How Do You

[sonicwhite]

Push yourself out of laziness you have been in for five years. It first started when I quit my job back in 08 I really didn't start to get lazy until five years ago and what I mean by that is I put things off that I'm supposed to do. Like chores. And I can't seem to get out of bed. It maybe the depression or the trauma I dealt with almost eleven years. I got a job in 07 and worked my butt off. I loved it. I wasn't even in it for the money. I just loved preaching to my coworkers and loved working. Now I can't even think that it will be the same if I try. I feel I will give up and be lazy again.


You hear about how God saved someone from drugs and alcohol but laziness? It kinda sticks out like what the heck. My roommates say I have to push myself but I have to want the job, enjoy it and want to be there. As it stands really I don't want to get out of bed. Ugh I just want to know am I going to be ok. Are things going to work out? Hopefully in time as we reduce the medication the apathy will go away.

 

[Daisylove]

You start small, little by little. Can't be bothered doing all the chores? Do 1 chore, and only do it for a minute. Even then, maybe you didn't finish it, but so what? You've reduced it by 1 minute and that's a good thing. Next time, that's one less minute you need to spend on it. You'll find that once you do it for a minute, it will be quite easy to do it for another minute. This is the trick I use to get myself to exercise. Also knowing, that if you give up once, so what... You can always start again later. Don't put pressure on yourself, do what you need to do. Don't want to get out of bed? That's OK. Don't get out of bed and don't feel guilty about it. Just let yourself stay in bed. Once you give yourself the space to relax, you might find yourself wanting to get out of bed at some point. This is what my therapist taught me... Embrace your feelings, don't resist them, even if doing so makes you feel a little bit guilty. Nothing lasts forever. I used to think the same way that you did, and slowly things are beginning to change for me. I can say with confidence now... nothing lasts forever.

 

[Daisylove]

Sonicwhite I just wanted to add, I don't know that I would classify that as laziness. I can assume that you have faced some sort of trauma, otherwise why would you be here? You are not being lazy, you are healing from trauma. Allow yourself to heal. Hugs.

 

[Sideways]

Lack of motivation, anhedonia (not getting any pleasure out of anything), and "this is all completely pointless" are all diagnostic symptoms of your illness. If you suffered from low blood pressure, you'd feel light-headed. You've got depression - these are the symptoms.

Definitely agree with tackling this in baby steps. You don't have to "feel" the motivation, but do it anyway. Doing anything is better than nothing, so don't let the negative self-talk (I should be able to do more) get in the way. These are symptoms that fix slowly.

As well as baby steps, I'd add 2 things: structure, and don't expect to "feel better":

Say a person is at the point where they don't get out of bed all day. Even showering is a big deal.

Set a routine: alarm goes off at 7am, and I'm going to get out of bed, shower and have breakfast. After that, everything is bonus.

Sounds easy. It's not. Day after day that person's alarm will go off and their head will tell them "too hard, no point". The days that they do pull it off, their head tells them "great, all that effort and I still feel like crap".

Approach the task knowing in advance that your head will try and persuade you not to bother. Approach it knowing in advance that actually, you probably won't feel "better" for having done it. The symptoms don't magically vanish, but you have to keep doing it anyway. Diabetes? Gotta take insulin. Depression? Gotta get out of bed. It sux, but that's how it is.

Over time, little by little, the tasks you set will become easier, you'll add more, and at some point, you'll look back and realise that not only are you achieving more in the day, but it's not quite as hard, and you don't feel quite as awful.

 

[sonicwhite]

Thank you all.

 

[ladee]

Just getting on the other side of this myself @sonicwhite. All I wanted to do was sleep. I would get up and check in here... that helped. but back to bed I went... so, baby steps. And I started a new job today, tho I got frustrated at one point, and man did the negative talk start, but instead of walking off the job, I walked out the door and smoked a cigarette..... on my next shift I will handle the frustration better by being able to tell them... ONE person train me, ONE, not three yammering at me at once telling me different ways to do the same thing.... even two weeks ago I would have just left...Do I feel better, not really, but I am getting there.... and even if I never bounce out of bed and say Yahoo, I'm going to work, I am doing it... so patting myself on the back today..... you have support !!!And are not alone...

 

[Sideways]

@ladee - made me smile (sorry). We have this myth in our heads, that we use to beat ourselves up with, "why can't I just be happy like other people? I'm so defective because I can't be happy"...I sooo do that to myself all the time. There used to be a time when I was one of those people who bounced out of bed in the morning with the whole, "New day! Bring it on!" thing happening in my head, why can't I be like that again???

Hold up, reality check Ragdoll. Sure, there was a time when I was 'happier' than this, but if I'm honest with myself, I'm not sure that there's a mentally stable person on God's green earth that actually bounces out of bed with happiness every day. Myth busted!

 

[ladee]

@Ragdoll Circus, That's true... some crap the media tries to sell... And I wonder, exactly what is "happy"...??? I just want to be reasonably content.... Sounds like happy would just take too much energy....:meh:

 

[Crow]

I was so where you are a few months ago. I go in cycles and the last one hit hard. Some folks here suggested making a list of things I wanted to do each day and post to my diary here each morning and then update what I did in the evening. Kind of an accountability thing. Really what posting that stuff did was I got encouragement every day until I could do the stuff without the addaboys. Now I have a laminated list for daily stuff and weekly stuff and I get about half of everything done. It's becoming second nature.

But yeah, the inertia can be so defeating. It is not permanent. It will pass. Just do tiny things even if it's turning over in bed or stretching or putting feet on the floor. Little tiny steps lead to bigger brighter leaps.

 

[Daisylove]

@ragdoll I do that too, wonder why I can't be like all the other happy people... On a brighter note, I used to find it difficult to get out of bed in the morning, but now I bounce out of bed (mostly - not everyday). Things CAN change, even when they feel they never will. I think I spent about 10 years wishing for things to change, and hearing quotes that 'nothing ever stays the same' and thinking, 'yeah? it does for me! nothing ever changes for me!' But then, almost suddenly, things changed. My point is, Sonic, never give up hope.

 

[EveHarrington]

Can you push yourself just a little bit more each day? I find this to help me.

 

[sonicwhite]

I need to clean my room, stop making excuses and just do it. I know I won't be leaping in the air for joy but at least I stopped one problem that keeps eating at me. With other things I need to just do it. I know life is going to be hard for me. Nightmares every night. I wished I could just relax without fearing what I will see in my sleep. These are not excuses not to pull my own weight. Please pray that God somehow just gets me back on the good path of health. Sometimes my problems are so small at first that I make them bigger by ignoring them.