How Much Longer Can I Take It?

[SharkyorBones]

Monday to Friday I go to work in Central London. I go on te underground which is fine even when it's packed and then I go on an overground train for maybe 30 mins til I get there. It's not usually too bad going to work but coming home is terrifying the trains get so packed and today was the worst it's ever been. I feel sick.

My mum calls thos trains a perverts paradise and she's right it is. Today a guy stood on front of me and stared continuously at me the entire journey and then at the second from last stop a group of guys pushed their way onto the train pushing me into the middle of a sea of people and sandwiched between a whole bunch of guys. The guy who had been staring at me deliberately pressed his body up against my back and I wanted to scream and cry but I couldn't. I'm still on my way home and I'm tryin to fight back tears but I can't. I can't even finish telling you what happened to me but I feel destroyed.

 

[violetclouds]

Hang in there Sharky - you can make it - you are not destroyed even though it feels like it - just focus on making your way home - and you will be fine - *hugs*

 

[Justmehere]

:hug: @SharkyorBones

I struggle with the same thing about public transit (which I ride every day myself.) Take some slow deep breaths and focus on just getting home right now.

Something I do from time to time is go hang in a coffee shop, bookstore, or library until the rush hour is over - but you may be dealing with the normal amount of passengers. I wish there was an easier way! :(

But you will get home ok, try to ignore those who seek creepy and know you are not alone in struggling with this, but you are mostly safe.

 

[Sammyiam]

Hi sharky,

You can do it just breath and think of home you will be their soon and think of your yummy hot choccies you have each morning and that nice feeling you have in the morning when you are drinking them. PM me if you like when you get home.

Take care you will be out of there soon

Sammy

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

Hi sharky it must have been really horrible for you but please don't let it put u off. Hang in there everyday you will become stronger and feel more confident . U get perverts everywhere but the only saving grace is your on public transport so mNy people around you. If someone does ever touch you in appropriately then speak to someone next to you and ask them for some support, I do understand the rush hour though as I live in London, unfortunately I'm not as confident as you as I wouldn't even attempt to use the trains, so a massive achievement for you . Well done and please try not to let this isolated incident set you back. Good luck

 

[Friday]

There's this moment: the first time you stomp really hard on Herbert's foot, or do scream, or have someone intervene on your behalf, or are simply not bothered... Whatever it is that you personally need... that is crazy amazing.

Fighting back doesn't always, or even usually work. It can make things worse.
Screaming/Objecting doesn't always, or even usually, work. It can make things worse.
Somone intervening doesn't always, or even usually, work. It can make things worse.

It's not about what works to make something stop. Or not happen. Generally, whatever a person does in that moment was the best durn course of action.

It's the moment when you believe that. The first time is the best. It's this total coalescing of "You have no power over me" kind of thunderstruck awe. It can still be scary, bad, awful, etc. It doesn't keep the bad thing from happening. But it won't destroy you. It's a crazy amazing thing. It's why I keep doing this thing. Stressors and threats still come up. And square 1 happens. But you chip away, and chip away, and someday you're standing in the subway/tube/underground just like tonight, and; it might annoy you, but you don't have to be brave, and it doesn't gut you.