How to work with co-workers who hate each other's guts?

[ms spock]

The thing is they want to develop their teaching programme and get more kids in, but they are the biggest obstacles to any development or progress.

It wouldn't be hard to do. But whilst they are behaving like they are behaving it is impossible for them to make any progress.

 

[ms spock]

I got some work at a local High School today! So it is a non issue. I just emailed the two women telling them this and saying I would catch up with them as the week goes on! So I don't have to see them today!

 

[HealingInProcess]

Yes I will write more emails about this to them all. And I will write about Disability Discrimination.


She's just gotten old and she is not wanting to be old, and she won't let go of her baby which is the education side of things, which I understand! She can't cope with stress or things deviating from what she thinks they should be. She's terribly disorganised, and all over the place on one hand, but she is an incredibly talented and creative teacher on the other hand.


I haven't spacked out, lost my shit, gotten angry and quit and left, or had a go at anyone. I am doing really well. I needed to have gone in with a little less enthusiasm and not too many good ideas. I think I overwhelmed them, on one hand but on the other hand I have a range of quite sophisticated skills and we could have put in for a lot of grants by now. So they have wasted my time and wasted a valuable resource.

I can really see why most teachers quit after one day with these two.

Ah yes Parth I too know what it is to be full of ideas that people don't want to hear. I say apply them in your own business!

 

[ms spock]

You are so right @HealingInProcess! You are so right!

Doing really well!

I had a totally full on day. I taught really well in 3 classes, like I got student engagement and had some great discussions.

First half of lunch a student have a meltdown & disclosed stuff, second half of lunch I did lunch duty.

OMG I had one totally wild class that was pretty much out of control, next door teacher came & helped me out 3 times, Might be a big cross against my name? We had a room change, and I was calling one student the wrong name, and he came up and told me his name at the end, and I had been reprimanding the wrong student! Egads! But learning 30 names from one roll call is pretty hard!

I reported the student's disclosure after school. It's a complex issues.

Scoffed my lunch at 3.30pm because it was the first time I had stopped all day!

I got home to a message from another school. I have put my hand up to do it all again tomorrow -if she didn't fill it after she left a message for me.

I kept hitting sixes all day! I did really well!

 

[ms spock]

And casual work is not as scary as it once was after what I dealt with on Friday.

Hey I did really well today, so Friday was a brilliant experience for me! It made me most willing to jump out of my comfort zone! And I did really well with it!

 

[ms spock]

The two co workers who hate each other's guts won't be a problem for that long. I wish I wasn't committed to the two angry 65 year old and angry 85 year old because the school that I went to today is much, much better conditions, pay, and situation. But I will honour my commitments for the next 8 weeks and I won't commit for next term. It simply is not worth it. But I will leave on good terms.

I went to a completely different school today. It was brilliant. I didn't even get lessons to teach but I came up with a program of my own. I taught off my own intuition and just guided my lessons around the students interests and enthusiasm. I taught for four hours entirely from my own frame of reference and creativity. I did a great job. The students did some great work for me. So I had 8 different periods today, and by period 5/6 I was thinking I was going to lose my voice because I had done so much talking because all the kids had finished their work, and then they wanted to discuss things with me. They were so curious and excited. By 5/6th period they were so about to jump out of their skins I was so grateful that we took them out to play sport because they so needed it! All the kids engaged, had fun, and did their work. It was excellent! They were Year 7 absolutely gorgeous in Term 1 (by Term 4 things will be different, but right now they are delightful)!

I had the Year 8s for 7/8th periods and they were beautiful as well. I got them straight into work, and then went around and asked each student how their day was and what they enjoyed and I read everyone's answer's but two of them. So they all completed their work, so I gave them 10 minutes to play on their phones as reward. They had worked really hard, and had done some great work (within their ability).

The two co workers who hate each other's guts won't be a problem for that long.

 

[Friday]

the school that I went to today is much, much better conditions, pay, and situation. But I will honour my commitments for the next 8 weeks and I won't commit for next term.

You may wish to reconsider this.

Not necessarily, but it’s worth looking at if honoring commitments made despite changing circumstance (a hostile work envronment, an abusive spouse, etc.) or even because the situation feels familiar (either the dysfunction is comfortable, or moral high ground is seductive, or taking revenge on past actors by trauma re-enacting since you feel more in Control & know you’re better than this) all whilst screwing yourself out of a much better opportunity? Is cutting off your nose to spite your face.

You don’t have to stay somewhere that treats you badly... just because you said you would before you knew how they were going to treat you. That’s when people usually look for better opportunities, rather than turn them down.

It’s honorable to leave a bad job, on finding it to be a bad job.

