Meadowsweet
Diamond Member
Lucille, I think trauma itself is often surrounded by complex circumstances that make the way we experience it very individual. Because of this, I think healing of those relationships is very personal too.
I think along the way, you have to weigh up what you want or expect the relationship to be like and how realistic those expectations are. And weigh this up alongside the effect that trying to build that relationship has on your mental, physical and emotional health.
Also, its ok to set your own boundaries and to change them as you or the relationship changes. But it can help to listen to others boundaries too - not to be dictated to, but to find a compromise, for example, if someone doesn't want you to talk about abuse in one moment, tell them its something you need to do and ask them to make a time that suits them. That last bit of advice is something that the intensity of ptsd symptoms can make very difficult. If I try to talk about abuse, my anxiety is already extreme and I can't be rational or judge how the other person is responding.
I think along the way, you have to weigh up what you want or expect the relationship to be like and how realistic those expectations are. And weigh this up alongside the effect that trying to build that relationship has on your mental, physical and emotional health.
Also, its ok to set your own boundaries and to change them as you or the relationship changes. But it can help to listen to others boundaries too - not to be dictated to, but to find a compromise, for example, if someone doesn't want you to talk about abuse in one moment, tell them its something you need to do and ask them to make a time that suits them. That last bit of advice is something that the intensity of ptsd symptoms can make very difficult. If I try to talk about abuse, my anxiety is already extreme and I can't be rational or judge how the other person is responding.
