How Do You Engage When Your Therapist Is Leavibg?

[theshadowoftheliving]

Just found out that in a few months, my therapist is leaving her practice and I won't be able to see her anymore.

I'm so frustrated. How do I engage between now and then? I'm struggling to trust her or open up at all (and even staying present is really, really hard) because I'm just anticipating the abandonment.

Is it worth it to try to engage or should I just start looking for a new therapist? I'm already on therapist #3 this year. The idea of having a fourth therapist is really overwhelming.

 

[Powder]

I couldn't under the circumstances. After years of working hard on myself, I am more aware of my own limits.

Instead of asking "How do I (do the impossible)?" maybe ask why you feel the way you do and just accept it. Sometimes things just are what they are.

In the past, I'd excuse someone else for feeling this way, but not myself. But why should I not get to feel things?

If you feel this way, it's okay. Use the time to prepare to find someone truly good for you.

 

[expectingbetter]

I am so sorry you need to put up with this.
My own greatest fear concerning my therapy is that my therapist would leave me somehow. So I sympathize with you so much.

I think I wouldn't be able to continue my therapy with her when knowing it is limited. Only if there were a possibility to keep in touch in any way, phone sessions or similar when she leaves her practice.

I suggest finding a new one, the one you could feel safe enough with and feel he or she would be there for you.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think it's important, (if the working relationship is sound), to not blame them or fuel thoughts of abandonment.

But yes, on paper you know what's best to choose, but reality makes it near-impossible to choose to continue.

 

[EveHarrington]

I would find it hard to engage given that trauma work can oftentimes be a long term endeavor. I'd be afraid I'd get into something deep and it would be left open ended.

Do what you feel is best for you!

:hug:

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I'm just feeling so defeated. I want to quit therapy all together - I can't imagine it ever resolving things and I just keep getting hurt in the process of trying to engage.

 

[Whyteferret]

Can you flip it around? The therapist isn't leaving because of you. She's leaving because of her own reasons.

You survived the changes of therapists. And kept trying. Isn't that important to notice?

As for keeping seeing her: do you need the time to work on how you're feeling with her? Can you still gain something like new coping skills? Will staying with her make you have worse symptoms?

Don't give up on therapy just yet. It's hard to find someone. But, it is worth the effort.

 

[Tinyflame]

I'm already on therapist #3 this year. The idea of having a fourth therapist is really overwhelming.

Yes I can't imagine. :( I've spoken up once, I can't even imagine twice.

:hug: @theshadowoftheliving .

 

[Whyteferret]

@Junebug @theshadowoftheliving
It's hard to tell about it again to every therapist. I don't disclose much to anyone "new" for a while. The hardest thing was having to tell a complete stranger mental health evaluator for VA service connection claim. I lived through it. Vomited after but I made it. In a way, it made me stronger. I faced it.
That said, I still don't tell anyone the actual assault until I've worked with them for a while.

I hope things work out for you.

 

[Tinyflame]

In a way, it made me stronger. I faced it.

I think it could. Good for you. :tup:

That being said, I personally can't. It would create a downward spiral for me to say to a stranger, & it takes me years to overcome my guard, & even then it takes more than time. I've never said it all once. Likely from it goes against a lifetime of not, & childhood lessons, & too many years to even begin to look at it.

Best wishes to you too @Whyteferret . :hug: