How Do You Deal With Hypocrites?

[macbeth]

Sometimes we need to cry too Jess. It's ok to let it out. You are certainly not lacking.

 

[fly away home]

Just thinking jess. It's been almost seven years since this guy advised you against an Internet relationship, that's if I've got the story right. Do you think perhaps he has simply changed his view in that time?

I'm not excusing his behavior or the way he treated you. That was totally unacceptable. But just thinking if you can give him the grace to change his mind and grow up a little. This may also give you a chance to forgive yourself for past indiscretions. Falling for the wrong guy is just another lesson to learn on who the right guy might be. You know what to avoid and that's a good thing.

Please don't feel that I am diminishing what hurt you must have felt then and are feeling now. Just offering a hand so you can step back from the hurt and see things without getting caught up in the deep emotions you are feeling right now.

Take care.

 

[J_trustno1]

Thanks @fly away home . Well, this so called friend removed me from his facebook list year and then he was sending me texts anonymously and behaving exactly like he did 7 yrs ago when he always thought of me as an idiot! His behavior towards me was exactly the same as it was 7 yrs ago. I doubt he has changed. He was irritating in the texts and when I guessed who he was he asked me why I asked his name when I knew who it was. Then he went back to old game of passing me into guilt trips and making feel as if I am always wrong in making my life decisions. I seriously doubt his ability to change to be honest! He behavior has been consistent till now. He has this fake display of his superiority and showing off.

 

[ghotiff]

I feel I will be seeing my abusers making a victory my failure

I know this feeling, but you are a beautiful and supportive person. The most important thing a person can do is impact others in a positive way. Society does not measure this as 'success' but they should, it is what actually counts.

 

[ghotiff]

I have found that hypocrites typically 'project'. This means that their criticisms of you are actually criticisms of themselves that they aren't able to face directly...so they face them by placing those faults onto others. I had a 'projector' in my life so I did a lot of work understanding 'projection'. Once I understood it, it really helped me to take a step back from their criticism and see it for what it actually was....which was - Nothing to do with ME.

Psychological projection is the act or technique of defending oneself against unpleasant impulses by denying their existence in oneself, while attributing them to others.[1] For example, a person who is rude may constantly accuse other people of being rude

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Jess you are a lovely strong person. We all need to cry hunny so take your time and have a good cry.

We are all here for you and will.still be here when you are feeling better.

:hug:s and :)

You take care Jess xx
Santa Laurie

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Jess, again, please look into CBT. All of your threads have a common theme where you are overly affected by the thoughts in your head.

I know you're trying to move forward by getting a job, moving out, etc with the hopes of going to therapy LATER. But, there are so many things you can do right now to help yourself so that moving out and getting a job is easier to navigate your way through.

 

[Go Hungry]

Wow. At first I just thought that maybe the guy had simply changed his mind over the years. But that stalking and harassment that you talked about is simply terrible. Block his number and forget the jerk. If you can't block it just delete the messages as they come in without reading them. As time goes by and you never respond, he'll eventually go on to other prey.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I really want to cry atm

I seriously doubt his ability to change tbh!

Jess, can you please keep in mind that this is not text messaging? I have no idea what 'atm' means other then the machine you get money out of, tried googleing it and I would rather not think about the slang I found. Can you please tell me what 'atm' means to you? 'tbh' is pretty straight forward but not usually the abbreviation I hear on the forum. Normally it is 'IMHO' [in my honest opinion], which is allowed.

Please keep that in mind when you are posting, along with capitalizing your I's, you are missing a few in a few of your posts. Just something to keep in mind when posting.

Thank you.

 

[Go Hungry]

It means 'at the moment'. ;)

 

[ghotiff]

I thought IMHO meant. In my humble opinion :)

 

[billie]

CBT is a great start. Don't be afraid to make that first step my freind. Nothing will change if you wait for answers to come to you hun. I know yoh can do it. (((Hugs))).