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Other How many of us have agoraphobia?

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I hate crowds too... Last summer I struggled with a bad bout of agoraphobia. Got to where just THINKING about going outside would cause a panic attack! I ended up doing okay, but now I've been struggling a lot again. Thinking about stopping therapy just because I don't want to be out more than I have to. I have to be out for school, at least I can be around a few select people who I feel safe around... I manage okay as long as those people are there- if they don't come to school or leave me on my own, I'm digging through my purse trying to find the xanax! I can't even stand right outside my front door for a full minute at nighttime without starting to get anxious :( I'm trying to not avoid the anxiety, but it's hard... especially when it feels SO safe to just be in my room.
 
Count me in. I notice I'm most relaxed and content when I'm at home, completely alone. When I head out the door, the place in the back part of my brain starts zinging and I'm holding off panic all day.

I find I do best when I don't have to deal with other people. People are very dangerous and they can't be trusted. I know I'm just 'existing' and not living, but I've resigned myself so far that I think I'll look at it as healing. I"m hold up here in my little place on the lake healing. It is just more pleasant that way.
 
I get those tendencies too. I do not have any friends other than my husband and the only places I go (where I get out of the car) are therapy, bowling league and some shops. I think I can deal with bowling because it is pretty scripted....I know how it goes...everyone plays by the rules and when it is over everyone just leaves. When I am REALLY bad I wont get the mail, answer the phone, check my email or some of my other internet sites. I just sleep and sleep and keep the blinds closed and if I go somewhere I quick get inside before anyone sees me. Sometimes when I am out and I have a list of errands I will get a few done and then be overcome with this intense "I gotta go home RIGHT NOW!" feeling. I also am not a good car passenger. I dont know if my DH is a bad driver or if it is just me. Probably just me cuz he never gets in accidents.
My therapist called me on the carpet over this stuff recently. She asked me what happens if the neighbors see me....do I burst into flames? do I melt? do they come at me with pitchforks? Umm...no. Actually my neighbors dont even know me so they probably wouldnt do more than a wave if that. Etc etc. She asked me why I get to have a free pass on doing the things that everyone else has to do? Umm...I dont really have an answer to that. I could say well "PTSD"...but then its like. "OK then...since you had that bad thing(s) happen you dont have to do anything else for the rest of your life." NO thats not what I said! But I guess maybe it was....if I dont confront my fears and work on getting better I AM doing that. So back at it I must go. One thing at a time. Live in today. Dont worry about what hasnt happened yet. Do my breathing. Try something new all the time. And bit by bit I can rejoin the human race. Right?
 
I had forgotten about this thread and glad it has been reborn. I am noticing an increase in my agoraphobic symptoms over the past few months. The fact that I "HAVE" to go out is taking it's toll.

We now have a calendar in the kitchen with all of our appts written on it and I see it every night before bed and every day first thing in the morning. I am now constantly worrying Oh Hell, I have to go out tomorrow and I am beginning to seriously withdraw from the world again.

I am keeping stress headaches almost daily now and my living space is geting messier by the day. I'm not dressing, cleaning, etc. This is a sure indication I am shutting down again. I DO NOT DO STRESS and mothers increasing health issues are causing me trouble. I am scared I am breaking under the pressure and then who is going to care for either one of us?

I am not going out unless it is for mothers needs, etc. The agoraphobia is getting worse again. While I love mom---she is down there. I am not lone and that is stressing me. I can't hide I CAN'T HIDE I NEED TO HIDE. I'm breathing and I am going to go to bed and try to relax and destress. Gott go out tomorrow aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
 
These are probably dumb questions as I also used to suffer from Agoraphobia, but I will ask it anyway...

What is it that all of you fear about going out?? Is your fear REAL. (Real as being someone that is stalking you, someone is out to get you)

I went through this too, but god damn I just refused to be a prisoner of fear and stuck inside of 4 walls. I forced myself OUT the door every stinking day, for 3 months till I finally discovered that it was ok to go out, and that I was ok being out....It sucked big time for those 3 months, but let me tell you......Life is so much better outside, than sitting looking at 4 walls.....

Maybe I am wrong, but my attitude is......NO ONE, NOBODY, will ever stop me from doing what I want to do. I fight with everything I have to do what I want....

I just feel bad for all of you that are stuck, and can't seem to move forward with this.... I guess the old saying no pain, no gain is true....
 
She-Cat....that is what my therapist was trying to get across to me I think. What exactly do I fear is going to happen? Umm...not sure really. I just know I am full of anxiety. Well thats what the exposure therapy is about...doing stuff in spite of the anxiety and learning that yeah anxiety is not comfortable...but check it out...I'm living through it! Hmm...maybe this thing I thought was so dangerous really isnt.
They key I am sure is practice and keeping at it. cuz being creatures of habit it is easy to slip into old comfortable (not really...but familiar perhaps) patterns and ways of doing (or NOT doing) things.
 
I am slowly but surely branching out. I have some pretty outrageous fears like random stabbings (I once unwillingly took part in one) gang bangers robbing me (it too has happened to me) and other random acts of violence or cruelty. I am now trying to recognize that that part of my life is over.

I am making new friends and eventually I will try to do stuff with them. Never alone though. I just don't feel safe enough for that.
 
As far as my agoraphobia, my fear is actually leaving the house--being outside--exposing myself to anything and everything. I fear being away from home.

OK I'll fess up. I have panic and anxiety attacks every time I leave the house. If they get to bad my bowels release in raging diarrhea. This is how terrified I am when I am out in the world.

There has to be some basis for this fear. But what? Who knows? I use to faint when I was a kid. My anxiety has ALWAYS expressed itself this way.

I have to go out today at 10:30 and I am already having physical issues. I am helping out a friend of mom's. She needs a ride to her doctor today. She is blind and her driver is unavailable so I am taking her. I will be a wreck when I get home, but at least I will have done it.

I have developed what I call my safe zone. It contains my gas station, Walmart, my doctors and very few favorite thrift stores. I am OK when going there. I still have attacks but they are minimal and manageable MOST of the time.
 
P. S. I plan to sit in the car with cell phone in had while she is in the doctors office. Hell, I can't sit in their waiting room, so I'll just wait in my car. Might even bring my laptop with me.
 
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