How Do You Keep It Up With Talking About Sex?

[Mojo jo jo]

I finally opened up about ...sexual related stuff to do with trauma and my day to day life. Not going to go into specifics besides saying I was never raped but I did have instances of sexual harassment as a young teenager which I kept quiet about for years.

I finally opened up yesterday about it but I'm dreading going back and doing it again even though I want to.

I just find anything to do with sex SO AWKWARD and embarrassing to talk about in therapy. I also am minimising my experience since I was never actually raped or experienced anything at the higher end of the scale. However, it has affected me greatly.

 

[Fonudu]

code words? sometimes i use those in therapy with really hard things. i just write out a "decoder list" and hand it to my therapist before we start. sometimes i'll send an email beforehand stating that *specific topic* is really hard for me to talk about but i need to and ask if she has any ideas to help.

dunno. maybe those are silly ideas. hope you find something that helps. that's great you finally talked about things, though!

 

[Tilo]

Ugh, me too.
Just because you weren't "actually raped" doesn't mean whatever happened can't have a huge effect on your life. There's no point in trying to rank your problems with other people.
That said, I try to remember that my therapist has heard it all before, much like a doctor. If you think your trauma isn't "as extreme" as other people, you won't be able to surprise your therapist at least?

Congratulations on having that first conversation and making this post! Maybe posting on the anonymous forum might help you feel a little calmer about talking about things? No better place than where absolutely noone knows who you are!

 

[Otidu]

I am struggling with this very thing right now. I sent my T a couple very explicit e-mails about triggers and flashbacks from being sexual abused which were pretty graphic. I see her today for the first time since sending them and am feeling mortified about her looking at me! I know these things are important to talk about, so will try to push forward but not without a blanket and pillow on my lap to "hide" behind! I use child words, which is embarrassing, but are the ones that come to mind. I feel your pain. Keep pushing forward, it has to be worth it! Good luck!

 

[Eka]

I am with you op. I can hardly talk about it bc of the shame and guilt. I realistically know I have nothing to feel ashamed over, but it doesn't make it any easier. Scary!! I haven't gotten through much of mine yet but I am really looking forward to purging it and getting it out there bc I feel like it has an unfair hold over me. I am just not quite ready to throw it out there yet.