How Do You Experience Anger?

[anopeet]

I'm getting mad of anger. All day long I have the feeling that I need to defend myself, and fight with the person who cause my PTSD. Do you use prescription medicines to deal with anger?

 

[Deleted member 541]

Working on your trauma is the better way to go. Meds don't help very much with anger, as anger is not an emotion, but a response to an emotion. Taking meds might help to mellow you out a bit more, but you need to work on your anger, by working on your trauma.....

 

[2notbedefeated]

I find myself very confusion about anger. I used to think I was somehow different in that I never had anger. Growing up in my family anger was one of the big no no's and not to be allowed or tolerated, except of course my Mom.

She was the only allowed to express her anger and no one else could. She would hold in as long as could and then, BOOM, it would pop out and explode. I saw my role as a child that was to keep and mantain peace and harmony in the home, so I could not show any anger.

My Mom would throw a plate of pancakes through the air at my Dad as an example. She became very withdrawn and I was terrified of her cause I didn't know what to expect from her mood wise. It was like walking on eggshells. Well anyway, occasionally I find myself doing the same thing and I hate it.

My daughter and I were having an arguement, I finally had to walk away and I went in to my bathroom and I saw a glass on the counter and before I knew it I had thrown to the ground and it shattered every where. I couldn't believe that I did that.

That doesn't happen hardly ever. I felt shame and bad after soing that. I have other similiar things that happen. I don't like it one bit and I don't like feeling out of control.

I occassionally get this "Tsunami like waves" of emotions (anger, panic, depression, etc)and than food over crushing me and I do a crazy thing.

I need to think and apply things that have been shared thus far. Good Luck all of you.

 

[fin]

You are not alone, take care of you and try to remember to relax some, ease up a little on yourself and maybe that will help the feelings of crushing anxiety and stress that get us angry. I dont know if this helps oyu but I hope it does. Take care

 

[strugglingdad]

I am angry all the time. It doesn't take much to throw me into a rage. Once I'm there I totally lose it. Can't see, don't feel pain, just flip. It scares me. I usually can't remember most of it after. I try to avoid anything that might set me off but the list keeps getting longer. I have discussed this with my doctor and therapist. I'm not sure they understand just how wild I get. It almost got me shot by the cop that stopped me a couple weeks ago. Just totally lost it. And he didn't deserve a bit of it, hadn't done anything but his job. Same cop stopped me this morning. I just sat there staring straight ahead for a couple minutes till I rolled down the window. Took all I had to stay in control. That was an hour and a half ago and I'm still shaking. It really does scare me. Have punched a horse hard enough to bring it to it's knees. Not proud of that. Hopefully it will get better as I work on the PTSD.

 

[picklerina]

I have no problems expressing anger. I often let it out in inappropriate ways though. People don't know how to deal with me when I get angry so I am alone much of the time.

You sound a lot like me.. I get angry at my kids and mostly my spouse, for the smallest infractions.. I feel like a total Nazi around them.

 

[Lionheart]

Maybe lower your voice. The other person must then lower their voice to hear what you are saying. In the meantime, they get to vent. So, I will nod my head to let them know they are being heard, I then hope that they will calm down enough to speak rationally.
However, what I usually do is to panic immediately. lol Generally, I overestimate the potential for violent confrontation and so now, I just rely on my instincts to tell me when to take a defensive posture. That usually means anytime I am backed into a corner or can't get away. However, I try to stay calm, lower my voice, (and occasionally suggest 'taking a break before discussing things any further').

Just a suggestion, good luck with it.
Lewie

 

[IndigoCharm]

I am mildly to moderately angry most of the time lately, and sometimes I get intense fits of rage over something someone does that triggers me or is generally a very indecent thing to do (and no one seems to realize it). The good side of the mild anger is that because of it, I stop caring about people disliking me enough to be assertive and explain that I don't like something and why it is making me mad. When the anger rises, I sometimes rant to someone about it -- my boyfriend doesn't understand it, but I have two friends who also have PTSD and talking to them helps me a lot because usually it turns out they get mad about the same things. When I get really enraged, though, I usually either end up throwing something across the room -- something non breakable -- and, more often, crying. Sometimes, though, just getting away and into a quiet place when it starts coming up helps. I curl myself up into a very tight ball or just tense all my muscles until I start feeling a little better.

 

[Irton Pike]

I get angry. I get really angry. I go into rage.

I hate it. I hate myself for getting angry. It makes me feel awful afterwards.

For years since the car crash I used the anger to run and to push myself in my career. I worked and worked and worked at the expense of my life as a father. But the anger went down. A few years back I developed IBS and sopent months before I got a bowel cancer all clear. I told my boss what was happening and he began a systyematic campaign of bullying me. My PTSD symptoms came back with a vengeance. I felt threatened. I was attacked in a road rage incident (not my rage!) and on another occasion i was knocked off my bicycle by a lorry and was lucky to escape just battered and bruised with cracked thumbs. Throughout this period of 3 months I got increasingly angry with my boss who was becoming increasingly aggressive and abusive. Eventually I snapped and bawled him out. since then the horrible old swine has had fun pressing my button! Even going so far as to strat pushing me about. And I have reacted with extreme anger and rage, none of which has done me any good at work. I've said all this before, but recently I have been thinking about my anger/rage

The only person who has suffered from my anger is me. Although, in reality my family have also suffered as I am no fun and looking like my career has gone tits up. My anger has served my ememies far better than it has served me and it has really done me harm. The thing is, the anger with my boss has always felt justified. And indeed he has really stitched me up on several occasions, and he continues to do so. As a cosequence of this justifiable anger I have done little to address it. But the problem with rage is that it is fine for an emergency situation but that my anger has been highly inappropriate. I have been angry with my mrs and my kids over nothing. A few weeks back i had a massive argument with my mrs and ended up suicidal. My anger was unprovoked and entirely from my work situation when i found some information was being withheld from me.

That really shook my foundations and for the first time in 13 years I began asking myself "WHY am I angry". Quickly I began asking myself everytime i felt it rise. I realised i was getting angry over so many little things that never used to bother me. All the time. The question Why? has now become a way of dealing with my anger. It is early days but for the first time I realise the terrible mistakes i have made at home, wioth my freinds and at work. They have caused me a lot of damage and I have hurt people who did not deserve to be hurt. I am ashamed of it, but then I think I have started a new way to deal with it. And it is better than before already. It will be a long road. but it feels right this time. I have even been able to let the anger go on a few occasions without acting on it. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS.

I would also like to thaknk everyone on the boards for their comments on anger/rage especially Anthony and Becvan. I have found your words to be of great help, moreso in the last month.

 

[TLight]

Irton.........
Your words are so encouraging to me. I too have dealt with huge anger and rage..........a lot of it 'justified' too. But you are right, it only hurts me.

The progress you've made in dealing with your anger is impressive. The simple statement, "I began by asking myself "Why am I angry?" This will help me in the future if I can remember it before the rage takes hold.

Thank you.