ProudWife99
Gold Member
Took me four tries. :roflmao:
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General How Well Do You Sleep, As A Supporter
- Post starter amethist
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Inthistogether
New Here
I'm not sure how much of my disturbed sleep has to do with my husband's PTSD symptoms, but it certainly has much to do with his sleep apnea and snoring. That's not treated yet because we are waiting on our appointment with the VA pulmonologist.
Recently, we've stopped trying to force ourselves to stay in the same bed together all night if it's just not working. If he drinks too much and is sawing logs on the couch, I let him stay there instead of waking him and walking him to bed. If he starts snoring in the night and it wakes me up, I go out to the couch. I sleep comfortably there with sheet and blankets.
It does feel a bit sad to sleep apart, but we both make sure to acknowledge that it was out of need for rest, not anger or animosity.
Recently, we've stopped trying to force ourselves to stay in the same bed together all night if it's just not working. If he drinks too much and is sawing logs on the couch, I let him stay there instead of waking him and walking him to bed. If he starts snoring in the night and it wakes me up, I go out to the couch. I sleep comfortably there with sheet and blankets.
It does feel a bit sad to sleep apart, but we both make sure to acknowledge that it was out of need for rest, not anger or animosity.
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- #27
amethist
VIP Member
I slept well last night, as I was exhausted from lack of sleep the night before.
So in bed with Geranium oil by 7.30, up for a drink at around 4 am, then back until 5.30 am.
I feel so rested now. :tup:
So in bed with Geranium oil by 7.30, up for a drink at around 4 am, then back until 5.30 am.
I feel so rested now. :tup:
We both have sleep issues, due to his PTSD (and his dogs, but mostly his PTSD). Actually, mine could be a combination of several things... I know that last fall, I went to the health clinic on campus to see about getting medication to help with pretty much everything. I was near a breakdown as I wasn't sleeping well (waking up 3 - 5 times each night), extremely stressed about my classes, and worried about my fiance's health.
Rather than a prescription, the nurse there suggested that I start taking DHEA (an OTC supplement) to help me sleep. It's helped... But I've been taking it regularly for awhile now, and it is starting to be less effective.
As horrible as it sounds, some of the best sleep I had in the last few months was when my fiance was in jail. :( He had a DUI in January (was in the midst of an episode, and had to get out of the house... was in a car accident and arrested), and was picked up for public intoxication in February (at our church, during an "open gym" night). So those were two nights I was able to get decent sleep... And then when he served his sentence (four nights) last month. I knew where he was each of those nights, I knew he was safe, and didn't have to worry about him doing something he shouldn't have.
The last week or so, I haven't been sleeping well because he has been sleeping ON me. Have you ever seen the episode of Family Guy where Peter can't find Lois when he wakes up, and then he gets out of bed and walks out of the room, and you see Lois stuck to his back because he rolled on top of her in the night? It's about how I feel some nights. If it gets too bad, I go sleep on the couch, but if I leave the bedroom, I end up waking up the dogs and have to deal with letting them out and back in again. A few times, I've just grabbed my pillow and moved to sleep on his side of the bed. It really confused him the first time!
Rather than a prescription, the nurse there suggested that I start taking DHEA (an OTC supplement) to help me sleep. It's helped... But I've been taking it regularly for awhile now, and it is starting to be less effective.
As horrible as it sounds, some of the best sleep I had in the last few months was when my fiance was in jail. :( He had a DUI in January (was in the midst of an episode, and had to get out of the house... was in a car accident and arrested), and was picked up for public intoxication in February (at our church, during an "open gym" night). So those were two nights I was able to get decent sleep... And then when he served his sentence (four nights) last month. I knew where he was each of those nights, I knew he was safe, and didn't have to worry about him doing something he shouldn't have.
The last week or so, I haven't been sleeping well because he has been sleeping ON me. Have you ever seen the episode of Family Guy where Peter can't find Lois when he wakes up, and then he gets out of bed and walks out of the room, and you see Lois stuck to his back because he rolled on top of her in the night? It's about how I feel some nights. If it gets too bad, I go sleep on the couch, but if I leave the bedroom, I end up waking up the dogs and have to deal with letting them out and back in again. A few times, I've just grabbed my pillow and moved to sleep on his side of the bed. It really confused him the first time!
SeekingSerenity
Diamond Member
Ok, try not to get too bored... :p
I used to have no issues sleeping, could do it anytime, anyplace.
Then I was conscripted. Thought it a good idea to sign up permanently. And was flung into a war that knew no quarter. I saw and did things that appall and sadden me terribly, even today, almost 25 years later. That was when sleep first started evading me, the visions and memories as soon as the eyes closed. So I did what we all did then, I anaethetised them with alcohol. More and more was needed, until I would crash unconcious into a stupor.
Then the war ended, I was demobbed, I became a cop. Sleep slowly returned, but not for long. Again I saw things that haunted me, and the bottle again became my bedmate.
During this time I got married, a certain peace settled over me, and I abandoned the bottle. Things went ok for a couple of years.
I left the cops and went full-time into the pre-hospital medical field as a paramedic. Slowly the insomnia returned, but I had seen what the bottle was capable of doing, so I didn't go back there. I also know what the Benzo's and similar drugs do, so I steered well clear of them too. I learned to live with the lack of sleep, I slept when I could, I made do. Averaging 4 hours a night or so. But it took its toll. I know that it was a big contributing factor to the breakdown of my marriage.
I met a wonderful lady, things went well for a long time, and sleep slowly improved, up to about 6 hours a night. But she had nightmares, she would be awake, my snoring would keep her awake, and we ended up in separate rooms at night. Neither of us knew she had PTSD, eventually things went south, and she left. So did my sleep, completely.
