How do you feel supported?

[OceanSpray]

I recently got into a fight- ish? I’m not sure what exactly it was, with a friend. One of the things in it is she asked me how do I feel supported, how do I feel seen or heard, as in what behavior can she do for me.

And the honest answer is I have no idea. I blanked. Anything I can think of that other people might say just feels fake or out of pity. It’s not that she does a bad job or anything. But I’m really, really, really good at stuffing down my needs to make sure everyone else is good and eventually it comes up and to me there’s this whole stack of things that’s been adding up and to them (not just her, this is a pattern) it’s like it all came out of nowhere. It’s not that I don’t talk about the issues, I do. But maybe I don’t stress enough how much they bother me? I don’t know.

What are some things that friends do that make you feel like they are a good and supportive friend to you?

 

[arfie]

my current answer for questions along this life are, "if i knew wtf i needed, i wouldn't need support."

i guess the strongest way friends make me feel supported is by taking me the way i am, even when i can't confidently say just what it is that i am. stay true to you, my friend.

 

[Rose White]

I feel supported when a friend listens to me and talks with me when I’m having a problem or feeling down.

 

[whiteraven]

Probably not what you were looking for...but I don't. By anyone. Ever.

 

[pamcoco]

Usually if they have to ask they're not going to get it any way....

 

[FMCA]

I feel supported when my cousin comes to see me and when my neighbour calls in because they are good people who want the best for me. Its not a certain thing just who they are

 

[Paladin_141]

I don't.

It's all on me. If I tell other people about things then their response becomes just another problem I have to manage.

 

[FMCA]

When I think of my children

 

[Friday]

I’ve had a much longer answer half written since the day this was posted.

Bottom line, for me???

FEELING supported… someone is meeting my wants.

BEING supported… is more about someone meeting my needs, even if it’s not how I WANT them met, which gets complicated very quickly.