How To Stop Dissociation??

[zaniara]

I'm in traumatherapy right now, and since we started working with the traumas(just two of them up till now) and I'm trying to expose my self I public(have a lot of avoidance-behaviors) I'm dissociating a lot more. And the anxiety I can handle, but I don't know how to break the dissociation or stop it from happening! Is there someone who know how to??

 

[Phenioxrising]

It's something you have to learn to control. However, I have found that I randomly dissociate when I'm in a small room with someone I don't know. That can't be helped, and memory of the event is delayed. you get more control of it, the more memories you process. Till then try go out in public places with fewer people.

 

[zaniara]

Thank you for the answer! :) Yes, I understand that working with the memories will help some.. But the therapist is pushing me to expose my self more, so I'm trying. But yesterday it was in a place thats pretty calm and not with to much people, and still it didnt go so well.. :( dissociated.. Not "completely", but all the people around seemed unreal and I "saw" shadows.. (memories?) Tried to just breath and relax, but it didnt help. Had to stop.. But I guess its about taking "baby-steps".. Found pages on internet yesterday that talked about "grounding".. Never heard of it before, but I think I found som tips there.. I guess I just have to work on it!

The strange thing is that my Therapist dont seem to know anything about how to stop it.. Asked him for som tips,but he just said dissociation is hard.. (??) But he's good on everything else, so I'm sticking with the therapy..

I apologize if my language is not all that good! (from a nordic country.. :) )

 

[zaniara]

Oh.. my T (Therapist) DID know some ways to stop it.. :) At least he helped me do it during the therapy session yesterday.. It was BAD yesterday. Dissociated so much DURING therapy! Don't know exactly what happened, but memories started crashing in (from more than one trauma), and was 90% not there and very agitated.. My T couldn't make sense of what I was saying really, and tried to make me look him in the eyes, but I couldn't focus even though I really tried! But he DID manage to help me out of it. Most of it at least.. (was like 20% still not grounded when I went home.. but managed do find a friend to be with, and it helped so that I got 100% calm eventually)

I think the fact that he touch my hand helped.. It was the first time ever he touched me, and it helped, but if i had touched me like 20 sec. more, I would have panicked even more!

This really scares me! Don't like to loose control! And for years I have managed somehow (but I was never really "well"; and had a lot of chaos in my life; but struggled to work etc.) by being tense and on my toes, so to speak. And I got some help for my anxiety, and thought life was "good enough".. And I didn't have so much problems with dissociation. But then this last crime happened.. and I couldn't cope anymore. - So happy for getting this traumatherapy!! But its seems as if the fact that I'm trying to stop being so tense, and start relaxing more, is making the dissociation come back in such an intense form!! :(


Babysteps, I guess.. just don't understand, why the dissociation is coming back so strongly..

 

[Philippa]

Maybe because you are working on it, focussing on it? I don't know really, but that might be a plausible reason?

 

[zaniara]

Thanks for the answer! :) But I was not working on it, I was working on the avoiding-behaviors.. And then this.. *sigh* Well.. one day at time I guess..

 

[safenow]

The only way I have found to stop dissociation is to relax and face what is going on. When the stress is too high, dissociation is a given. So work on reducing the stress in your life. And don't forget to breathe.

 

[Phenioxrising]

Yes, it is all about breathing.

I've noticed to that if you notice your vision doubling, if you concentrate, you can shake it off.

 

[Hashi]

Found pages on internet yesterday that talked about "grounding".. Never heard of it before, but I think I found som tips there.. I guess I just have to work on it! The strange thing is that my Therapist dont seem to know anything about how to stop it.. Asked him for som tips,but he just said dissociation is hard.. (??)

Oh.. my T (Therapist) DID know some ways to stop it.. At least he helped me do it during the therapy session yesterday.

I'm concerned that it seems from what you say that your therapist is doing trauma therapy with you, including exposure therapy, and has not worked with you on grounding. It's not just about your therapist helping you in a session. You need to be have a toolkit you can use yourself, whenever you need it.

You need grounding, coping, calming and relaxation skills. You need to practise these and be familiar with them before doing exposure therapy, so you're ready to use them. Otherwise, you risk all sorts of responses like dissociation, and possibly retraumatisation.

I suggest you talk again to your therapist about grounding and coping skills. You seem to be confident in him generally, and I don't understand why he doesn't seem to have a response when you ask about dissociation. Is he a specialist trauma therapist? At any rate, I think you need to emphasise to him how important this is to you, and share what you have found out so far from the internet. This is something you will have to practise yourself, but in my opinion your therapist needs to be aware and needs to be helping you.

 

[zaniara]

I'm concerned that it seems from what you say that your therapist is doing trauma therapy with you, including exposure therapy, and has not worked with you on grounding. It's not just about your therapist helping you in a session. You need to be have a toolkit you can use yourself, whenever you need it.

Thank you for the replies! And Hashi: I was a bit puzzled by his answer the first time I brought it up.. But he has talked to me about relaxation-exercises, and about that I should keep doing the yoga I'm doing regularly. Maybe he thought that was enough? Grounding though seem to be a bit more than just relaxation. And sometimes relaxations make the dissociation worse.. I brought it up last time, and told him I've been reading on internet about "grounding"; so we discussed it. In my home-country(a Nordic country) they dont seem to discuss grounding/dissociation as much as they seem to do in other country's.. (didnt find one single page about grounding in my own language!) - He has 16 years as a trauma-therapist in a the center for trauma-therapy, so I think I will trust his competence anyhow.. (I didn't have much trouble with this kind of dissociation in the beginning; its getting worse the deeper we dig and the more I relax.. strangely enough..) He talked about being gentle with me, last time we met, and that he doesnt want to re-traumatize me.. (maybe he didn't believe I could dissociate that much before he saw it..)

If stress creates more dissociation I guess it's the stress right now from working with the traumas that's kick-starting the dissociation some days.. But the last days it has been dead-calm. :) And I managed to avoid one big one the other day by trying some of the tips I've got. - I guess that I on the other hand need to work with the traumas; so that the complex PTSD will heal(since it in it self is a "stress"-factor).

 

[safenow]

I glad you trust your therapist, but please, practice breathing. It is so important when you are dealing with trauma healing to quickly calm yourself. I agree with his assertion that you need to be gentle with yourself. That is very important. He sound like he cares.

 

[zaniara]

safenow: thank you! :) I'm really trying to breathe, but when I get like that.. like foggy somehow, it all happen so fast and last time it didnt work trying to breathe, it didnt help.. It didnt help to try to look at things around me or listen for sounds either.. but I mangage to snap out of it by hugging my self and patting my arms(butterfly-hug they call it) and talking to my self about where I were, what year it was, saying the words "it happened back then its not happening now" and stuff like that for a couple of minutes. I guess different stuff work each time..​

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He is caring- and sometimes it freaks me out!! Dont know why... Have no problem with people treating be badly, but freaks out when they're nice.. (when he said he saw that I wanted him to be gentle with me, I denied it! *s* )​