 

[HealingInProcess]

The two co workers who hate each other's guts won't be a problem for that long. I wish I wasn't committed to the two angry 65 year old and angry 85 year old because the school that I went to today is much, much better conditions, pay, and situation. But I will honour my commitments for the next 8 weeks and I won't commit for next term. It simply is not worth it. But I will leave on good terms.

I went to a completely different school today. It was brilliant. I didn't even get lessons to teach but I came up with a program of my own. I taught off my own intuition and just guided my lessons around the students interests and enthusiasm. I taught for four hours entirely from my own frame of reference and creativity. I did a great job. The students did some great work for me. So I had 8 different periods today, and by period 5/6 I was thinking I was going to lose my voice because I had done so much talking because all the kids had finished their work, and then they wanted to discuss things with me. They were so curious and excited. By 5/6th period they were so about to jump out of their skins I was so grateful that we took them out to play sport because they so needed it! All the kids engaged, had fun, and did their work. It was excellent! They were Year 7 absolutely gorgeous in Term 1 (by Term 4 things will be different, but right now they are delightful)!

I had the Year 8s for 7/8th periods and they were beautiful as well. I got them straight into work, and then went around and asked each student how their day was and what they enjoyed and I read everyone's answer's but two of them. So they all completed their work, so I gave them 10 minutes to play on their phones as reward. They had worked really hard, and had done some great work (within their ability).

The two co workers who hate each other's guts won't be a problem for that long.

This is a tricky one. I agree one should honor one's commitments and would stick around if it works for your mental health but not if it doesn't.

 

[Ronin]

Besides, you were honoring your commitments... to the non abusive job that you started working at.

The development of the situation? You made no promises to work under these conditions.
Own word matters, but it also matters under which conditions it is given, and at which time.
You made no word for how things turned out to be, and even honoring what you committed to does not really ask for staying.

 

[ms spock]

Okay well seeing I did not really need to keep the job on Fridays I thought I would practise a little bit of assertiveness. And I was brave and got my partner to read my emails so I sent an email about how I felt confused and disillusioned and that I didn't like the way I was talked to. So I got okay responses, and whilst the 85 year old tried to turn it on me and say I was unreliable (which I was able to as I put it "respectfully disagree" and so the 85 year old backed down and said "we would talk next week" and the 65 year old was careful on how she spoke to me, and she made a point of thanking me for coming yesterday.

 

[ms spock]

Not necessarily, but it’s worth looking at if honoring commitments made despite changing circumstance (a hostile work environment, an abusive spouse, etc.) or even because the situation feels familiar (either the dysfunction is comfortable, or moral high ground is seductive, or taking revenge on past actors by trauma re-enacting since you feel more in Control & know you’re better than this) all whilst screwing yourself out of a much better opportunity? Is cutting off your nose to spite your face.

That's so true.

That is really food for thought!

You don’t have to stay somewhere that treats you badly... just because you said you would before you knew how they were going to treat you. That’s when people usually look for better opportunities, rather than turn them down.

That's so true!

It’s honorable to leave a bad job, on finding it to be a bad job.

Thank you for giving me validation for that. Thank you validating me for the point that if it's abusive I can just leave. That is really useful to me right now! Heya @The Albatross is this of interest to you?

This is a tricky one. I agree one should honor one's commitments and would stick around if it works for your mental health but not if it doesn't.

That's a good point!

@HealingInProcess that is true! If it is not working for my mental health it isn't worth. The great thing now is I don't really need this job anymore. There are other opportunities! However it was good to practise assertiveness and after my partner checked my email and pointed to the angry bits that needed to be deleted (it was good to get it out) I sent two assertive emails. And then I fronted up when I didn't want to be there and was anxious about the situation. It worked out surprisingly well. So I am practising skills which is great - most people would do this type of stuff under ten years old. So even though it was stressful. It was also good, because if I stuff it up it's not that big of a deal. But I didn't stuff it up. I actually did really well.

Besides, you were honoring your commitments... to the non abusive job that you started working at.

It is so helpful that you are saying this to me because it let's me off the hook. It is common sense but of course common sense sometimes eludes the traumatised.

The development of the situation? You made no promises to work under these conditions.
Own word matters, but it also matters under which conditions it is given, and at which time.
You made no word for how things turned out to be, and even honoring what you committed to does not really ask for staying.

I did not promise to work under these conditions, that is true. The conditions were appalling and I can see why teachers work one day with this pair and then don't come back.

 

[Ronin]

It is common sense but of course common sense sometimes eludes the traumatised.

Nah :sneaky:
I mean, do not beat yourself up for it...
Because situations are difficult while in them. They are difficult enough in a hind sight, much less when freshly entrenched in everything.

It is good you are reaching out for reality checks and communicate about where you at.