Upside Down Eagle
MyPTSD Pro
I guess this is related to my previous post about breaking ties with people.
I´ve always been attracted, in real life, to people who did not have time for me, even though they were otherwise people I got along with great. So eventually I adapted to hanging out with people I don´t really care for all that much. As a kind of surrogate.
I talked about this with a friend and he said: "I´m sorry to tell you this, but you have really low self-worth. You basically tell people: look here I am, but I am really too much trouble". And then that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Nobody has ever hit the nail on the head quite like this. I was always "too much", "too much effort to feed properly", "too much effort to listen to", "too much effort to hug" and that shit list continues into oblivion. Basically yeah I feel like I am "too much".
I also noticed recently that when I am in a group, doing some activity with people, I feel guilty for even existing. I have dreams about it too.
Can somebody tell me, what can I do to reprogram this? Are there any practical steps I can take towards appreciating my own presence?
I´ve always been attracted, in real life, to people who did not have time for me, even though they were otherwise people I got along with great. So eventually I adapted to hanging out with people I don´t really care for all that much. As a kind of surrogate.
I talked about this with a friend and he said: "I´m sorry to tell you this, but you have really low self-worth. You basically tell people: look here I am, but I am really too much trouble". And then that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Nobody has ever hit the nail on the head quite like this. I was always "too much", "too much effort to feed properly", "too much effort to listen to", "too much effort to hug" and that shit list continues into oblivion. Basically yeah I feel like I am "too much".
I also noticed recently that when I am in a group, doing some activity with people, I feel guilty for even existing. I have dreams about it too.
Can somebody tell me, what can I do to reprogram this? Are there any practical steps I can take towards appreciating my own presence?