How To Manage Group Member Not Doing Her Fair Share Of Work

[ms spock]

I don't know - I have intrusive thoughts about it at times. Got two pieces of work due in this week. I will try and refocus.

Most likely it is because I am beginning to move towards having my own limits and boundaries. I am working out how to be assertive rather than fawning/frozen or attacking. So it keeps going around and around.

It could just be Generalised Anxiety Disorder stuff as well.

I am also still really angry with R and I realise that being angry with her has really stuffed me up big times in terms of not noticing what was going on right in front of my nose. My rumination has wasted a lot of time in the last couple of weeks.

It was actually meant to be handed in last Monday night - the lecturer gave different directions - yes I know that they really can't do that - but she did. The thing is if R wasn't so busy playing withholding games or she had taken the time to contribute without having to be chased up - it wouldn't have happened. I am really pissed about it. And I shouldn't have had to chase up all that stuff but the reality is that our presentation wouldn't have been as good as it was if I hadn't done that.

 

[pixel]

It's hard hey.

We're adults and supposed to be working with adults, but it's like dealing with children.

I'm sorry you're suffering through this :unsure: So is it done, handed in? Its useful to reflect on how we could've handled things differently, but Ms Spock, move on to the next assignment honey, and at weeks end take time to reflect. It's too hard when we are in the middle.
Wastes energy.

At the end of the day, YOU are the one who worked professionally, YOU behaved as the competent, responsible adult and YOU are the one who grows stronger and matures. As sucky as assignments are, they provide a medium for tremendous person growth.

 

[Enaila]

I had a similar problem with a co-worker for past few years. I left one school I taught at because I was doing all the work and she was getting all the credit. She moved to same school I moved to and same thing started again. My stuff always done and she just slaps stuff together. It had been taking all my energy and I didn't like how I was feeling.

Over the summer, you helped me learn to be more mindful and care more for myself. I decided I was no longer going to let her dictate how I felt or how I reacted to things. This is the first year since I can remember when I have actually been able to enjoy my job again. My annoying colleague doesn't know what to think as she no longer can push my buttons and more people are noticing me as I am more outgoing and positive.

You can only be ultimately responsible for yourself. School work can be stressful....I get that. Have you told her directly how you feel?

 

[ms spock]

I got the highest marks for both parts of the assessment! I am stoked that individually and as a group that we got that!

I won't have to work with her again, most likely, she did ask if she had been hard to work as a group member and I just didn't answer and said it is a learning experience for us all, and we laughed a lot. I actually gave her support after class over her daughter's disabilities.

I am still cross in some ways but hopefully I will get time to actually get over this now.

All my hard work paid off - for the best and hardest marker! So important!

Thanks @Enaila!

 

[Enaila]

Congratulations Ms. Spock on your high marks! Lol. If you have the kind of luck I do, you may indeed have to work with her again. **ducks** Do you have a lot of classes left? Are you working on a degree?

 

[ms spock]

LOL @Enaila

Yes a degree!

 

[ms spock]

Ironically I found out today that this woman is looking at applying to a school that I am thinking of applying to - when someone suggested I might have to work with her again I thought "No Way - that would Never happen!" We finish in a couple of months.

 

[pixel]

If I was on the interview panel, I know who I would hire :cool:

 

[Enaila]

I thought that too at one time. It is a small world we live in. The lady I had/have issues with had over 250 schools to pick from in the city and she just had to come to school I am at.

 

[ms spock]

Indeed! The world is a small place!

 

[Powder]

I've never had a group or pair collaboration in which this didn't happen. When it was optional to do my own, that's what I always did.

I suppose it's because people have very different definitions of "doing their best" for the group. These same people view themselves as "victims" all the time, even when they are not. It's part of how they see themselves, and so doing less seems only fair to them. Or they have narcissism and feel they are above "that work" and that all of you can absorb it on their behalf.

I suspect that this all combines in the person, who requests an extension for every project or does everything in a state like you described, in which they have "more pressing" things to do.

This is why teachers become cold and merciless. Those requesting mercy usually do so at every possible juncture. It's not fair to everyone else and not good for them to train themselves to be late all the time.