How Possible Is A Romantic Relationship?

[Egid]

I know many sufferers are very capable of maintaining healthy, loving relationships with their partners, especially when proper coping skills are readily in place.

My question is how likely is a sufferer able to sustain a loving relationship when not actively seeking support?

What is necessary in order to be able to get to a place to have a healthy, functional relationship with someone?

 

[Wini]

I feel communication and understanding are the two most important aspects of a relationship. Being open and honest about your feelings. Your supporter learning what he/she can about PTSD, from books, and you, mutual therapy would help too. When they understand your condition (as well as possible for someone who isn't going through it), then the relationship can flow easier.

 

[Varema]

I would agree with @wini.
Communication is absolutely key. If we are not open about whats happening then our partners cant start to understand. We also have to allow them time to 'come to terms' with things and understand their needs too.
Understanding, honesty, 2 way open communication, space (when needed) and hugs.

 

[Egid]

My partner is requiring therapy in order to feel comfortable but I'm not sure I feel ready for it. Thoughts?

 

[Ake]

What does "ready for it" mean to you?

 

[Icufi]

My question is how likely is a sufferer able to sustain a loving relationship when not actively seeking support?

Depends on their trauma, how they are coping with it and what coping skills, set of circumstances, etc.

I mean I dont think every sufferer must always be seeking support as PTSD is incurable but manageable so that honestly depends on a lot of things.

What is necessary in order to be able to get to a place to have a healthy, functional relationship with someone?

I also agree that communication is HUGE. And being aware of both their needs (need of space, need of closeness, etc), and your own self needs as you need to look after you! But that comes with good communication and understanding on both sides.

 

[Zawi]

Circumstances are highly individual. It very much depends on the persons (sufferers)level of functioning and their mate's (supporter's) level of functioning.

I think it is a very respectable request, when one partner says that they think couple or individual therapy is needed. In other words, I think it is in the partner's, and the couple's best interest.

Often times, a sufferer or the supporter may not feel skilled or supported enough to bring up issues, when they are alone, together. On the other hand, sometimes one person of the couple resists therapy, because they fear that therapy may 'rock the boat', and maybe expose issues that need to be addressed, for a healthy relationship.

I have been saddened when a friend of mine refused to go to counseling when her sufferer requested it, because the supporter's sexual withdrawal and anger was a problem. They never went to therapy. Of course, as a family aunt-like figure, I understood the some depth of their problems. The supporter feared the end of the marriage since she, herself, had difficulties holding jobs, due to her anger, and alcoholism.

As an family-aunt figure, I was sad that their children grew up in a hostile home with no, even friendly, affection. (surely, the supporter had unacknowledged PTSD symptoms of her own. Had she been willing to discuss problems and 'be part of a solution', maybe they never would've had sex again, but their might have been more peace in their home, or even an agreement of a 'convenient' relationship; whatever they decided.

Certainly, there is no perfect relationship, and many relationships help compensate for each partners' deficiencies. And when a member of a couple asks for therapy, I feel it is a type of 'cry for help' that should be respected. With all that said, paradoxically, with non-judgement, what you choose to do will be what is best for you.

There are some points to clear up before I can clearly answer.

Please clarify,

1. Are you a sufferer or a supporter of a sufferer?
2. Why is your partner asking for therapy?
3. (Asked above) Why don't you feel ready for therapy? You can always state your needs in therapy.