How To Cope With Suicidal Voice

[braggle]

Hi all,

I'm not quite sure if this is normal or not but I have different voices in my head that are like the different aspects of me. Almost like I'm not a whole person but several different parts that would make up a whole if they all merged together.

Anyway the last few days the self pittying victim has been incessant telling me we should kill ourselves. ( I'm aware writing this that I sound like a crazy person!) She won't stop goading me, and rational is stepping in so there is constant chatter in my head.

I guess what I'm asking is if anyone else has this and how do you quiet them?

 

[Hope4future]

Sounds all too familiar. I don't have a solution, but a technique that helps is an absolute no. When the voice starts to chatter, the only response you give it is, "No!" over and over again. It's annoying, but over time it can quiet the voice for a moment anyway.

Hang in there.

 

[braggle]

Thanks Hope4future I will try that. I've always tried to just ignore and not engage with any voices but thats obviously not working so I will try this approach.

 

[Ellabella44]

you can ask the others to help you, especially a "protector" aspect. I wrote down some ground rules for mine and asked the protector self to help me keep things in order and organized. these are other parts of you that you are conscious of so try some communication. it helped me alot to give each one something that makes them secure as well like a piece of clothing to wear. I have grounding objects ( my rings) which arent familiar to my past selves but to current self and one rule is that they have to be put on in the morning and touching them makes me conscious of now when im back in something in my past.

 

[braggle]

Thanks Ellabella, this is all really new to me. I've always had the experience of someone else taking over for me when I get stressed and I've never really been able to remember it. Its only recently after coming off of a strong dose of a psychotropic drug that I was wrongly kept on for years that I seem to have more insight into the other parts in me. I know that sounds like I'm having a psychotic reaction but having experienced both I can easily tell the difference.
I have fought with my protector part not to take over when I am scared, with things like doctors appointments because she won't tell them about the actual problems I am experiencing. So I guess I now need to ask for her help.
How do you go about communicating with your other?

 

[Go Hungry]

All the time. Seriously, all the time for the past 30 years. It is so lame. I've grown accustomed to it for the most part. I know who it is inside of me, and why he's like that. I just ignore it for the most part. But as I said, I've had 30 years to get used to it.

I love @Ellabella44 rings suggestion. I may have to try something like that myself.

And I love your pic, Tankgirl FTW!

 

[Ellabella44]

I wrote a letter to the protector one, thats pretty much all i did. a friend who has similar situation to myself encouraged me to communicate because her therapist had and it ended up pretty peaceful for her. She said that the talked to her protector self to help her get everything together. That she was told that they wanted and needed her to take control of the situation, and "parent" them.

I had a fight with my protector one over whether to talk about ptsd and the situation with my husband. She didnt think he could take it and stay. Ended up glossing over them as how i feel when remembering things that come up in flashbacks and therapy in a session with my therapist and him.

She is very hypervigilant. I mostly have the others push forwards and become gradually more and more co conscious. And i try to talk to them then and soothe fears and grief, etc. Well its kind of being well their adult friend. ( i hesitate to say mother because well mine is not that great)

Some rules : If you dont come out at bad times for me, I will give you time to be out, schedule it.

Rings have to go on first thing in the morning no matter who is waking up.

When the physical body needs sleep, we have to sleep or will end up sleeping when we could be out enjoying the day.

I also bought well big black womens combat boots this winter (makes two of them happy) , sleep with my daughters stuffed cat and my daughters blanket from when she was younger (shes 15 so has loaned them to me :) and it makes my grieving one and my youngest one happy). Things like that have helped me.

They have come out in therapy, its well about time those pieces had a voice. So going through alot in there when they get brought in. It tires me out when it happens, but theres alot of pain and poison to get out.

 

[braggle]

Go hungry, I'm sorry that this is something that you too have to contend with so often. I know this sounds awefull but its nice to know I'm not alone.

Ellabella thank you for your advice I will definitely give some though to some ground rules and try writing a letter. I think I need to find a therapist that can help me to get in touch with the different parts.

 

[Ellabella44]

i cant imagine 30 years of this , I guess im lucky to have found someone who had been through therapy for similar situation when I did. And also lucky that it worked for me.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Have you been diagnosed with DID?

This sounds like it's beyond the scope of ptsd.

 

[braggle]

Hi Solara, no I don't have a diagnosis of DID. I have always put this down to just dissociation due to the events that caused my PTSD but looked at it as part of the same thing rather than separate. But maybe you are right.

I have tried speaking to my doctor before but they haven't seemed that interested so I just stopped talking about it. But then I'm not the best at expressing myself. I think that I need to be more assertive in getting them to take notice of this.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

You could ask him if you could take one of the dissociative diagnostic tests.