How do you do it ?!

[NewGirl280]

How do you all navigate going from weekly appointments to bi-weekly or less?

A little background - I was initially going bi-weekly. I wasn’t sure I was where I should be (therapy versus medical diagnoses) and not sure if I believed in the process. Long story short - biweekly was not enough. Too much was occurring throughout the weeks. I stressed too much about upcoming appointments. I was getting greatly needed relief from my visits and the tools I was learning. But I couldn’t be all in with just twice a month visits. Weekly appointments fixed all of that. I FINALLY felt more comfortable. Finally felt safe in the office. Trusted the process. And the methods were working. YAY!

All in all I am trending SO MUCH BETTER than I was before. I have setbacks (some big ones) but I am so thankful to be getting my life back.

Well - insurance informed me I have three visits left. I had previously discussed this with the person I see who said we could request reauthorizarion, I can pay out of pocket etc. I am willing to do any and ALL of the above.

Fast forward to my appointment today. I’m doing well this week and successfully worked through the minor hiccups of the week. Was having a good appointment when probably 3/4 of the way through something got to me and I started to get a little panicy :(

This was a first. I tried to figure out how to tell her. Then I figured our time was dwindling. And then it was time to wrap up. Phew! I let her know about the appointments and asked her advice on what her opinion was on frequency of my visits(should we try to re-authorize or space visits out basically). She thought going back to every other week would be good, and she held my spot just in case I needed it. She’s very supportive of whatever I think I need (I usually just don’t know).

Perfect, right ?! Best of both worlds. Nope. Cue the emotions/increased panic. I think I mostly kept it together while I planned my escape from the office. Bottom line - I’m a bit terrified! I’m excited to try And get through two weeks. That would be a great accomplishment. That’s a testament to where I’m at. I’m also trrrified that A. Simply overthinking this might cause a hiccup. B. TWO WEEKS if I’m not doing well ? That’s a long time. C. Connection is hard for me. I do think it will be hard for me to go back and be comfortable after two weeks. BUT, I DO want to try. The goal is to not need to go eventually! D. I am almost two weeks off of medication after a slow and painful wean. I’m already more edgy as a result.

There’s a good chance this will go great. I could have a good two weeks and come ready to work at my next appointment. It just feels scary right now. 14 days.

Sooo - what do you all do during the weaning process ?!

*I am also super glad that this is anonymous - and that I can process these crazy things with others who might get it. Just typing that out made me feel better (and silly!).

 

[hithere]

If not ready for bi-weekly, I advocate for weekly. If I need twice a week, I advocate for twice a week. The interuptions are good for tolerating painful emotions practice. I too struggle with connection and the interuptions of two weeks interupts good work and then it takes time for me to rebuild the connection. If there is an interuption I allow myself to really, really want to talk to my therapist and not fight it. allow myself to have positive feelings for my therapist and not fight it. For my young parts, I let them write a letter, or paint a picture, or color a children's coloring book picture for the therapist. Do inner work. If Im feeling down allow myself to stay in bed. Take my younger parts on an excursion of their choice; maybe a children's museum, children's library\bookstore, nature center, zoo. Right now I got lucky and my T let's me send a short email and the T will eventually respond, and this keeps me feeling connected. However, I know some therapist would never allow that. I think it helps me keep connected so I have less time in the session spent re-connecting.

 

[NewGirl280]

Good advice ! Posting here was sort of my letter - but I also wrote notes in my phone of what happened and how I processed the appt and the idea of weaning.

 

[Suzetig]

First things first, why does your T think you should space things out? Is that a practical measure due to insurance/finances or because you’ve progressed well and would be starting to taper down anyway or a bit of both. It’s not unusual for therapy to change and for it to feel like you’re not quite ready yet - your therapists job is literally to work herself out of a job, not to keep you dependent on her and in therapy forever so at times she’ll suggest pulling back and you may find it difficult - that’s all part of the process that you’re trusting.

It maybe work really acknowledging to yourself that your med change will also have an influence in how you’re feeling - so while it feels like it’s all about the therapy, there may still be a physical aspect to how you’re doing. Use the distress tolerance skills you’ve been learning, remind yourself its only 2 weeks, you lived before you started seeing her - got through more than 2 weeks without therapy so you can do this. Actively build in self care to your week - use your usual session time to do something nice for yourself, get a nice coffee, go for a long walk, whatever would be a treat for you. Try journaling your thoughts - write it in the way you’d speak to your T to get it out of your head, see friends and use your social supports as much as possible. And accept that this is a change and change isn’t easy at the best of times but you know you’re doing so much better - recognise the progress you’ve made and see this as an achievement in its own right.

And remember, if all else fails, she has kept your slot and you can ask to see her - she’s not going anywhere.

 

[NewGirl280]

I think it’s probably both, but had I not mentioned the insurance I would have been in the next week. I had felt like this was coming though, regardless of insurance status, and I discussed with her as I was fearful.

She’s made sure I know that I am always welcome to do whatever I need, I’m just the type that usually doesn’t know what I need, and it takes a lot for me to ask when I do.

I think my state of panic yesterday trumped my logical processing - and part of this is probably the meds (or lack of) as you suggest. I’m definitely more easily pushed to the edge, but I am hoping that my brain will adjust and level out on that too. Thanks for your supportive words!

I am trying to navigate not overstaying my welcome and not flying out of the nest before I’m ready.

 

[blackemerald1]

I don't think you will do either ^^ @NewGirl280 - but it might feel like that initially.

Work out a schedule of things to do that keep you moving through the 14 days without trying to make them go faster.

I agree - weaning off medication may make you feel less tolerant to change and feel things more intensely or at least differently than before.

I find now that whilst I don't enjoy when my psydoc or T go on holidays or I go away...I don't fret as much as I used to. If that is me getting better or managing ptsd better then that is fine. I used to feel panicked by it all but there has been a change for the better, mostly.

I'd also suggest writing in a diary/journal and employing sound coping tools and just seeing how it goes. You don't really know how resilient you are until you test it.

ecognise the progress you’ve made and see this as an achievement in its own right.

Yep this^^ It is most important that you remind yourself of this.

 

[NewGirl280]

Thanks guys. I feel a lot better about it today. Kind of sad/nervous about going so long (these appts are my safety net) but looking forward to hopefully saying I got through it!

I’ve planned a few things to keep me busy and out of my head, and am hopeful I’ll feel well enough to do them.

I really think the new lack of meds has my emotions overreacting to everything. That should stabilize over the next two weeks.

I’m focusing on that if I need to go in, I can. This will be a challenge but I think I’m up for it.