Insomnia ruled my existance for a long, long time again, maybe 2-3 hours a night, of broken sleep. Most nights were made up of brief periods of cat-napping. I made her demons mine, I added them to mine, I ressurrected my old ones. I still stayed away from the bottle and the benzo's, I knew that I would be just a hair's breadth from dependence if I went that way. I wasn't willing to take that chance.
Intensive therapy from my shrink, and the occasional use of Benadryl (my little yellow pills :)) has all but cured me now. I am averaging 6 hours a night again, and I feel stronger. The stronger I feel physically, the better my mental attitude and my emotional stability.
So. Insomnia can be managed, even cured. Take heart in that, because I was convinced that it was my cross to bear for life. But faith in my shrink, a positive attitude towards the therapy, and sticking with the rules laid down by my shrink regarding setting sleep patterns has made the difference.
If I can do this, so can you. Don't think it will be easy, but as the cliche goes, its SO worth it. :D
I used to have no issues sleeping, could do it anytime, anyplace.
Then I was conscripted. Thought it a good idea to sign up permanently. And was flung into a war that knew no quarter. I saw and did things that appall and sadden me terribly, even today, almost 25 years later. That was when sleep first started evading me, the visions and memories as soon as the eyes closed. So I did what we all did then, I anaethetised them with alcohol. More and more was needed, until I would crash unconcious into a stupor.
Then the war ended, I was demobbed, I became a cop. Sleep slowly returned, but not for long. Again I saw things that haunted me, and the bottle again became my bedmate.
During this time I got married, a certain peace settled over me, and I abandoned the bottle. Things went ok for a couple of years.
I left the cops and went full-time into the pre-hospital medical field as a paramedic. Slowly the insomnia returned, but I had seen what the bottle was capable of doing, so I didn't go back there. I also know what the Benzo's and similar drugs do, so I steered well clear of them too. I learned to live with the lack of sleep, I slept when I could, I made do. Averaging 4 hours a night or so. But it took its toll. I know that it was a big contributing factor to the breakdown of my marriage.
I met a wonderful lady, things went well for a long time, and sleep slowly improved, up to about 6 hours a night. But she had nightmares, she would be awake, my snoring would keep her awake, and we ended up in separate rooms at night. Neither of us knew she had PTSD, eventually things went south, and she left. So did my sleep, completely.
Insomnia ruled my existance for a long, long time again, maybe 2-3 hours a night, of broken sleep. Most nights were made up of brief periods of cat-napping. I made her demons mine, I added them to mine, I ressurrected my old ones. I still stayed away from the bottle and the benzo's, I knew that I would be just a hair's breadth from dependence if I went that way. I wasn't willing to take that chance.
Intensive therapy from my shrink, and the occasional use of Benadryl (my little yellow pills :)) has all but cured me now. I am averaging 6 hours a night again, and I feel stronger. The stronger I feel physically, the better my mental attitude and my emotional stability.
So. Insomnia can be managed, even cured. Take heart in that, because I was convinced that it was my cross to bear for life. But faith in my shrink, a positive attitude towards the therapy, and sticking with the rules laid down by my shrink regarding setting sleep patterns has made the difference.
If I can do this, so can you. Don't think it will be easy, but as the cliche goes, its SO worth it. :D
Dear Bear - I think that it takes a stronger person to admit to a problem than it does to simply put up with a situation. You are doing what you do to give Angel a good night's sleep and I am sure that she is very grateful for that. I am equally sure that it does make her unhappy - but you are doing it for a good reason and it comes from your heart so cannot therefore be bad.
I do not sleep well, especially if my daughter or something wakes me up in the middle of the night. My mind just can not find peace in trying to find a resolution or peace with my family's dilemma.
I would try sleep aides, but I want to be there for my daughter if she needs or calls me since I am the only parent here.
Looks like another casualty during support is our sleep cycle. I think we need to have supporter appreciation day!
I would try sleep aides, but I want to be there for my daughter if she needs or calls me since I am the only parent here.
Looks like another casualty during support is our sleep cycle. I think we need to have supporter appreciation day!
A friend and I were chatting about how well we sleep when we fall asleep in our little ones bed with them. Then when we wake up and move to our own beds, we are wide awake. Our minds are stimulated by where we are, in our beds, where we probably spend too much time thinking. I don't know how to change this though. I even fell fast asleep on the couch last night and was exhausted as I moved myself to the bedroom, but as soon as I got in bed I was up for another hour.
Lately I've been having my own nightmares which as resulted in poor sleep, so not sure where those are stemming from...
Lately I've been having my own nightmares which as resulted in poor sleep, so not sure where those are stemming from...
- Post starter
- #34
amethist
VIP Member
Last night I slept well, that was until hubby woke me up growling, I mean real scary growling.
I then got back off until I started dreaming, strange dream of hubby getting lost, and ending up getting drunk because of it.
I did not wake up very good, thick headed and feeling like today is going to be a quiet day, so we can both just get over it all.
I then got back off until I started dreaming, strange dream of hubby getting lost, and ending up getting drunk because of it.
I did not wake up very good, thick headed and feeling like today is going to be a quiet day, so we can both just get over it all.
Oh - I once had a night of dreams like that - the first was that Husband was supposed to pick me up after a job and I saw him drive away without me and then I was chasing him and I got lost. I woke up and had a similar dream, then repeated it all again - in the end I gave up on sleep!
- Post starter
- #36
amethist
VIP Member
Another rough night, as hubby was in full blown nightmare/flashback mode.
I slept then until 10 am this morning and hubby has been sleeping on and off throughout the day so far.
Tonight should be easier for both of us.
I slept then until 10 am this morning and hubby has been sleeping on and off throughout the day so far.
Tonight should be easier for both of us.
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