How Should I Prepare For Going To A Counselor For The First Time?

[MapOfOhio]

And what should I expect? Thanks in advance

 

[anthony]

I don't think you can really prepare. Just be yourself, be open, be honest, and be open to speak about things with them that you otherwise wouldn't talk to anyone about.

 

[Sarah2732]

Well pat yourself on the back. That's a huge first step towards change!

If you are in the US, expect to start with some paperwork and to be cut off before you say almost anything with a disclosure of when the counselor would have to break confidentiality. It's an awkward way to start, but legally required in most states.

Expect small talk. Expect awkwardness. It can be hard to jump right in and feel safe and conversational even with a really skilled therapist. They are used to that, and will help conversation move as smoothly as possible, at whatever depth you are comfortable.

Expect to be asked why you've sought counseling. Expect to feel a little exposed.

Give yourself permission to trust your feelings about the counselor. Just because they are licensed doesn't mean they are safe, professional, or skilled. Even if they are all of those things, you might not click with them- and that's ok.

They might ask if you have any questions- and asking them questions might be a good way to feel a little less on the spot and get a little more comfortable with them. Questions to ask might be:
1. How long have you been a counselor? 2. Are there any issues you are not comfortable treating? 3. Do you have much experience with trauma (insert any issue there) etc. I also ask if they've ever had counseling and whether they are a dog person or a cat person. ;-)

 

[arfie]

I carried lists of thoughts and questions. I didn't use them much, but it comforted me.

My first sessions felt kinda like blind dates. Mostly getting to know you and establishing rapport. Maybe closer to the first day of class? Just relax as best you can and be yourself

 

[Pyronsbabygrl34]

And what should I expect? Thanks in advance

Unfortunately there really is no way to prepare for the unknown. That is what it will be until you make that step in the door, a very unknown and scary place. But once you make that step it becomes a place of comfort, people who care and want to understand what you are going through, they aren't there to judge, they are there to help you.

When I went to my therapy for the first time I brought a journal with me and for each time I became anxious while waiting or unsure if I could go through with it, I wrote whatever I was feeling inside that journal. It kept mind busy while waiting and it helped me after each session to release my feelings there as well as I'm my journal. I'm only third one and it has become like my wallet I don't leave my home without it, it not only goes to therapy but anywhere else and if feel anxious, fear whatever I stop sit down write, it sounds silly but it really has been a huge coping skill.

Just remember the first step is the hardest, there's going to be rough patches but the good will start to show, don't give up when it gets hard because you have to get through the bad to get to the good. Be opened in how you feel, let it all out, you owe it to yourself and no matter how hard it gets remember you can and will get through it.

One step at a time, one day, one moment, live for the moment your in and worry about the rest when it's time. Believe in yourself and don't ever think you don't deserve to be happy and rid of this. Just believe and have faith, and know you are not alone

 

[BloomInWinter]

Keep your expectations realistic. The first sessions are where you are interviewing the therapist for the job of being your mentor and healer. Try to keep an open mind and not take anything said as being anything more than what they say, i.e., that there is no hidden manipulation or desire to treat you negatively or that there is some hidden message.

Mostly, go, ask as many questions as you want to ask, and say exactly what you are feeling regardless of how you feel it may be perceived. Take something comforting in with you, such as a good luck coin or something. Have something planned for after the session to look forward to.

 

[ghotiff]

@Sarah2732 gave a great summary.

I think the hardest question that they seem to always ask is a version of "What brought you to therapy". This always catches me because its not a simple question, and its certainly not just 'one' reason.

Maybe its just me but I get the sense that they ask it expecting a clear and simple answer of eg "I would like to have more control over my anxiety so that I can perform better at school". I have a phrase now that I use...if there was anything to prep for, this would be what I would work on.

The only other thing to add is that you do NOT have to disclose your trauma. Please do not feel pressured to do so. If you do not want to discuss it in your first session I would prepare a summary statement to that fact. Eg "I was abused by my parents as a child, but I do not want to discuss any details in this first appointment". If they don't respect that statement/boundary and they push for details, I would question if they are the right therapist for you.

 

[Seasounds]

I've found it helpful to notice:

• Do you relax in the therapist's presence?
• Does the therapist put you at ease?
• Does the therapist seem to be at ease with you?
• Does the therapist have ease when you express your thoughts and emotions- or do they change the subject?
• Ask about the therapist's therapeutic approach- Jungian, Psychoanalytic, Cognitive Behavioral, etc.
• What are your therapeutic goals?
• How would the therapist work with you?
• Do you both want to work with each other?
• What mannerisms or comments of the therapist put you off, didn't you like?

 

[anthony]

Do you know what really annoys me the most about this? The person posted, and before even I responded, they had started the account deletion process. So everyone wasted their time giving this person the time of day... though hopefully it helps someone else in the future. Frustrating...

 

[PurpleSurvivor]

Do you know what really annoys me the most about this? The person posted, and before even I responded, they had started the account deletion process. So everyone wasted their time giving this person the time of day... though hopefully it helps someone else in the future. Frustrating...

It helped me. I was just about to start a similar thread and saw this one. It's not the first time for me but the first time for 3 years and I only have bad experiences in the past. But to honor the request that I'd take care of myself I decided to make an appointment this week.

The hardest thing seems to be to explain why I'm seeking help. Feels like I have more reasons than I can sum up during the session. I'll probably mention that "take care of yourself"-part and take it from there.

 

[Suzetig]

It's so difficult to explain why you're there at this time looking for this kind of help. I found most recently I started to explain, got very upset and then instinctively went with the therapists response to my very strong emotions. I hadn't planned to become so upset, it seemed to come from her very empathic response to what felt like an impossible situation - I booked a further session with her and she's been brilliant for me. I guess what I'm saying is, for me finding the right person has been a victory of gut instinct over common sense, although there were a couple of people I tried out and didnt engage with. Good luck with your search.

 

[Fadeaway]

@anthony While I am not seeing a therapist for the first time, I am seeing a new therapist tomorrow, and I am a nervous wreck, because I need it to go well. So while the replies may have not helped the original poster, they have helped me.