My body has crashed on me, and it's been crashed for some time. On weekends I sleep all day....
My position is: If you don't have to do it, don't. Just do the bare minimum to maintain the things that are important to you and your well-being. I suffer more from overwhelm than depression. I don't always take a shower. A lot of times I just clean up with a wash cloth at the sink to get ready for work. As long as I don't stink, who cares if I take a shower?
When I used to live by myself, I lived in borderline squalor and I was so ashamed. I used to think of myself as a neat person trapped inside a messy person's body. I love things to be neat, clean and organized but found it impossible to maintain things due to the overwhelm of dealing with the PTSD. I noticed that when I wasn't stressed and didn't put pressure on myself I'd be more apt to clean. I can share more about that and how I got out of the messy cycle if you are interested.
Now that I am married, I'm still semi in the habit of letting the majority of my clothes sit in a pile, dirty, and tend to do wash only when I run out of stuff to wear, just washing the stuff I need for the week. It's the total opposite of how it's "supposed to be" done. But you know what, who cares? I keep my dirty clothes in my own bathroom so they don't bother anyone else and as long as I have stuff to wear, I'm good.
I did used to experience major depressive episodes many years ago. Here was my game plan back then: (I took a lot of this from a response I wrote to someone on a different forum).
Make yourself the biggest priority.
By this, I don't mean that you should be a total jerk to everyone. Simply make sure you are catering to your basic needs first. They tell you that if you are in a plane crash that you should put the air mask on yourself first before you help the person next to you.
If you are a parent, realize there are differences between a child's needs and a child's wants. Make sure their needs are met in one way or another, but don't be afraid to solicit help in this area. If you are depressed, it could be easy to feel guilty about not giving your child, or any person that depends on you, everything that they want.
Cut out unnecessary things, even volunteer work or helping people. T
ake a break from those that are zapping your energy, so that you can focus more on healing yourself.
Ultimately you can make a bigger impact on others and the world if you are coming from a place of wholeness. You are making an investment for everyone's future by taking care of yourself today. Each person has their own resources.
If you are a perfectionist, realize that when you half-ass things, the results may be just as good as someone else's best work. Give yourself permission to
let go of perfectionism.
Prioritize everything! And strategize how to do the things that matter to you.Make yourself the CEO of your well-being and treat every self-care task as hugely important as if your "business" of taking care of you depends on it. I know someone who was so depressed they had to notate on their calendar when they took a shower. It's much harder for a depressed person to do routine things so cut out the non-essentials, and make the essentials easier on yourself and more pleasant. So maybe you'll want to take a relaxing bath and light a scented candle instead of your shower. Indulge is some items that make you feel good as you follow your routine. Figure out a hairstyle that looks good but that doesn't require as much effort if looking good is important to you. But if you don't care about how others perceive you and just care about not having body odor, then screw it and just head out the door with wet hair. Who cares!?
When you're depressed or anxious its harder to keep a clear head and juggle tasks mentally.
Keep yourself organized. Put all time obligations on a calendar because you're likely to forget things. Determine how much time you need for yourself and make a commitment to accommodate that. So if you need at least one day of nothing planned on the weekend, and someone asks you to do something, block out Sunday for example, and only commit to things for that Saturday. Learn creative ways of saying no.
Write everything you need to do down and cross things off your list. Don't be afraid to eliminate tasks that are not essential.
Give yourself permission to live at your own pace. This is your journey. It is not a race. Sometimes depression is a sign that our soul wants us to slow down, take care of ourselves, and reflect on an underlying issue.
To add to the above:
Watch things that make you laugh or feel a glimmer of feeling good. I used to watch funny youtube videos of babies and kittens all of the time.
As for all of the sleeping: Are you sleeping because you are physically tired or sleeping because you trying to escape the depression?
Constant long term stress can wear done on your body and make you physically need sleep. However, back when I was depressed, I used to sleep to take a break from feeling bad. I found that other activities were much more beneficial, like journaling or hiking in nature. If I had known about meditation back then, I would have tried it. I did go to a free yoga class once when I was in a major depressive episode and I was amazed that it lifted my depression for several hours! An alternative to sleeping could also be video games and you can do them at home. I notice when I am anxious, I play tons of candy crush on my phone. I used to feel guilty about it but then I read that they did a study that showed that video games were helpful for PTSD.
You have a lot on your shoulders. If someone had a backpack full of bricks, you wouldn't expect them to run a marathon. PTSD and/or depression can feel like wearing a backpack full of bricks, so the stuff you are describing - wanting to sleep and not doing much is perfectly normal!!! Hopefully you will figure out how to lighten your load little by little as you continue on your healing journey. But until then, try to be gentle on yourself.
