlessExistence]

While it is nice to empathize with how we socially awkward may feel, the standing too close and singling you out should be taken as warning bells, and I regret if I have led you to doubt them.

With your initial post, he seemed absolutely harmless, but at the same time I always believe one's first credo should always be "stay safe". So even though I vigorously gave his (possible) point-of-view, I really wasn't as invested in my stance as it might have seemed. And now that you've shed some more light, my reply original reply should be totally dismissed.

 

[Kintsugi]

The fact that this feeling has persisted for so long is significant IMO. I work with someone who everyone half-jests is a serial killer or a psycho. I've worked with him for about 5 months now. He's... really strange, no denying it, and I do think he has several screws that are clinically loose. I think under the right circumstances, he could be dangerous, but mostly I think he's just really weird and has a lot of unchecked social, cognitive, and emotional problems. It took me a couple of months to come up with that assessment, and the formation of my opinion is ongoing.

Conversely, I have worked with some people in the past who just seriously set off my internal danger alarms consistently, even though there was nothing reeeally solid I could point to, and all of those people have either been fired for something serious or are actively under investigation for harassment.

All that to say that years is a really long time to get a bad vibe. Listen to your gut and minimize contact. And don't feel guilty. Some people think I'm a straight up bitch. Usually they change their minds when they get to really know me. But for those who don't, as Reel Big Fish sings, "Somebody hates me and I hate somebody too!"

 

[I_Am_Titanium]

@PointlessExistence Thanks. I wouldn't dismiss your original post. It's good to think and see from other points of view regardless.