How many people feel like they don't belong?

[Multitudes]

Sex is the only thing that fixes this for me. I do not feel alone when I am with my lover.

My experience has been that the connection I felt, the immediate closeness, mutual respect and more, was the only period - maybe five months - in my lifetime when I've stepped through that glass wall and been completely in the Here and Now.. I filled my space and senses with her, smelled, tasted, touched. I also felt that sense of presence extending into my life with her, and outward into the world I'd missed, during that time.

It's more than the sex - it is being able to share, being equal, open, trusting, immersed in one another. Validating one another in the best way, "You are all that I need!".

That made into a pill would cure anything!

 

[mumstheword]

I've had it a lot. I still don't feel like I belong in this town, community, neighborhood, family, culture, but slowly gaining a sense of connection with some peers, the region itself (more the nature side than the civilisation side). I do, however, feel like I belong with my partner and some of the learning environments I find myself in, here for one, my NIA class, maybe with my new T?
Connection is not something I've felt more than just fleetingly except with my partner of 7.5 years now.
Even connection with my own children is touch and go, although I'm enjoying it with my youngest still, and reconnection with some of my young adult children.
I do belong to them, they have been my reason for existing since I first conceived my oldest, nearly 28 years ago.
Losing most of them for a time (years, were talking quite a few years) was the most devastating experience of my life.
All in all, I relate to living "in the world but not of it" I'm not at all a very "worldly" person.

 

[Freida]

@MrMoonlight

noise cancelling headphones! They make all the difference in the world on buses, planes, trains, you name it. Boas has the best but they are ways spendy so I got mine at a pawn shop. You can still hear people talking but it drowns out all the background noise. I won't even get on my bus without them - they are a sanity saver

 

[Gamereign555]

I used to feel that way everywhere I was. Somewhere along the line I acknowledged that I had skills that were useful and something to add wherever I was. There are certain situations however where I feel I don’t belong but maybe are also not healthy and so I am OK with that and I will leave.

 

[Kay Mouse]

Well, I am definitely familiar with the feeling of not belonging, but I am also aware that the feeling of not belonging is not unique. If a person were to add together all of the people in all of the different demographics who feel like they don't belong, I'm sure it would be quite a substantial figure. Look at all of the different diagnostic labels with which depression and anxiety are associated. Dozens. And at the heart of most of them, trauma. As far as belonging is concerned, I have actually reached a point where I have kind of resigned myself to spending most of my life alone. I regularly communicate with only a very small number of human beings, and when I do, feel that the interactions are mainly inauthentic, formulaic and unrewarding. I have to wonder how many people in this world are desperate to hold on to the idea of being normal, whilst suppressing negative emotions and actually having quite profound neuroses. I see this is people, unfortunately. I have this knack for spotting falsehoods, and in this world, that is a despised quality. I accepted not having relationships, I have accepted not having many friends, and even accepted not working, but the last issue is the only one which I feel is a problem, because I would prefer to have guaranteed life-long financial security. I have had aspirations of doing this through a non-job type job, i.e. writer or something similarly creative, but cannot focus on anything for very long or my anxiety will take over, and then my energy will flag. I can live with not belonging, to be honest. I consider this world absolutely insane, for a vast multitude of reasons. If I were able to guarantee my own financial security I would be quite happy with a life in which I limit my exposure to other humans. Abuse is everywhere, and I am entirely sick of it. It is not part of some divine plan, it is maladaptation and I refuse to call it anything else. The way I feel, (which is perfectly valid) is that I am just sick of people. Some time soon I will buy a pet, and I will get more unconditional love from it that I ever have from any human I have ever met.

 

[Lost Marbles]

I just returned from a trip where the airports were truly my worst enemy

For me, its not the airport but being on the plane. I am surrounded by all these strange people and there are no escape routes, no place to hide.

 

[MrMoonlight]

For me, its not the airport but being on the plane

Man I hear you. I was jumping every time the seatbelt thing dinged. The poor person next to me. Though for me being in the craft and all the people organized and facing in one direction made me feel better than the chaos of the airport. It really makes me question further travel. I don't want to experience hours of that stress again. It's freaking gut wrenching.

Sorry you are feeling similarly @Lost Marbles

 

[Lost Marbles]

being in the craft and all the people organized and facing in one direction made me feel better than the chaos of the airport

Good point about the plane, If I can choose my seat, I always take one in the back row so as to keep everyone in front of me, easier to keep an eye on them. I tend to do the same in restaurants, I get a table in the far corner where I can see the whole room and the entrances/exits.

as for airports, I really do not like unfamiliar airports, the chaos can be overwhelming and confusing.

 

[Tinyflame]

It's actually safer in the back of the plane.

I remember a wonderful Vet here telling me the feeling of not belonging is actually low grade anxiety.

 

[Lost Marbles]

feeling of not belonging is actually low grade anxiety

Sounds about right.

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes I forgot he told me that @Lost Marbles .

 

[illusionist]

I never have felt that I belong but at the same time I don't genuinely care.....I don't beat myself up about it....just accept its how I am. Much of it is my own doing as I refuse to play sheep.