How To Respond To This

[deer_in_headlights]

Hi. You did the absolute perfect action by reporting this to the police. Great!

I would NOT push for a public apology - that would only escalate the individual and mark you and fellow housemates as enemies, in the note-writer's eyes. Keep taking notes, but appear to drop the matter, in order to de-escalate the situation.

You might want to read Gavin DeBecker's book: "The Gift of Fear". This book, and Mr. Becker's advice was life-saving for me when a stalker latched onto me. It doesn't encourage you to be frightened out of your wits - on the contrary, it is very supportive and affirming in what you are experiencing, and helps you stay safe.
The note reminds me of some of the weird thinking the stalker had. Btw, my stalker was very bright, and "fooled" everyone for a long time with appearing to be "normal".

The heater incident would be enough to bring out the inner weirdness and aggression from an unstable person.

 

[Phoenix(not)]

I wish I could post the jpg image as it really is even wierder seeing it. My first thoughts was someone who was out of his mid on some substance, The lines are not entirely parallel and in parts, some extra words seem to have been squeezed in. Good question.

This is day five of this "awkward" time and I wish I could see a way out for everyone. The air needs to be cleared somehow and surely the best way is for the perp to become known but somehow also be able to save face. It ha disturbed one feale a lot. She keeps asking me if I know who it is yet as if somehow I can resolve this. It may well fizzle out to nothing but for me with this set of people, life will not be the same.

I placed the Police Report in view (but not prominent) at the back of my cupboard (glass front) and I know someone has removed it to read what it says. Nother poo nights sleep ahead.Maybe tomorrow house owner will respond.

Thank you all once again for your valued input.

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Please, please, please try to get Gavin DeBecker's book.

You, and your housemates will be much safer if you put into place his safety recommendations, than if you do what "feels best in the moment". I know you want to feel better right away, but expecting an apology to make things right is what sane people expect... Not how someone who acts like this will react to.

I started off the wrong way in dealing with someone similar. We naturally want apologies, resolution and immediate justice, comfort, safety and control.
The advice from Gavin DeBecker, psychologists, and our lawyer set me straight and protected me, and my loved ones.

If you google Gavin DeBecker, he has a good website. Please, please don't wave anymore red flags in the cabinet, until you have learned more about keeping you and your housemates safe. Please!

P.S. Your female housemate, you too, might be interested in learning about IMPACT Model Mugging. Learning effective, street-level self-defense, and how to defuse tensions and de-escalate situations are very helpful skills to have. I mention this because it helped me tremendously re the stalker, and to save you months of stumbling around in the dark. These types of courses are available in many places. You want padded instructors, not pretty, formalized routines.

 

[scout86]

My first thought was "you're dealing with a crazy person". Or someone who wants you to think that. My second thought was "It was on the floor. Could it have ended up there by accident?" Just a thought. If someone wanted to clearly address it to you, seems like they'd have stuck it on the door or under the door. On the floor, it COULD have fallen out of a notebook or something. And perhaps now the writer is too embarrassed to admit to being the writer?

Either way, it seems like you have at least one odd roommate. And the guy who took the heater into his room probably doesn't get the concept of "sharing" real well.

Is the native English speaker a Muslim? Just curious. I've actually know people who would throw things like his question about knowing what IS is into a conversation, apparently to try to freak people out. (A lot of the time it worked. And my own opinion was the person was worth being concerned about.) What I'm saying is, all of that could be taken as a threat, but it could be used by someone who's not a Muslim as well as someone who is. And, some people are all talk, some aren't. There's something a bit off about them, either way.

Do you have a lock on your bedroom door? Just for the sake of feeling a bit safer. I'd check into being about to lock my door.

 

[Phoenix(not)]

Thanks for the info deer_in_headlight. I'll check out the Gavin DeBecker's book: "The Gift of Fear" - I guess it'll be in our library and can check online (and make a reservation).

Thanks too scout86. The note had my name written at the top (in ball point pen - the body of the letter was in thick felt tip pen). The guy who took the heater is a New Zealander and the only other native English speaker. My girlfriend thinks (and always has) he is creepy. I recognised this and always have maintained a polite but minimal contact, since the time he asked what is IS. At the time, I thought he was playing me for a fool. The muslim lady is the one doing her PhD in a medical field i.e. caring profession and the one most visibly (and genuinely) disturbed by this event.

I worked and lived in a muslim country for three years. I actually found muslim people to be more friendly, courteous and genuine than most other places I've lived and worked but we cannot generalise about entire populations.

 

[Phoenix(not)]

I see Gavin DeBecker has a lot of Videos on YouTube. He is an excellent public speaker and communicator. I now completely understand why you recommend his book. I thought I would let other know too there are good videos available online too.