How Do You See Your Intrusive Thoughts?

[runover]

Hi all,

I'm very new to this site and PTSD. Just started therapy and typically am analysing obsessively everything therapist has said to me.

I get a lot of intrusive thoughts- that bad things are going to happen- mainly around car accidents. I can be driving and see a car about to hit me- it makes me wince and shudder. This happens with almost every car/lorry etc. Or I see myself driving off the road and hitting someone. Basically I see impacts. Things hitting other things with catastrophic effects.

Just a little question- what is the significance of how you see these thoughts? I see them as if they are happening through my eyes. Not as if I am watching from above. What's the significance of this? The therapist seemed to check a few times which way it was?

I know its just a small point- but im paranoid of whatthe therapist thinks and is writing on his note pad.

Any ideas much appreciated.

 

[runover]

Hi- really sorry- I've just seen I probably posted in the wrong section- it's because I get my flashbacks and intrusive thoughts a bit confused. And sorry for the bad spelling

 

[franciemarnie]

Your T might be checking to see how you dissociate. Leaving your body is one way.

Why not ask? It's a legitimate question - as are all questions. It's your mental health and you are paying him.

But I think that may be why he asks. Some people leave their bodies temporarily.

 

[runover]

Actually- he did mention that! I didn't know what it was- he just said because I don't give any details in my answers- very brief.

I'd never heard of it when he mentioned it- but now I've looked it up actually it seems to be exactly what I do- and have done long before this accident, but I don't feel like it's what I do when I get these images.

I just totally switch off both when people are talking, or it seems to be when I'm really multi- tasking like cooking. I'll suddenly find myself with something in my hand that I don't know why I got out, or I'll repeatedly do something without thinking to find I've already done it. I've made so many unnecessary cups of tea! I always thought this was just memory- or absent mindedness or loss of concentration- but maybe now actually it is disassociation?

When I get ready in the mornings I will just sit or stand mid task and stare into space, sometimes for a really long time. This makes me late. I think I used to do it before too. Although I do it just throughout the day now. Is this just tiredness- or is this dissociation? I don't really want to mention it again because I don't want to seem like I'm jumping on a band wagon- and googling everything he mentions.

 

[Hope4Now]

googling everything he mentions

This is sort of off-topic, but I wanted to respond. I've been doing that for months now. I've learned a lot about a lot of things, but it hasn't really helped me in my healing process. In some ways it is sort of a weird form of dissociation for me--throwing myself into researching and understanding a topic. But I think I did it to make sure I had all the information and I could check my knowledge against what the people I'm working with are saying to me to protect myself from being hurt. Helped me trust them a bit more.