How To Manage Group Member Not Doing Her Fair Share Of Work

[ms spock]

I did some solid work last night. I got a few things under control with our presentation. One of the women is not doing her fair share of work - I am not pleased about this but I am also not going to ruminate about it.

I am angry the woman is not doing her fair share of work and is leaving it until the last minute tonight. But I don't want to lash out but I am not sure how to manage this - because it isn't fair. But I feel like punishing her and having a go, obviously this is not appropriate - a lot of my interactions with other people are not appropriate though I am working hard to manage myself.

It is worth 40% of our mark - 20% as a group and 20% as an individual. She didn't come to a meeting Thursday because she had an essay due in on Friday at 12pm but according to other people in her class it was 12am - so I am reasonably sure was a lie but people lie when the aren't able to be assertive, I have done it.

I went to drop the film over to her yesterday - so we are giving a presentation based on the film.

I do like this woman, and I know that she has a lot on her plate, but at the same time I don't like being stuffed around.

I emailed her and the other woman last night, rang her at 1pm and texted her - she avoided all that and just texted me that she is going well with it and will ring me tonight and I texted back. Isn't your daughter back tonight? (She never can do many things because of her daughter - but she was out partying all last night) I don't want to leave this to finalise it in the morning. So quickly what are you doing and did you get it into ten minutes? (She hasn't replied but at least I made it clear I don't want anymore delays.) I am not going to say it is okay because, frankly, it is not okay for her to delay further even though, in reality (Radical Acceptance) this is what she will do. Ah well.

I edited the film clip down to precisely the two minutes that I have for my part.

Anyway I probably have to let it go and just get on with my part.

Any suggestions?

Cheers,
ms spock

 

[hodge]

That is frustrating. One reason I never liked group projects. I think you did the best thing for yourself by editing the film down to your part of the presentation. I don't know what else you could have done without causing discord. Hopefully, this class is over soon?

 

[Enaila]

We had an inservice yesterday discussing leadership types and collaboration such as that used for group projects. An interesting survey was done which used compass directions. For instance, north were the people who just jumped in and wanted to get things done. West were those who need to know the who, what, where, why, and how of things, devised a plan one they knew and then did it. Sometimes this took longer. South were the caring, make sure everyone was included type, and east ones who took their sweet time and generally waited to last minute, but got it done. I learned I am a west and my colleague I have the most difficulty getting along with its east.

The group member may indeed be staying up to get the work done as she is type who works best under pressure. Group projects done correctly can be beneficial for sure, but frustrating if you are paired with a member with such a different learning style.

I don't have the article or survey paper here at home. It is interesting and helped me understand my colleagues, as well as myself, better. I will send info. if I can find it.

 

[Enaila]

This is the information in a presentation like format. It helps one define what type of leader you are and understand others more.

Compass Leadership Activity

If you have to do any more group projects, set up norms with the group at first meeting so expectations are clear and members feel more confident in the rules they have as well as meeting deadlines.

 

[ms spock]

Thanks @hodge and @Enaila - it seems my text was enough - I went over to see her and she was doing the work. I just need to pare mine down now. So it is all happening.

 

[scout86]

I don't think of myself as being very good dealing with people, so don't take my thoughts on this TOO seriously, because I'm probably wrong..... When I read your initial post, I tried to put myself in both your place and hers and wonder about what would work. The two lines below struck me.

She didn't come to a meeting Thursday because she had an essay due in on Friday at 12pm but according to other people in her class it was 12am - so I am reasonably sure was a lie but people lie when the aren't able to be assertive, I have done it.

I do like this woman, and I know that she has a lot on her plate, but at the same time I don't like being stuffed around.

Those 2 lines said, to me, that you view her with compassion, yet you see what she's doing and it's a problem. Having that communicated to me would probably get my attention.

Cool that you got her moving! You're pretty amazing, the way you tackle this stuff!!

 

[ms spock]

Thanks for your feedback @scout86

It is hard to deal with - I am ambivalent after today. It is done. It did go really well! I did well. The other two women did well. But the skip out left straight away and I was a bit cross about that because if she had stayed for 10-20 minutes we could have finished the lesson plan and handed it in - we got let out of class an hour early so she had childcare for her kid - so now I have to chase her again - but am I being too critical - and why would I spend this much time thinking about it.

Anyway I was the most present I have been ever in a presentation, and I did rather well. Need to improve my questioning but it is all on the learning curve!

 

[ms spock]

I still am having moments of resentment! But maybe it is my expecting too much and being too giving - than her perhaps self care? I don't know it is something I am weighing up.

 

[Enaila]

Your project is done and turned in yes? Being resentful won't bother her any and you have worked hard on self-compassion...don't allow her the power to affect that. ((Hugs))

 

[ms spock]

The project is done - some small amount of work has been done to hand it in - I will do that.

Good Point @Enaila - time to let it go!

 

[pixel]

@Enaila thanks for the great reference re: group dynamics and leadership.
Very helpful!

@Ms Spock did you get a chance to look at it yet?

The section I find difficult is trying to pinpoint who would be East, West etc. I mean, it's written with such lovely adjectives that I can't identify who would be in which category! :wacky:

 

[Enaila]

People have to pick one which is most like them. There may be adjectives from one group which fit, but have to choose one which has most to describe you. There are other similar group dynamic type surveys on line as well. Another you pick a set of adjectives which describe you and get a color. It seems pretty accurate. (We did this one in my Instructional Coaching class to help us realize how to work with people with different personalities.) It helps relieve some stress when working with others, if you have some understanding of what motivates them.